another birthday of you

With me...

Happy birthday dear...

low battery

2009 sering banget lowbatt...
Tekor power-nya...
Kenapa ya???
Semoga 2010 diberi energi yang berlebih...
Jadi ngga sering lowbatt...kayak sekarang ini :(

natal

Joyeux Noël à vous qui célèbre!! ;)

Resolusi 2010??

Hehehe...
Do you think it's manageable??
We'll see...

In any case, God will only give the best ones in our lives, as long as we keep close to Him and never give up trying... :)

UP (La Haut)

This movie (disney-pixar production) was released few months ago, but I've just seen it... the french version with no subtitle (haha.. you can imagine that I understood very little).
But beside my limitation to get all the conversation in the movie, it was a good movie.. good story... about a dream.. and to get the dream come true... (hmmm, I seem to be keen of this kind of movies a lot)

It started when the main character was just a child and met his "wife to be" in an abandoned house (in which the girl was imagining that she was on a plane).. Funny scene.. :)

Nice smile.. before he was down from the 2nd floor to the 1st...

And this is the book of her dream of adventure... which soon became his as well..

(ooopps.. sorry, this is the french version of the movie.. It said "My Book of Adventure")

The book contains her dream to go to South America and have a house in this place... (at that high edge near the water fall)

When they got married, they bought the abandoned house and make it theirs.. lovely house..

and started a new life together..
they had happy times and also sad time when they found out that she couldn't have a baby, but he stayed beside her and they started their childhood dream again together.. a dream of adventure..
(really love the part when he was there for her...)

In short, no matter how hard they tried to save some money to go to South America, there were always other things to tend to. Until she got really ill and passed away with her dream...

Then... the adventure begun... he chased their dream for her...
and got to the place.... with a house and thousands of balloons...!

and more adventures of course... (just watch the movie if you're interested)

It's touchy, funny and entertaining...


Kind of makes me want to start my own "livre d'aventure" with him... tôt
And make our dreams come true... like they did...

500D

dari masih bermimpi....
akhirnya kesampaian...
dibolehin ber-SLR lagi...
huhuhu...
senangnyaaaa!!

makasih sayangkuu...!!

abis ini nabung lagi untuk yang satu itu yaaaa.... :-*

hop hop hop

1...
2...
3...

JUMP!!

Ease all your worries and fears for it means that you're loosing your trust in Him ;)

and so it is

I knew then that it won't be easy...
I knew then that it'll drain out all the strength I have...
I knew then that I may not have what I want...

But I've given all I've got,
Be as best as I could've been,
Went through all from tears to laughter,
For something that feels right...

But the journey's not ours to have for now...
Not yet, if I may say so...
But let's just wait and let the time tells...

Will it be or not be...

the girls

I should've written this last weekend while the feeling lasts... :p
We had soooooooo much laughs together last saturday!

It started with me wanting to get myself busy by spoiling myself and trying something new for a change...
So I was thinking that I've never been to a spa before :))
Not so surprising as I'm not into that kind of activity much (hairdresser is just for cutting my hair and doing hair spa/creambath is not something that's done once a month - have it done for once every 4 or 6 would be good already :p )

Anyway, as I like to try something new when I have free time, so I thought that I really should go this time
Searching in the net for the nearest natural "branded" spa, well known for its herbal ingredients, I found one quite close to my house
You see, if I'm going to try this, it has to be in a proper place with high quality..
Why?
Because if I don't like it, then I won't think of trying other place as I've tried one of the best and dislike my experience there..

And soon after I got the idea, I've another idea to drag along my best friends to that place :)) - and like or dislike the new thing together :p
We've been friends for ages and although they occassionaly come for hair treatment etc, they're just like me and we are still the "tomboy" girls of our childhood in a way (but I'm the worst of everyone as they've stopped climbing trees while I still do "boys" activities even now).
This time, I'm not asking them to do wall climbing with me :p so I'm pretty sure they'd be interested (either way I'll get them there somehow!! :p)

In short, I've got them poissioned with my idea!!! GREAT!!! :p

Ok, so it'll be girls day after all...
We went to the spa, each got different treatment as preferred which made us not talking to each other.
It was a fun experience (might coming there again when we have cash :p), however the best come after...

All the way since we we're out from the spa place, what we did was just... LAUGHING...!!!
To all our stories, good time, bad time, and worst time...
To all our mistakes...
To trying new thing... (this goes especially for me from the spa :p)
To all regrets and lessons...
Pointing out mistakes that happened for not listening to the other advices...

Basically, just laughing hard at our lives :))

...
.....
...

It's always fun to be reminded of the ups and downs of your life with laughter...

So Thank U girls...!!
Shall we make this "girl day" regular??! (And yes, next time we do it after paycheck is in the pocket :p )

janjimu

Tertunda cukup lama...
Membuatku kesal...sampai akhirnya cuma bisa pasrah...

Will you keep your promise and be true to your words?
Will you fail me or be brave enough to do it?
Are you sure you really want it?
Do you have second thought?

Semua pertanyaan akhirnya tidak perlu dijawab...

All things happen for a reason
All decisions has its own purposes in life
All that shall happen is for the best of life, once you are sure that you've given all you can to gain the best...
So I need only to wait... In patient... (Quite hard if you'd like to know... :p)

....
.....
....

Hari ini janjimu terpenuhi

Was it difficult?
Was it hard?
Did you get cold feet?

Pertanyaan yang tidak perlu juga dijawab

You've done what you've promised me to do, so we'll see what's next...

Anywhere....

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now


-by Evanescence-

converse merah part 2

Memang menyenangkan!

Everything's as estimated yesterday..

Plus... I had a good progress with my project (cross my fingers all will go as planned), I had a lift to go meeting my friends at PP, I had good meals...

Ditutup dengan menyenangkan juga oleh jemputan si pacar...!!

I know u're really tired and extremely sleepy and the traffic was horrible because of the rain, but u still came to pick me up :-*

Sleep tight my dear...

Ce soir, je sais combien que tu m'aime.... Beaucoup!!

converse merah

Rasanya cape banget hari ini...entah kenapa... Udah ngga inget juga kapan terakhir kali berasa cape kayak gini...
Need to lay back and feel my bones crush.. :)

Besok sepertinya akan menyenangkan...mungkin lebih cape dari hari ini, tapi rasanya akan menyenangkan...

I won't be with Cuplis tomorrow... (Kena tilang euuy!! Trus tiketnya ketinggalan di kantor.. Hehe.. Clumsy as I should be :p )

Mau naik bus!!! Senangnya bisa nambah tidur sejam di bus :p semoga alarm-nya masih berfungsi jadi bisa bangun tepat pas di belokan deket kantor...

Will be wearing my red converse shoes...!! Semoga ga dicegat satpam gedung dan dikira anak ilang...

Mau ketemuan sama anak2 Swedia :p hope it'll be fun...

.....

Naaaaah...pulangnya gimana ya... :p
we'll see... Anyhow, it should be fine and fun ;)

.....

Now let's get myself some sleep... ;)

if only I could turn back time...

If my time is not that long...
I wish not of time to be turned back...
I will wish my childhood wish...
That I shall be a good person...
That I shall not be a burden to any of whom I care the most...
That I would able to show my love and attention more...
That I would able to bring happiness...
That I could be one of those good memory...
And finally, that I could be a useful person for my surroundings...

happy people

people are really different...
on how they see their lives or others...
on how they deal with their destinies or consequences...
on how they deal with their past...

I've said "you're forgiven but it's not forgotten" to a friend
and someone special to me said that it shouldn't be like that...
you should really forgive and forget...
I know that... and actually do that... (most likely because I have short memories :p)
but saying that I "forgive and forget" seems to make me a weak person... too soft and easily fooled...

well it's not like that at all...
it takes lots of courage to forgive.. to completely and sincerely forgive... since it means that you should be able to handle your heart very well
and it takes more strength to forget as people tend to remember all those bad things that happen to them... so human.. but it's still not a justification to see that tendency as a good thing

I have my bad time and worst time... but I don't regret them...
Some people did hurt me... but I don't despise them... (I may had hated them for a short while... something so called "human" reaction :p but not too long...)

I know and I believe that everything happens for a reason...
Even when I think it got me to my lowest point... but still... God knows that I have something to learn there so I'll just need to figure that out... with less emotion or anger involved... with cold headed and positive thinking... ;)
Don't you think so?

370 hari

bersamamu...

lama yaaaaaaaa....... ;)

..
....
......
........
..........

let's try to make it to be "for the rest of our lives"....
:-*

masih bermimpi

punya kamera SLR lagi... :'(
turun deh, jadi 500D ga papa...
tabungannya cukup ga ya...??
hmmm....

stuck in KL

was intended for 3 weeks, and I got around to make it only 1.5 weeks... :)
I'm here since last wednesday... so I should be back next friday
but I'm finding a way to make it just one week!!
For a good reason, of course...
My team here is actually going out of town next week for projects, so there will be only one person left in the office... I figure that would be the same as I'm doing the work in Jakarta.
Now, what's need to be done is to check how much will the airlines charge me if I want to change the date... (and hopefully they still have some seats on that date...)
And if I can make it home on that day.. it should be great since it would be our anniversary :p
We'll see... ;)

no sign

I asked for some signs...
If I need to stop...

Nothing

I asked for some signs...
If it will be as bad as I can imagine...

Nothing

I asked for some signs...
If it will be difficult...

Nothing

....

Everything just goes well...
And yet, I'm still searching for those signs...
Just to keep me on the average level...not too high, for I can't handle the fall...not too low, for I may not have the srength to climb...
So just average...
but still with no sign for now...
(Then I should start to think that it's a good sign, don't you think? :p)

never stop believing

This date last year...

I stopped something
...something that was not supposed to take place from the start..
...A mistake I knew would be too difficult and complicated for me to handle...
...A lesson of life I learnt through a hard way...

This date last year...

I knew that I did the right thing...
And I knew that I must pay for what I did...
But above all, I knew He won't leave me with my debt without His help...
I knew He will give me what I need to get through my decision, decision made with full consciousness and straight mind...decision that really was (still is) the right thing to do...

I didn't know what He will give...
I didn't know if I will survive...
But now I know...
I know what He has given me to stay sane...
I know that I've paid some of my debt with that as well...
I know that I'm here and I survive...

...
Just don't stop to believe and everything shall be arranged for you to live in peace
...

lebaran ni...

Maaf lahir batin yaaaa...
Lebaran pendek ni.. Penuh dengan perjalanan jauh...

18-19 sept : perjalanan 15 jam ke Solo
19 sept : bersantai dan belanja di Solo
20 sept : lebaran pertama - sungkeman keluarga Solo, nyekar, berhandai-handai, lanjut perjalanan ke Bandung
21 sept : lebaran kedua, sungkem eyang jogja dan bertemu keluarga besar, pulang ke Serpong
22 sept : bersantai di rumah...

Fuiih... Jadwal padat!!
Tapi menyenangkan bertemu saudara2ku tercinta.. :)

deg...deg...deg...

"Aku mau .............. kamu"
Deg...deg...deg...
Ini sungguhan kah?
"Gimana caranya ya?"
Deg...deg...deg...
Haduh, mana kutahu... Kan blum pernah...

Jadi, gimana caranya ya...? ;)

sabar

Kesabaran itu ibarat obat minuman yang pahit sekali, yang hanya dapat diminum oleh mereka yang berbudi sentosa, tetapi bisa menyembuhkan kesusahan dan penyakit...

Sabar bukan niat yang terhenti pada pengharapan atau tutur kata saja...

(Dipetik dari buku Sasangka Jati, bab Sabar)

besok puasa...

mohon maaf lahir dan batin yaa...
selamat berpuasa teman2ku...

menjelang detik-detik perayaan kemerdekaan

"Bahwa sesungguhnya kemerdekaan itu ialah hak segala bangsa, dan oleh sebab itu maka penjajahan di atas dunia harus dihapuskan..."

Susahnya menghapus penjajahan... :(
Walaupun judulnya sudah merdeka, tapi rasanya penjajahan dalam berbagai bentuk tetap ada...

Walaupun begitu...
"Sekali MERDEKA tetap MERDEKA!!!"
Semoga aku bisa berguna untuk bangsaku... :)

Selamat Ulang Tahun Kemerdekaan Indonesia-ku tercinta!!!

score of 7 or 8

I met one of my bestfriends today...!
We're like bound to each other when I was in college and I haven't seen her for a very long time as she has been living in France..
So it was a very pleasant and fun meeting..
I picked her up at her house and met her mother who's still the usual her, like the old days ;)
She remembers me for sure, I was the one who kept the phone busy back then (either her daughter called me or I called her), stayed over for group study before exam (which usually was full with gossip and "curhat"), and lots of other things.. :p

So for the meeting, we went to PIM together with Maïssa, her daughter... Yup, she's married since around 4 years ago when I was still in Sweden..

As we talked about lots of things back in the old times, we did the same today.. ;) I even lost track of time and practically had to race home to arrive in time before "the carriage turns into pumpkin" again :p but we usually lost track of time anyway (and made my mother jumped everytime the phone bills came :p)

We talked about many things, update on our friends latest news and then about marriage as well (not a new topic of this month, huh?)
As I mentioned to her about some of my friends with their "not so bad" situation and telling me to enjoy my "dating time" while it lasts because it won't be like that when you're married, she said something refreshing...
"Well it will be different and I'm not saying that I don't argue with my husband, I did have a fight with him which got me cried and deeply sad, but on the scale of 1 to 10, I think we have 7 or 8"

I like the sound of it, they are working for their marriage to succeed..and she admitted that it takes both sides to do it..

I would like that please...
With a goodwill to start and efforts to make it last for as long as God granted you the numbers...

things I'd really want..

-- Come to Stéph's wedding in October.
She's a dear friend and we had so much fun in Sweden. Jenny will be there, another dear friend from Sweden. Well, return ticket to Paris, her hometown, is around US$875 to US$ 1050... That's the cheapest... There will be few more € to be spent, assuming staying at least a week is proper and visiting some other friends there is a must... And for gifts and souvenir and fun...

-- Canon EOS 50D
A friend told me that it will be cheaper when the 60D is launched.. I think it won't be in the near time, right? Price of body + standard lens 18-55mm is around Rp 12mill. With 18-200mm lens (that is one of the dream) will be approx. Rp 15mill

-- another event
If this shall occur in this year, it may be 10 times the round ticket...


Pheeew... The wishes are kind of big this year... I had two wishes granted last year... I may be lucky enough to have another two this year :p or I may be blessed by not getting anything.. :p we'll see... I still believe that everything is happened for a reason.. A reason that's best for me, as long as I stay close with The decision maker... ;)

today's topic: marriage

Why?
Because people that said hi to me on YM were bringing that subject along in the conversation..

#1 (out of nowhere)
Friend 1: loe mau merid bulan November ga? Gue mau over dp ni.. Gedungnya ok loh.. Di P****j*** :)
Me : ha? Kejauhan tu buat gue.. :p
(And the conversation continued to catering choice, date, etc.. Hers, of course :p not mine.. Basically because she is the one having a wedding soon and not me :p Hehe)

#2
Friend 2: kapan kawin loe?
(ga pake basabasi-red)
Me : nanti.. :D
how's marriage life for you?
Friend 2: yah, not bad lah..
Me : huh?
(And the conversation continued to differences between dating and marriage, responsibilities, etc.)

*hehe... It's an entertaining day for me.. The subject was brought up with laughter and joy ;) thanks girls!!

I don't think I can take over the down payment for the venue :p but I will consider your suggestion of different places...for later.. ;)

Only "not bad" huh? Well, I think I 'll still keep it as one of my plan though :p

*girls, you're fighters..!! I know you can handle and get through it well ;)

first day after 2 weeks..

Today's the first day I came to work after resting for 2 weeks...
Didn't have too many task to do since I took care of almost everything just before I got sick :p
Still weak, but manageable..
I even drove myself!! (Sorry doc, had to disobey you.. I might gotten sicker if I didn't.. :p)
Anyway, tomorrow..more things to do..
Hope I'm getting stronger by the day, which I have a feeling that I will as I found myself feeling hungry quite a lot now :p A good sign of recovery ;)

today is today

A bit of tradition to write something on my B'day...
I did just this morning, but seems like it's not complete yet..

A good opening of the day with a very pleasent closing...
Love the moments..not all though, a bit less when I was almost fainted after they took my blood sample :p low bad pressure and lack of sleep are held responsible.. :)

Favourite of the day is his present, by mean of really was there...

Je crois que je l'aime de plus en plus... Je sais pas pourquoi mais c'est ça... Incroyable! Je suis amoureux de lui...
Dieu nous bénisse..
Notre chemin est encore plus plus loin...

30

Hey, I guess I'm trully blessed...
Never thought I'd reach that number... ;)
Thank you...

change

...

It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things that seem still are still changing

...


-Still (reprise) by Ben Folds

spending 29

if I'm blessed to reach the day, then I'll be ending my 20's being sick.. :D
got thypoid just last week..
got doctor's order to rest... bed rest.. (how do you think that sounds for me and my whole activities.. totally not good!)
when I felt that I was better, the doctor gave another look.. and yes, I still need that rest for another week! :(

wait.. I'm not complaining here.. (well, maybe just a little bit? :p)
I'm happy that I can have some rest... and it's actually in a good moment where I have completed most of my tasks at the office
but staying in bed and doing nothing is just out of the question...
luckily, nowadays I have lots of means to do something... not like 14 years ago when I got this sickness.. and blogging while you're sick is not forbidden, right?? :p

so... the number is growing in just a few days... I should feel old... but I don't... (LOL)
Or maybe I should start to feel that?? in a way it can make you wiser... well, only for some people though :))

and what have I done in my almost 30 years lifetime??
I think I was a good person....sometime... :))
I think I've made lots of people laugh... (it should be a good thing, right?)

but I've been bad and a jerk as well...
I've broken so many hearts (I really am sorry for that...)... although I was also broken lots of times, but it does not compensate...
I've disappointed some people.. (I think my mom is on top of the list, but I know she's proud of me at the same time. I can't understand how it works, actually.. but maybe I will someday..)
I've made people angry, created chaos, got into a real deep trouble that only God can help (and He did), confused people with my decision... and the list can continue forever...!!

Hmm.. not so good after all... :))
Well, I just hope that I've been a good influence for some, a good memory for some others, a smile for the rest...
And if I've touched any in a bad way that they dislike, please accept my sincere apologies.. never meant to cause anyone harms, but I may have did that...

Let's see if I can do better...
if God is sparing me more times to be a better person...
we'll see... :)

what is going on here...??!?!

What you get when you can't sleep...
Strange conversation with "old" friend from Grad school...

TAK!!! says:
so where r u living now?
RP says:
still in Jakarta
RP says:
you're in mexico city, right?
TAK!!! says:
yeah
RP says:
and you're married now, right?
RP says:
i think i heard that from Hector
TAK!!! says:
well.... yeah
TAK!!! says:
but about to divorce
RP says:
what??
RP says:
i'm not even married yet
TAK!!! says:
lol i wish i wasnt


they've only been married for 11 months... 11 MONTHS!!!
goossh...

Presidential election day 2009

Nope.. I won't be talking about the election process or result here... :p
Everyone has their own opinion and much of those are already in the news
I myself have my own opinion, which fortunately would not be shared here... :)

This election day is a kind of tradition for me and my childhood friends...
Many of our parents still live in the same housing complex and many of us are still administratively registered there, so when it comes to election day, everyone from everywhere will go home to vote (or to have a vacation :p ) and basically will meet everyone else that's there to vote..
A kind of reunion.. where we usually gather at our old elementary school area (as the election usually takes place there...), have some "old" meals that we used to take during daily school break and chat of the old days... then go to some other place together to "continue" the laughs :p
Although with the growing years, we have less and less people that can gather in the "reunion", but it's still a fun thing to do...

Yesterday's reunion was only with 6 people. We went to see a movie (Ice Age 3) and wound up waiting for 4 hours at SMS because the previous schedule for the movie is fully booked... still fun though...
and the laughs continued during the whole movie as well... :D

hope we'll still able to gather and have this reunion again.. 5 years from now...

validation please...

Akhirnyaaa....!!
kekirim juga final revisi untuk technical review...
eh tapi belum final deng, masih nunggu comment lanjutan..
and then to the next stage of technical review...
and then... let's submit the project for validation!! ;)
cross my fingers that the process will be quick and no major comments from the DOE
after that.. hoping the EB to accept everything (unlikely though.. at least not without comments) and get it registered..!!

pheeeww... that would be a long way to go...
some of you might not know what it is about...
well, it's my work... the one I put my biggest effort into for now...
it's the world of CDM.. a never-ending story of the world and environment... ;)

Nice Beat

I wanna ask you -
Do you ever sit and wonder,
It's so strange
That we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care
What goes on in the other one's head?

Things I've felt but I've never said
You said things that I never said
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago:

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

You could have just propped me up on the table like a mannequin
Or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me)
Any face that you wanted me
To be seen.
We're
Damned by the existential moment where
We saw the couple in the coma and
It was we were the cliché,
But we carried on anyway.

So, sure, I could just close my eyes.
Yeah, sure, trace and memorize,
But can you go back once you know

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)

You don't know me at all (at all)
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me

If I'm the person that you think I am (Ah ah ahh)
Clueless chump you seem to think I am (Ah ah ahhh)
So easily led astray,
An errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash, then
Why the f**k would you want me back?

Maybe it's because

(You don't know me at all)
(You don't know me, you don't know me.)

So, what I'm trying to say is
What (What?)
I'm trying to tell you
It's not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you'll only change it.
(Say it.)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

What?



--You don't know me--
by Ben Folds, feat. Regina Spektor

home alone 1

Kevin : Why don't you call your son if you miss him?
Old man : We had a big fight and I'm afraid that he doesn't want to speak to me again
Kevin : Well I think you should call him
Old man : And what if he doesn't want to talk to me?
Kevin : Then at least you know that and you won't be afraid anymore...

Basically...
It's how brave you are to face others...no matter how hard and difficult the situation... If you truly believe, then you have nothing to be afraid of...
And if what happens is exactly the thing that you are afraid of, then at least you know... And you can stop being afraid (since it happens already)... And find a way to cope with it... Better than being afraid of your own thought, right?!!

Why is this posting?
Because I admit that I'm afraid to do something for I may loose... But I was reminded today that the important thing is that you try...that you give your best effort...and that all the result is up to Him who owns this world...
So, I'll try... Though I may need a little more time to gather the courage, but I'm sure it'll all be okay in the end...

"Don't be afraid of giving, and love might just begin"
(from a song, my childhood song, forget the title though..)

menunggu air mendidih

My life is not perfect.. I know...
My love life is far from perfect.. I also know...
I'm not even close to perfect.. I know that perfectly...
But I would never trade my life with someone else's
I would refuse to experience other's love life
And I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me

Walaupun sekarang sering sakit-sakitan ga jelas, tapi harus semangat!!! ;) ya ga??

Everyone has their own things to deal with, their experience to help them, their friends and family to be happy with, their memories to hold on, their wishes to be granted, their mistakes to be forgiven... And I think everyone also has their faith to God that keeps them sane...

Mulai melantur...
dan airnya sudah mendidih sekarang..

apprendre le français

je dois apprendre le français plus fort, surtout d'ecouter.... :(
quelqu'un veut de m'aider??

seriously (not) joking

Midnite conversation:

+ : Would you like to grow old with me? :)
- : Emang kamu bisa tua? Perasaan dr dl cm segitu2 aja. :-p
+ : Bisa... Bisa tua, makin pelupa, makin nyebelin juga, makin jelek, n bisa jd sakit2an.. :p jadi gmn?
- : Ya gmn lg? Udah mentok.. :-*
+ : Mentok apanya?? :p
- : Mentok cintenye ame eneng ocha.. :-p
+ : Duuuh... Jadi malu aye baca smsnya... :p


That's how it is when you can't sleep... :p
it's a serious conversation after all...
And I bet he's asleep now.. :p

Message 76

Just a few minutes after you left the house...

Kamu tau ga kalo aku sayang bgt sama kamu?!
From: 0813xxxxxx23
9:19 pm 24/5/09

and I asked.. "why do you ask?"
you said.. "because I just want to say it"
then I said.. "it's not because of X-Box or Kawasaki, is it?!?!"
and you laughed... :))
so I said, "nope, you still can't have them for now honey" with a big grin on my face..

I know... it's not because of those...
and the answer is "yes"
because you showed it to me when we said goodbye near the carport..
you had that look in your eyes...
a kind of look that I've been able to avoid all these times for I was not able to return it with all my heart..

but there you were with that look in your eyes...
a look that I now can return gladly...

so the answer is "yes"

-----

and it's true

have you heard that "curiosity kills"???

I have...

I know that it hurts sometimes when you know something that's not as expected
I know that it will make your brows raised for something that you never know it exists
but...
I didn't know that it really can kill...

So curiosity just killed a part of my heart.. for something I may not suppose to know..
but it's something that is actually good to know...
to keep you in balance...
to keep you on track and not being carried away...
to keep you sane when you think you're already sane...

I know now...
and now I pray...
please make my curiosity a good way of finding my way...
to walk on this earth... to stay close to You...
and to come home to You someday...

I have made my promise to him... so please let me keep it...
please show me what should be done... anything but to break the promise...
let me stay with him... until You say I should not be...

21 Oktober

Wah.. ternyata tanggal 21... hihihi.. bener ga ya??
happy belated anniversary honey!!
it's 6 months already.. :p
felt like 13 years though ;)

patient

je compte le jours de se réveiller à côte de toi...
tous les jours...
je sais que maintenant tu fais la même...

downhill

harusnya excited ya...
tapi sedang tidak bersemangat nii...
perlu liburan.... :'(

A walk to remember...

3 July 1996 was the first call..
coming of nowhere, with so little conversation.. It was during holidays between school term and I was at home..

31 July 1996 was the first time you said it...
after lots of long distance phone calls... and I did call you back actually... just once though :p

.... then it's black..
.... I was with my life and you're with yours..

12 June 1999 was a memorable mistake?? Was not supposed to take place anyhow, and it did..
but somehow it becomes sweeter as time goes by..
(I did visited your city that year and we went out with the guys as well.. don't remember, do you? Actually.. me neither.. 'till I read it again.. :p)

.... another blackout..
.... no call, no news, not even a simple "hi"..
.... You with yours, I with mine..

first quarter 2007 was another time...
when you came and went away (again).. no traces of yet another existence of you in my heart.. (I did try to wipe it all.. and I managed that smoothly since I've forgotten those days were there.. -- you hated that I forgot about it, didn't you? Well, it's my defense mechanism that is trained for years.. but I remember those now ;) hmm... at least some... :p)

then 2008 came.. and so were you... just right in the middle of it..
brought back the good times and the bad memories...

you said you'd stayed...
and you're still here now..
so I hope you'll still be here..
and that "someday" will come for us..

-----------------

As days go by and fade to nights
I still question why you left
I wonder how it didn't work out
but now you're gone and memories all I have for now
but no it's not over
we'll get older we'll get over
we'll live to see the day that I hope for

come back to me
I still believe that
we'll get it right again
we'll come back to life again
we won't say another goodbye again
you'll live forever with me

Someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together

I heard someday
might be today
mysteries of destinies
they are somehow
and are someway for all we know
they come tomorrow

for today my eyes are open
my arms are raised for your embrace
my hands are here to mend what is broken
to feel again to walk on the face
I believe there is more to life
oh I love you much more than life itself
I believe I can change your mind
revive what is dying inside

And someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together
we'll be together
we'll be together
someday

-Some day by John Legend-

alasan!!

Kamu semua alasan atas segala keputusan..
Aku mau kamu tau itu sayang..
Luv u.. :-*

From: +62813**33**23
12:19 am 29/3/09


let it be a best decision for us then... :-*

to be or not to be?

we'll make it through...
doesn't matter how long it'll take...
I'll stay by your side, until you don't want me there...


Je vais rester jusqu'a qu'il n'a plus besoin de ça

sayap patah

rasanya ada yg patah ni sayapnya...
padahal baru satu aja yg lagi berusaha diberesin...
satu tapi baseline sih... :(

seems like falling to the ground...


*don't like being weak*

Kisah Romantis

Mengejar dirimu
Takkan ada habisnya
Membuat diriku menggila

Bila hati ini
Menjatuhkan pilihan
Apapun akan kulewati

Hari ini sayang
Sangat penting bagiku
Kau jawaban yang aku cari

Kisah hari ini kan kubagi denganmu
Dengarlah sayang kali ini
Permintaanku padamu

Reff :
Dan dengarlah sayangku
Aku mohon kau menikah denganku
Ya hiduplah dengan ku
Berbagi kisah hidup berdua
(Habiskan sisa hidup)
(Menikahlah denganku)

Cincin ini sayang
Terukirkan namamu
Begitu juga di hatiku..

Hujan warna-warni
Kata orang tak mungkin
Namun itu mungkin bagiku
Sebuah tanda cintaku..


OST. Cinta Silver (by Glenn Fredly)

too fast...

is it too fast?? too soon??
too much?? too overwhelmed??

slowing down....
for I will not have this fall to the ground...

to let go

a wise person said that if you really love someone, you will learn to let him go
let him be what ever he wants... where ever he wants...
if he comes back to you in the end... then you'll know that he's yours...


is it true??
so where am I now...?

letting go several times is not easy...
but even now, it does not seem like the end...
it feels like I still need to let go...

will I be as strong as before...?
or will I fail myself this time...
either way...
I will let go...

one question...

yes he did... last night...
and yet,
there are still so much to be resolved...
so much to be on each understanding...
so much to work on...
so much to commit to...
but so much to be happy for...

I'm not cold feet here...
I'm just thinking...


"pourquoi tu veux m'épouser?"
"parce que, je ne peux pas vivre sans toi..."


*Still don't believe it happened...*

plus de 3 mois

et tu m'aime de plus en plus... :-*

je souhaite que ce seras d'être toujours comme ça