seriously (not) joking

Midnite conversation:

+ : Would you like to grow old with me? :)
- : Emang kamu bisa tua? Perasaan dr dl cm segitu2 aja. :-p
+ : Bisa... Bisa tua, makin pelupa, makin nyebelin juga, makin jelek, n bisa jd sakit2an.. :p jadi gmn?
- : Ya gmn lg? Udah mentok.. :-*
+ : Mentok apanya?? :p
- : Mentok cintenye ame eneng ocha.. :-p
+ : Duuuh... Jadi malu aye baca smsnya... :p


That's how it is when you can't sleep... :p
it's a serious conversation after all...
And I bet he's asleep now.. :p

Message 76

Just a few minutes after you left the house...

Kamu tau ga kalo aku sayang bgt sama kamu?!
From: 0813xxxxxx23
9:19 pm 24/5/09

and I asked.. "why do you ask?"
you said.. "because I just want to say it"
then I said.. "it's not because of X-Box or Kawasaki, is it?!?!"
and you laughed... :))
so I said, "nope, you still can't have them for now honey" with a big grin on my face..

I know... it's not because of those...
and the answer is "yes"
because you showed it to me when we said goodbye near the carport..
you had that look in your eyes...
a kind of look that I've been able to avoid all these times for I was not able to return it with all my heart..

but there you were with that look in your eyes...
a look that I now can return gladly...

so the answer is "yes"

-----

and it's true

have you heard that "curiosity kills"???

I have...

I know that it hurts sometimes when you know something that's not as expected
I know that it will make your brows raised for something that you never know it exists
but...
I didn't know that it really can kill...

So curiosity just killed a part of my heart.. for something I may not suppose to know..
but it's something that is actually good to know...
to keep you in balance...
to keep you on track and not being carried away...
to keep you sane when you think you're already sane...

I know now...
and now I pray...
please make my curiosity a good way of finding my way...
to walk on this earth... to stay close to You...
and to come home to You someday...

I have made my promise to him... so please let me keep it...
please show me what should be done... anything but to break the promise...
let me stay with him... until You say I should not be...