advice

yesterday a voice told me,
"damage brain has been done, no one can save you"
another voice said,
"remember the ground, never forget it"
then this voice said,
"dont forget your reason for being there"
last voice said,
"you'll get through this with the right decision"

we'll see ...

besok

gue ada exam dari jam 9 - 12
setelah itu groupwork dan feedback sampe sore
and hari pun berlalu dengan cepat...

spring

leaves are coming out of tree branches
not long, there will be green everywhere
at least that's what i hope for
the owner of the house that i lived in tell me that the wild flower are coming out in the forest
the forest is very near, just behind the house
i should go there..
but it doesnt seem that i have the time.. nor the company.. yet..

my wind breeze

my door was always closed
i dont like to let people in
until one day, a knock on the door
who's that? no one there..
just a breeze of wind that go in
i let it in, it's just a wind, so what?
it's harmless, and yet it give a comfort feeling
i like it...
my room starts to get more cozy with the wind
slowly the wind breeze occupy all the room
it's nice to have it around
until one time..
when it starts to circle around me
turn my heart warmer and weaker
doesnt seem to expect me of giving the same
just circle around me, me who's not able to break it
is that why it stays there?? because i dont dare to break it??
dont dare to open the windows and let it loose??
dont have the guts to break the circle??
afraid to loose the coziness it creates??
or am I just someone who know nothing about dealing with wind...

somehow..

confusion state of mind
which one to choose and which one to loose
which one will be the right one and which one will turn out to be just another mistake
i see no black and white, only shadow and mist
i see a total mesh infront of me and i have no idea how to avoid it
sooner or later i will drawn in it
and a simple heart will turn into something more complicated

what!!!

"hello.."
"hi, it's me"
"hi!! it's a good thing u call me. i want to tell u something"
"what is it?"
"About my sickness.. actually it's SLE.."
"WHAT??!!!!"
"I'm sorry I didnt tell you from the first time I knew"
"....."

(be brave and i'll keep praying for you...)

another floating voices

what's wrong with blogger?? kenapa style yg bagus2 jadi ilang semua gini sih!! ga seru..!!
anyway, interesting conversations keep on going around you.. floating on your mind from past, present and probably you have something from the future :p

"hey, i like your smile.. u should have it more often rather than the tongue :p "
"really?? thanks!! :) "

"she has everything. i dont understand why she keeps getting involve with a bastard guy"

"do all french guys have a beard ??" [non-france person]
"why? i think they are quite lazy all, so that s why we used to have a small beard" [france person]

"hey, i dont think i saw u go into the 'circle' tonight" (read: capoeira)
"yep, i'm so dissapoint with that.. i hurt my ankle while playing with my dog so i couldnt train for at least 1 year"
"oh no!!"
"yep.. it's bad.. i love it so much i just wanted to jump inside and play, but then i'll probably hurt my ankle for good and i wouldnt be able to play again forever"
"..."

jadwal padat

sibuk sibuk sibuk...
harusnya... mestinya... gue sibuk..
bikin paper... bikin laporan kelompok... belajar buat exam... (ngomong2 exam gue seminggu lagi nih!)
tapi kok gue masih sempat melihat indahnya dunia ya?? :p
masih sempat merasakan love vibration all around :)
bagus donk.. berarti dunia ngga kejam2 amat...
atau mungkin itu cuma di sekitar gue aja??
kalo iya berarti gue mesti bersyukur banget!! ;)

this is just something in my mind.. today...
have u ever noticed that if someone really care about you, you can feel it? just by standing right beside him (or her).. or exchange glances.. without doing nothing but silence..
sometimes i think it's really nice to know... and most of the times it's so scary because u can even feel how much it is. it's just like electric current running straight to your heart.
how would u feel, if u know someone care deeply for u and u can return it as much as that person does?? totally awful.. been there, done that... nice feeling to know that someone cares, but at the same time, it hurts to know you can't care as much as he (or she) does
(untuk seseorang, thanks for being one of my bestfriend, hope u're so well out there)

last night...

last night,
was one of the nicest moments I had with my friends
last night,
i found out that someone who looks though outside, may be very vulnerable inside
last night,
someone said she saw a beginning of a relationship
last night,
someone said, he hates girls!! but then he still couldn't live without one :p
last night,
my angel walk me home ;)

and today,
time to go back to reality...
deadline of everything!! :(

floating voices

kadang percakapan cuma sekedar obrolan, tapi kalau dilihat lagi, bisa jadi ada makna tersembunyi.. if u just let your heart to listen..

"why are u always criticise me? who are u anyway?"
"ok, i will stop doing that"
"no, you wont... you wont be able to do that"

"gilaaa... quarter ini gw full!!! i'm under pressure now"
"santai.. hidup jangan dibikin susah..."

"gue ngga nyangka loe bisa masak kayak ginian (cheesecake-red)"
"emang loe pikir gue ga bisa masak?"
"yep..."

"u know, i have a crisis, so i couldnt work well"
"everyone has a crisis, so ..."

"why you are at home?!"
"im too lazy to go out"
"ok...clear...but unexpected..."
"what did u expect??"
"that you are not that lazy..."

"why you're not in bed yet??"
"what about u?? u're not in bed either"
"what a bad manner to answer by question..."

cuaca hari ini...

mendung di göteborg
gerimis pula malam ini
deadline draft report hari ini
gue dijatuhkan juga malam ini (it's simple actually, i kicked, he lift, and i was down :p)
beberapa alasan yg bisa bikin bete...
tapi hari ini gue senang.. really really in a happy mood..
ga jelas juga sih alasannya :p
just happy for no reason.. i think it's ok ;) dont u think??

sometimes it feels so hard to grow up
like Peter Pan who never wants to grow up
but he has Neverland, what do I have??

baru

new months [april already?? :p]
new hair cut [i like this one so much... :p]
new sun [now is definitely spring!]
new virus in my throat [why now?!! :(]
new quarter at school [started before other programmes do :(]
new task in the class [it's going to be busy and confusing :p]
new pen drive [at last... :p]
and i'm pretty sure there will be new adventure :)