back to reality

A week has passed
And I seem to be fine...
So was it for real?? Or was I just dreaming?
Was the feeling really exist?? Or was it just there with no intention to stay??
Did I really care about you?? Or was it just because you care so much of me??

Complicated.... should've never be an option.....

So back to reality... and to simplicity... is the best thing I should do...

flu

19 - ga bisa tidur semaleman, padahal badan gue udah berasa ga enak (which means that I should've rested)

20 - berangkat dgn modal tidur sejam, seemed fine at first, sampe kantor baru mulai terasa sakit kepala, terpaksa pulang setengah hari (bo! kerjaan gue banyak padahal.. :'( ), sampe rumah langsung tewas...

21 - masuk kantor, datang pagi... pulang terpaksa lebih malam dari jadwal rutin gara2 ada dinner (since we had our CEO from the other side of the world that day), sampe rumah cuma sempat tidur ±3 jam karena....

22 - jam 4 musti udah bangun, siap2 ke 4 Seasons gara2 ada acara kantor di sana (though I think I looked good this day, skirt for the day?? definitely unusual for me :p ), siang balik ke kantor.. ngejar deadline... demam naik turun... pulang ga terlalu malem, tapi stay up late to work on a presentation which should be done this morning (23/08) BUT was cancelled since we (my team at work) have to work on our reports for the deadline...

23 - hari ini... masih flu.. batuk makin parah.. tapi udah ga panas kooooq :p dan yg pasti... DEADLINE!!!! :'(

so it does.... or does not...

smile faded away on my face...
by the words that you said, I know yours is fading too...
my knees are getting weaker... thank God I'm not standing by you...
for those words will not come out... as I see the pain flickering in your eyes...
.
..
...
....
I guess it's best... for you and I...
for I'm still not sure about my heart
the pain is there of letting you go
but keeping you waiting will hurt me more
we'll see if our path will cross again
where I shall be sure... of you and I...
and I will be strong... for the two of us...


thank u for being honest and being you...

c'est quoi?

warm feeling on my chest when the word emerges...
smile is growing by the presence...
urge, to always see and stay beside...
with no words, just silence... the radiance still exist...

don't know why... don't know how...
such feeling happens...

don't know what...
don't know when...
it's just there unexpectedly...

...
....
.....
....
...

period of games is over..
thus verification is needed..
time will have to spent on it...
just to be sure that this is it..

...
....
.....
....
...

smile faded away on my face...
by the words that you said, I know yours is fading too...
knees too weak to hold this body straight...
even small fraction of water appear in the eyes...
for unknown reason...
for needing time to be sure...
...........
.......
....
..

I'll wait for time to tell that it's really true....