macetnya Jakarta...

Hari ini gue cape banget!!
Agenda resmi cuma 1, ketemuan di CCF

Mari dimulai...

Berangkat dari rumah jam 10 pagi n berhubung gue malas menyetir (dan keputusan gue memang tepat!!) gue naik kendaraan umum dari rumah menuju CCF di Salemba. And guess what, gue baru sampe di cafè CCF jam 1 siang!!!! gile bangeeeeeettt!! Dari Ciputat sampai di samping RSCM... maceeeeeeettttt semua!! Huhuhu... Mestinya janjian ketemu jam 11 dan gue telat 2 jam!! (baca: gue sering telat sih, tapi belum pernah separah ini... :'()
Setelah itu ngobrol plus ngadem di CCF sampai jam 2-an (bayangin... gue menuju ke sana 3 jam dan "cuma" ketemuan selama 1 jam...)

Setelah itu menuju ke arah selatan... tadinya mau ke Plaza Semanggi, tapi setelah dipikir2 lagi bakalan parah kalau pulang kesorean (baca: jam pulang kantor daerah Sudirman yg gila2an). Akhirnya kami (karena gue ada yg menemani... thank God!!) langsung melanjutkan perjalanan ke PIM. Dengan asumsi, lebih dekat untuk pulang ke rumah dan macetnya juga ga lama... :)
Sampai di PIM jam 4an sore... ngobrol2 (baca: kami langsung menuju food court dan pesan makanan... hehe.. ternyata macet berdampak pada perut juga...)
Agenda PIM ini lebih baik, karena perjalanan 2 jam dari Salemba terbayar dengan ngobrol2 selama 3 jam di sana :) hehe..
Sampai di rumah pas jam 9 malam... phewww....
Senangnya...!!
Sampai di rumah gue yg sejuk... bertemu Melan yg sedang sakit dan kangen berat sama gue... (pas gue pulang tadi, dia tampak senang sekali bertemu... huhuhu...*terharu*)

Untuk dirimu... ;)
Terima kasih untuk ngobrol2nya hari ini....
untuk kesabarannya mengurai benang kusut....
untuk mendengarkan dan mengungkapkan....
untuk berpanas2 di dalam bis....
untuk menemani gue berjalan kaki....
untuk mengerti kalau "gue masih belum terbiasa (banget) hawa panas Jakarta.. huhuhu..."
DAN....
untuk hari yg melelahkan tapi menyenangkan ini...

I'm glad..

'coz you're back... ;)
*deep hugs*

Kebun Raya Bogor

"Sen... gue bete nih...!! long weekend ga bisa kemana2... ga jadi ke Bandung, ga bisa ngapa2in...!!"
"Hmm... ke Kebun Raya yuks!"
"Boleh.....boleh.... :D "

So, we were there at Kebun Raya Bogor ;) -me, Veri, Lisbeth 'n Alex-
from 11h00 until 16h00 (means that I left home at around 09h00)
then we continued the trip to Monas :D
back home at almost 23h00
hehehe...
judulnya jalan2 seharian bo!!!
Dan pulang sampe rumah (seperti biasa) sedikit diomelin :p hehe..

Sedikit bukti perjalanan kami...

MERDEKA!!!!!!

....
hari lahirnya bangsa Indonesia...
M E R D E K A!!!!
....

(17 Agustus)

uno día

...

Ay amor,
me duele tanto... me duele tanto...

...

(La tortura - Shakira)

cette nuit

tu n'es plus là...
mais j'ai tes mémoires... pour toujours...
je ne vais pas les oublier...
merci pour toi!!! ;)

Tu

....
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
.....

(Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette)


Je ne sais pas pourquoi... Je sais justement que j'aime bien si tu es là
Même si je sais que tu ne seras pas toujours là

I'll wait...

Waiting is such a boring activity...
"Waiting is not so nice!"
for any kind of things to be waited, that rule still apply..
Waiting for: Explanation... work... person... call... sms... E-mail... news... etc.
Especially when we really need to know... about something or someone or even situation...
Waiting in uncertainty is the worst...
Waiting in confussion is not a better thing...
I don't really like waiting although sometimes I don't mind if I have to do it.

Yesterday, I waited... several things only from one person: sms, certainty of an appointment, news about well-being, a call... and guess what... nothing!!
Then I remember, I had failed our appointment several times... I had kept him waiting many times... and he didn't mind... :)
Well, I didn't exactly feel upset about the waiting... worry is more suitable word for what I felt...
So if I felt that, he probably felt the same when he was waiting for me... (doubt it though :p coz I'm far from capable to take care of myself...)

Hmm... *hesitating*
Hope it's not too late ;)
Thanks for the waiting... Sorry for the troubles...

idle

Lagi OL aja...
Cuma chat, krn tadi pagi udah OL utk cek imel...
Menunggu kepastian keberangkatan gue ke pulau seberang yang ternyata tertunda2 dengan berbagai alasan yg menurut gue kadang2 ngga jelas!!! Huhuhuhu.... :'(
Biarpun begitu... kalau kata orang jawa seh... itu murih becik'e.... emang udah yg terbaik...
Gue bisa lebih lama di rumah...
Lebih lama merawat Melan dan Stela dan Cokie dan Bogel...
Btw, Melan juga lagi menemani gue OL nih... :p hehehe.. tertidur di samping kursi gue... :)
Sore ini mendung... tadi sempat gerimis...
Hari ini mestinya bisa nobu (baca: nonton rabu), tapi berhubung yang biasa diajak nosa dan nobu punya acara lain... ga jadi deh... :'( padahal acara lainnya itu juga ternyata ngga jadi... Huhuhu... Tapi waktunya emang udah ngga cukup sih..
Jadi ya sudah.. di rumah saja... memandikan Melan dan Stela, membersihkan rumah mereka (padahal kamar gue masih berantakan juga), bermain2 dengan kamera berlensa tele :p... akhirnya chatting deh...

di kantor hari ini

jam 20.00
menu makan malam setelah rapat koordinasi:

bahan2:
semangkok telur - dikocok
sepiring tepung terigu
air secukupnya

cara memasak:
tuangkan telor perlahan2 pada tempat yg telah disediakan
lanjutkan dengan menuangkan tepung terigu
tunggu reaksi yang terjadi....

hasil:
Rose siap untuk dimasukkan ke dalam oven!!!


Huhuhuhuhu.... Hikss..hiksss....
Masa sehhh?!!! Gue!! Udah umur berapa nih!!
Masih aja kena dikerjain pake telor dan tepung terigu...
HUAAAA... sama orang2 kantor pulaaaaaa....
HERRRAAAANNN!!!!

Tapi ga papa sih...
tandanya banyak orang yang sayang dan perhatian sama gue!!!
Huehehe... :P

C'est moi....

It's me...

et c'est mon jour!!! ;)
and it's my day!!! ;)

Merci beaucoup pour toi...
Thank you so much for you...

qui m'a chuchoté le première message quand je dormais
who "whisphered" the first message when I was asleep
.... et après, m'a appellé jusqu'à toujours :p
.... and after, called me until forever :p

qui m'a appellé
who called

qui m'a envoyé des messages par sms ou E-mail ou "Friendster"
who sent messages by sms or email or Friendster

qui me rappele toujours bien que tu sois loin ;)
who always remember me although you're so far away ;)


Merci!!!! Je vous aime!!!

Falling in Love again

Soundtrack blog gue untuk sementara waktu ini...
starts from today ;)
Lyrics?? here you go...!!

Funny thing is...
After I put this song here, I visited Chris's blog
And you know what??? :D
Check it for yourself... *wink wink*

......

So I guess,
beside it's ability to join forces and do great amazing things,
Leo's people......
can be thinking about the same thing also... :D

huehehe....
Miss you Chris!!!

Bersawah di Pasir Mukti, Bogor

Acara ulang tahun Pamiwahan Putera Pangestu bulan Juli 2006
Harusnya sih yang bersenang2 para adik2 asuhanku...
tapi.... ga papa donk kalau pengasuhnya ikut bergulung lumpur!!
huehehe...
So, here we go...

[Ros menanam padi...]


[balok kesetimbangan dgn rintangan berat]

[dan terjatuhlah....]

[tarik tambang lumpur]

Göteborg

kangen capoeiraaaaa...
kangen hang out pas weekend...
kangen duduk2 di taman sambil menikmati matahari...
kangen lari2 ngejar tram krn telat bangun...
kangen ketemu Simon di .... (astaga!! gue lupa namanyaaaa)... oiya, di Korsvägen :)
kangen goncengan naik sepeda sama Kostia...
kangen minum kopi dan makan cake bareng Stéph dan Jenny...
kangen bercanda sama Vasilis dan Yaser...
kangen dimintain tolong sama Hector, tetangga apartemen, cowo yang bisa juga jadi loyal ke temannya meskipun selalu minta tolong supaya ga ketauan nge2in (atau 3 atau 4 ya :p) cewe...
kangen diajarin spanyol sama Alex dan mengganggu dirinya yg sangat baik hati itu...
kangen main ke tempat kak Ida dan makan2 enak di sana....
kangen ngetok kamarnya Chris trus cerita2 sampai lupa waktu...
kangen ngajak tante makan siang mendadak...
kangen masak bareng Pipit dan diprotes mas Indra...
kangen barbecue sama mas Kompiang dan mba Kadek...
kangen renang gratis di Studenthem...
kangen teh susu buatan Erlang...
kangen jalan2 sama Nimbus pas salju turun...
kangen makan kebab bareng Chris meskipun kita tau lagi bokek berat dan ga mampu beli kebab :D
kangen Afterwork tiap jumat... free food for 1 glass of drink...
kangen belanja2 ke Brunnsparken...
kangen big hugs dari teman2 gue di sana...

hari ini.... gue kangen Göteborg...
Göteborg waktu gue masih di sana krn sekarang teman2 gue juga udah banyak yang ngga tinggal di sana lagi... Hiksss...

hari ini

setaon yang lalu... 21 Juli 2005
gue duduk sendirian di apartemen kecil gue.. menatap komputer gue.. surfing ke blog Rani dan menemukan website ini.. dan lalu mulailah gue iseng mencoba ;)
membatalkan latian capoeira gue untuk acara dinner sama ex ibu kost gue di rumahnya (dinner sekalian pelatihan buat jadi pelayan utk acara merid anaknya :p huehehe... anything for the money... hehe :p )

dua taon yang lalu... sekitar juli 2004
gue lagi dekat dengan seseorang gara2 kejahilan gue mengganggu dirinya :p
muter2 cari Euro bareng (his charity for my benefit :p), nganterin gue cari sepatu, nemenin gue ditraktir :p pokoknya had so much fun together ;) didn't we?? :)

tiga taon yang lalu...
ngga begitu inget sih... ngga ada catatan ataupun log apapun...
yg berarti.. ga ada yg spesial (except for my B'day, of course!). palingan gue sibuk di kantor :) hehe..

empat taon yang lalu... dan seterusnya...
masa2 penuh intrik dan kebodohan2 :)
yang mestinya sih gue ingat dan gue ambil pelajarannya supaya ngga terulang lagi...
tapi.... hemm... susah juga untuk diingat... (short memory capacity mode: ON)

terusss.......
kenapa gue mengingat2 hari ini di taon2 lalu?? or at least bulan ini...??

pertama, krn ultah gue di bulan ini ;) jadi buat yg lupaaaa... CATAT!!! :D

kedua, krn banyak cerita yg dimulai bulan ini... banyak?? :p hueuehee.. plisss deh... (exagerating mode:ON)

ketiga, krn banyak cerita yg berakhir di bulan ini... (exagerating mode:OFF)

keempat, karenaaaaaa.....
bulan ini biasanya gue merasa banyak banget orang yang sayang sama gue....!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 14, 2006.... A memory...

01:16 pm
Love you more for today...!!!

By just being there for 5 minutes with the books... with the smile... and with your tired eyes (since you haven't slept since yesterday).

I come to the point to understand that I actually don't want anyone else to carry my burden, but just to have someone to be by my side ;)
even if they're not talking and just being there in silence :)

and you said, "love me more (only) for today?! poor me :'( "

Huehehe.... :D

I said, "Not a chance my friend... love you more everyday... just like you said"

Thanks for your nice companion lately and for saving each other days everytime!!! ;)

cute flower...

Hemmmm....
Yes, I know....
HE loves me for sure ;)
Anyone else? :p *wink wink*

heaven and earth

man: "God, I have this opportunity here.. Not exactly what I want, but still is an opportunity for me to choose... What should I do? Move it closer to me please, if it's the right one"
God: "......."
man: "It's getting close... should I take it or not, with all that hesitation that I feel??"
God: "......."
man: "Please God.... Just give me some signs!!"
God: "......."
man: "Ok, now I get another opportunity... Is that a sign from You or not??!!!"
God: "......."
man: "Getting more of that hesitation here... hallooooo??"
God: "......."

* All the choices and opportunities are out there for you, pick one and you've chosen your path
* Confusions happen sometimes :) But it's yours to decide. Beside, it's you who have to live your life anyway ;)
* Don't expect Him to give all the obvious clue for you. Work for one!! But don't just jump into conclusion (read: thoughtless one, by the way)
* From my language: Yen wania ing gampang, wedia ing ewuh... Samubarang ora bakal tumeko
* Donc, Bonne chance!!

no me ames...

World Cup 2006

one sms:
----------------------------
Italy goes to final honey ;p
From : D***B****
4:33am 5/7/06
----------------------------

one very good news when I woke up today ;)
thanks for the sms!!!! ^_^ and the "early morning" chat before that... ;)

will tomorrow be

just another day.....??

or will it be

a big turn upon your whole life....??

....
.....
......
........
..........
.............

I'd say.....

whatever will be... will just gonna be...

* For a friend...

......
My mama said,

You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes
......

(You Can't Hurry Love - Phil Collins)

... on your uncertainty

sayang itu...

yang tulus dari hati...
yang terucap tanpa diminta...
yang terasakan tanpa batasan...
yang terpancar menghangatkan batin...
yang memberi tanpa mengharap kembali...

bukan hanya terurai oleh kata...
bukan terjadi karena diharuskan...
bukan hanya kewajiban dari suatu ikatan...
bukan pula yang takut-takut untuk menunjukkan...

* untuk seseorang... Who oncE care so much for me... although you're in A position of "only frienD"
thank you so much...!!!
for letting me understand that if you truly care, it will be on the air around you...
for letting me feel the struck of warm electricity when you only asked how I'm doing...
miss u...

happiness arrives

by mean of different things... different person... different situation...
on a time when you least expected
on a place where it's unlikely to occur
it comes...

and you just have to be grateful that it does...

PS. Thanks for everyone who allows yourself to smile while I was around. That's my biggest source of happiness, to be able to make you smile ...

one week at Yogyakarta as a volunteer...

..............................
.........................
....................
...............
...........
.......
....
..
.
It doesn't make you a hero...

kriiingg...

received calls:
+6221...
1:13am 27/5/06
00:06:55

"lagi ngapain??"
"lagi tidur. kenapa?"
"ngga papa. mau bangunin aja..."
"gue ga mau buka mata neh... mau tidurrrr... capee"
"ya udah gue tunggu sampe loe buka mata"
"iseng amat sih.. gue tidur lagi yaaa...."
"iya...."

* dialog yg sedikit dipersingkat (karena agak lupa detailnya-red), tanpa mengubah inti percakapan

Meaningless conversation??
* the content of the conversation -- not important
* the time of call -- very disturbing
* the reason of calling:
1. just to hear the voice --> very meaningful and kind of sweet
2. just for fun --> completely meaningless
3. emergency call --> not likely, see point "content of conv."

conclusion???
.....

earthquake

This morning at Yogyakarta and around....

Let's pray for the victims...
and help them in any way with the strength that we have...

Je vous present...

MELAN ....

for the ones whom I care a lot...

....
I thought I could live in your world
As years all went by
With all the voices I've heard
Something has died
....
Don't Cry (alt lyrics) - Guns N' Roses

Love hurts, Love scars, Love wounds' and mars
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
....
Love Hurt - Nazareth

"Never fear 'cause He's here to answer your query
Don't shed a tear for He shall heal the injured"

night out

abis jalan sama "lulusan" kantor lama gue plus satu orang yg masih kerja di sana :D
ga jauh2, cuma makan aja... tapi menentukan tempatnya itu loohhh...
berangkat dari rumah jam 5 sore (jemput Rina dulu di Citos, trus ke Kuningan ketemu yg lain), baru mendarat di "restoran" Menteng jam stengah 9 malem :p
susah juga ya kalau dari awal belum dipastikan mau kemana
untung sopir kita baik :p hehe... thanks ya Lex!!
pulangnya mampir Setiabudi building dulu.. ke parkirannya maksud gue :D
soalnya mobil gue ditaroh di situ, secara (ampun deh gue.. ketularan gaya ngomong "secara" gini.. :p ), sekali lagi, secara kita cuma ber-5, jadi ga efektif banget plus buang2 bensin kalau pake dua mobil. selain itu, alasan terpenting adalah... ga bisa saling mencela!! huehehe..
senang juga......
udah pada "mapan" nih sejak lulus dari kantor lama :D berarti tinggal gue donk..
ayo semangat!! semangat!! :D

well, it was a nice meeting ;) and I guess we'll meet again soon.. for another treat...
next would be... movies and sea food... my favorite ;)

...

kemarin Macan kembali bertunggal dengan penciptanya
jam 15.00 di RSH Ragunan :'(
cek darahnya menunjukkan kalau dia kekurangan darah merah...
malamnya, dia dijemput untuk dikuburkan di makam keluarga (samping rumah-red)
malam itu juga Melan diperiksa di RSH dengan gejala sama yaitu muntah2 dan diare
dokter bilang dia pucat sekali.. hasil cek darahnya sama dengan Macan: anemia
gara2 apa?? ternyata gara2 CACING TAMBANG!!!
kayaknya satu rumah mesti pembasmian cacing nih...
ga cuma hewan peliharaan, tapi yg punya juga :)
anyway, Melan masih bertahan...
hopefully she'll survive...

je suis triste...

siang tadi, si item kecil mati... :'(
sakit sejak hari jumat kemarin...
sempat terlihat sehat, tapi pada akhirnya tetap ngga mau makan... :'(
but she died like she was asleep...
I guess her duties in this world had been fulfilled

macan juga sakit, nyusul adiknya...
sampai saat ini si macan juga masih lemah, ngga mau makan...
coklat-putih dan si hitam udah diadopsi orang kemarin...
jadi sekarang melan sendirian di luar...
ada stela dan memey sih, tapi tetap aja sepi tanpa saudara2nya...

hikss...
je suis vraiment triste...
apalagi tadi abis liat video waktu mereka masih lengkap...
hueee...
wis..wis.. gue sign off dulu aja :'(

greatest sense of humour

tonight someone reminded me
about who has the greatest sense of humour...
who can makes us laugh not only at that moment, but long after that
who can makes a very simple joke seems complicated at a time
who can makes you spend years and more years to understand the jokes
who knows that the jokes won't be funny for you unless you have a very big heart to understand them, and despite that knowledge, still plants the jokes everywhere at any time

but still.. the jokes continue... and the humour spreads...

for a friend...
whom I have not talked to, in such a way as tonight, for a very long time...
thanks for the reminder that the Highest Power has a truly great taste of humour

Girl from Mars

Do you remember the time I knew a Girl From Mars?
I don't know if you knew that
...
.....
...
Today I sleep in the chair by the window,
It felt as if you’d returned
I thought that you were standing over me,
When I woke there was no-one there
I still love you, girl from.. Mars
...
...

by: Ash

just a blast from the past that I watch today on a music channel in television...
one of many soundtracks of my life

1 down, 4 more to go...

(since one of the 6 should be ours.. :p)














there he goes... my little brown puppy...
hope you're with a nice family that loves you...

little things with paws...

cute but fierce
adorable but unpredictable

prayer by mistake?

ever realised that what you said might happen although it's not intentionly?
ever noticed that what you do or say is somewhat like a prayer which may come true??

notice this...
on March 9th, 06.
I wrote that I have 10 dogs. Tiny mistake of calculation since 7 + 1 + 1 + 2 equal to 11.
and how many do I have now?? 10 dogs...!! :'(
one of the puppies died when it was no more than 1.5 weeks old.

coincidence or "prayer by mistake"??
I'd never know for sure...

trick or treat

sometimes you lift me up, and then sometimes you bring me down
I wonder what you're gonna do each time I turn my back around
you're either devil or an angel, a Jekyll or a Hyde
trick or treat... bitter or sweet...

the day that we first met, I didn't know what to expect
and so I fell in love with you and now my mind is just a wreck
depending on the mood you're in, you're either good or you're bad
trick or treat... bitter or sweet...

tell me why you're fooling with my mind
I'm either way up front or far behind
it's up or it's down and I love being around
when it's high up in the sky

but when it's low you bring me down and I don't know what's going on
I don't want changes from a boy that I just can't depend upon
you either love me or you don't
you either will or you won't
trick or treat... bitter or sweet...

(sang by: Nikka Costa)
- song from teenage-hood that can still applied anytime-

puppies!!

7 puppies were born on 8th of March.
The first one came out at 00.05, and the rest came afterwards.
The process was completed in 6 and a half hours later.
Memey was in great pain and exhausted... but she managed it very well.



















So now, there are 10 dogs in my house ;)
7 very cute little ones, their mother (Memey), their big sister (Stela), and my two other dogs (Cokie & Bogel)

Memey

have a week off from the course this week
I thought I can have some relaxing time
but nooo... I have to take care of a pregnant dog
and not just a dog... it's Memey!!

FYI, Memey is the mother of my brother's dog, Stela
She is not mine, of course, since it's too expensive for me to have those kind of dogs as pet (the food, the veterinarian, etc), considering that I'm incomeless for the moment :P. They're the APBT. She belongs to one of our friends whose wife just recently delivered their second child. I'm sure it will be too much for him to think about the dog, while he, himself, is too busy taking care of his wife and little daughter.
Anyway, back to Memey...

I never knew how my dogs (regular dogs) delivered their puppies before since they just showed up in the morning, those little things with paws.
I didn't even know if my dogs had some trouble or pain when delivering them.
Bottom line is, actually, perhaps I don't care on how it happens, I'm just happy about the result (read: puppies).
But this one.... I have to care.... :'( Since it is entrusted to me (actually, it's not my responsibilities.. but my brother's... but he's working and currently I'm not... so I'm home most of the time, with those dogs, obviously)
I just read some stuff about pregant dogs on the internet, seems like it's complicated
So many things to do, to watch over and to care for... :'(
I just hope Memey is experienced enough about this, since it will be her third times...

to work or not to work

cari kerja... terus kerja....???
atau belajar dulu... baru cari kerja... terus kerja...???
crucial choice :(
kadang2 gue berpikir gue harus kerja...
berarti gue sebenarnya masih belum mau kerja donk...
tapi cuma terdorong oleh situasi dan kondisi doank...
kalau gitu, yg bagus itu sebenarnya gimana sih??
kerja karena emang suka.. kerja karena butuh.. atau kerja karena terpaksa.. ??
hemm.... saatnya untuk berpikir :)

...sigh...

compare toothache and heartbreak?
why do some people do that?!!
both situations are the same...
painful as hell flame.. (yeahh... right... like I've been there myself :p)
both of them distract your concentration, reduce your appetite and also possible reason for headache...
very annoying indeed...!!
however, they have a positive damage...
it can be helpful for those who are in diet ;)
don't you think so?? :)

waiting for the rain

was headed home after class, but caught by the "not so heavy" rain
in a thought that I should learn more "french" and that I could catch the first 'nice' train home at 16h00, I stay here
what am I doing?? free internet!!! my favourite, of course :p
I might even consider staying longer next time just to read my friend's blog :p
couldn't open my email though (or at least I don't try to do it, since there's this warning infront of me saying that this internet connection is only for french sites !@#!$ and not for personal usage -- and I don't consider blogging is personal usage :p)
anyway, my point of waiting for the rain might become useless... since the dark cloud is still out there... probably waiting for my appearance out from the shelter and then... start pouring its cold water heavily on me..
well.... at least I'm blogging for free :p

25 messages

bad idea!!!
sending 25 message at the same time in order to save time and energy
"only" 25 since it was the maximum limit...
while I need to send more message to my friends, my mobile number is not working properly at the present (of course it's because of the smart "25 msg for time saving" idea)
I think I just crashed my number... :(
another bad thing is that I'm expecting replies from all 25 messages
which since 30 minutes ago, I only got one reply...
meaning that...
most likely I can't receive those replies...
once again... bad and stupid idea!!

lesson to learn today: patient!!!

don't let time to be the boss of you, let yourself to be the boss to control time

powerless

what strength do we have, if not because of the greatest power
in which we only borrow a tiny bit of its glory
only if you're close to the source...

three days of walking without strength
ready to collapse at any time... anywhere..
realizing that I'm not that close to the source
but one thing for sure...
the source will not withdraw its presence from me
although I'm just another creature in the universe

rambut baruku...

ancuurr abisssssss...!!!!
baru aja pulang dari potong rambut karena gue udah sebel sama rambut gue yang ngga jelas
niatnya sih cuma mau dirapiin dan ngga dipendekin, tapi kok jadi kayak gini ya?? :P
and guess what?!
tadi mba-nya nawarin gue buat potong rambut gaya Agnes Monica, sekalian juga rambutnya dicat kayak dia...
HUAAAAAAAAA......!!!!
bisa dianggap sebagai penghinaan, kalau ternyata mba2 itu ngga suka sama Agnes, yg notabene berarti dia mengusulkan sesuatu yg dia anggap jelek untuk gue
bisa juga dianggap pujian, kalau dia anggap gayanya Agnes asyik, dan berarti gaya gue asyik juga donk!! hehe... (padahal cuma T-shirt, jeans dan sandal jepit :P)
apapun itu, gue jadi tersanjung...
karena berarti tampang gue masih seumuran sama Agnes!!
huehehe.... parah!!

soulmate lagi

ternyata...
kayaknya bukan deh ;)
guess it was a false alarm

fatigué

today, everything started at 06h30 and finished at 23h00
at the finish line, I was so tired...
but still, I'm online right now...
writing something on my blog
something that's not really important to anyone else but me...
today!!
* exercised some capoeira kicks, which made me realize that I should train more often... :( but "time" is still the main issue here...
* one of my best friend got engaged. I wasn't there to witness it, but my camera was :)
* spending the whole afternoon to cross half of Jakarta area, just to trade something that I bought yesterday but ridiculously got mixed up and I ended up with the wrong item. I wouldn't be so keen to exchange it if not for the reason that the wrong item was so useless for me :(
* however, I had two good companies during my so called trip today. thanks guys!! Thank you very much for your kindness to drive the car ;)
* my cousin got lost in South of Jakarta and I had to pick her up on my way home from the trip
* got back in time to hit the shower and get ready for a marriage reception. Yes, tonight was Asti and Dolli's night and tomorrow will be Edy and Anit's day :) great party! huge one :D
And now... I need my sleep...
have to wake up early tomorrow because it won't be just another lazy day...

youngster

you know that I'm not that old... but recently, I've been hanging around with some young people since we're in the same language class.
And Oh My God!! Seems like I'm half of a century old :p well, not really..
Actually I don't feel old at all. A point that I might should start to think about :D
They're really funny sometimes and I really like them :D
It's fun, you know... to take a break from all the troubles that people my age (ohh... please don't say that...) tend to get themself mixed in the circle of never ending thought.

Speaking of never ending thought... how would you feel if your fiancé break the bind when you've already set up a date?? devastated??
I won't be surprise if you do...
but what will you do if just in a short time, you become the reason for someone to break his/her bind?? the same situation, but this time, you're the bad person...
for revenge?? pure love?? other reasons??
any reason will still lead to only one thing.. you have made other feels the feeling that you yourself hate to be in one
I still believe, that everything that's not well started may have difficulties to have good ending also...
so it will be just a question of strength, how strong you can handle the coming obstacles....

comment ça va mon ami? ;)

Happy New Year 2006!
Selamat Tahun Baru 2006!!

May good things come in the coming year...

mall

hari ini nonton Harry Potter di PI Mall
keren loh PIM... lantainya makin mengkilat :p
tapi kok gue pusing ngeliatnya ya...
dengan segala kemilaunya.. penuh orang2 lalu lalang bergaya seperti kebanyakan tokoh sinetron..
gile emang sinetron ngerusak jiwa banget..
sedikit tapi pasti... menggerogoti cara berpikir orang2...
dari segitu banyaknya orang di Mall tadi, kira2 berapa persen ya yang mikirin orang yg ga bisa makan.. atau mikirin penebangan hutan liar yg turut memberi kontribusi meluasnya lubang ozon..
bukan berarti semua orang yg ke Mall itu ga punya "rasa" itu loh!!
cuma rasanya kok seperti bersenang2 di atas kepedihan orang ya..
gue aneh ya??? biarin!!! emang gue aneh.. tapi tadi gue benar2 terganggu.. penginnya cepat pergi jauh2 dari situ.. :(

debt

thank you!!!!
for the pool game...
and the nice food from Palembang... (akhirnya makan Pempek juga... :p)

soulmate

eh, btw...
sudah sebulan sejak gue mengira gue menemukan soulmate gue!!!
mengira...??
karena beliau sudah punya gandengan :D
hehehe...
bukan soulmate donk kalau jalannya tidak lancar ;)

X-mas!!

For you who celebrate..

Merry Christmas!!!
Joy, laughter and happiness...
Hope you get a white christmas ;)

usia panik

abis jalan nih ama teman2ku
sibuk membahas "freak out" sebelum nikah
tiba2 ada yg menyebut2 "usia panik" berhubung kita2 masih ada yg jomblo (termasuk gue :p)
tapi...
kok gue ga panik ya!!!! :) aneh ga sih...
dan ternyata... setelah ngobrol dengan salah seorang teman... ternyata gue juga ngga sendirian... :p
kenapa panik sih...??
semua kan menjadi indah pada waktunya...
kalau Yang Di Atas itu Maha Tahu, tentunya lebih tahu kan kapan kita siap untuk suatu babak baru ;) ya ngga???
Jadi buat para jomblo2 di luar sana yg merasa dirinya sudah usia panik....
Ingat, hidup itu cuma sebentar dan sangat rugi kalau cuma dihabiskan utk panik :p hehe...

loosing my inspiration..

up and down

when you're down on earth, things get more complicated
here on earth, two problems can grow into ten
"if you can make it complicated, why make it simple?"
so while you're up there...
where simplicity is still the best option
just take your time and enjoy

Jakarta

belum genap 2 minggu, saya sudah mulai pusiiiingg...
sedih juga liat Jakarta... tapi mau diapain lagi...
nyetir sendiri kok sekarang jadi ga pede gara2 liat lalu lintasnya...
musti berani mati kalau bawa mobil atau motor...
hiksss.... hiksss.... berapa lama ya waktu adaptasinya....

unreachable... doesn't seem to matter at all...
before...
untouchable... doesn't seem to be in the way...
before...
when the unreachable touch the deepest, confusion emerges...
when confusion reach its conscious, even the deepest can't move...

guess I'm just stuck in one moment that I'd never thought I would have...
not in a very short time like this...

busy busy...

free time?? not even in a week...

who to meet beside those at home??
my friends... a must!!
my grandmothers... definitely!!
my cousins... yep!!

and one week won't be enough for everyone...

11 MBps

I miss my connection...
my 11 MBps...
24 hour per day... 7 days a week...
...
yes ladies and gentleman... I'm home... :)

the notebook

one movie...
one scratch heart...

never been so touch by a movie...
it has always been just fairy tale...
guess I just lost the ability to resist...
something that I've never thought I would feel...
or do...
until 15 min ago...

this journey...

Nothing was like this..
Nothing was even close to it..
Guess I have to give it up very soon..
Never thought that loosing would be so difficult
Never thought I'd feel sad for something that I know is temporary
Never thought I'd be too attach..

I pass!!!

Thank you guys for coming!!! I love you all!!! ;)

5 minutes

before presentation...

1 day

and the clock is ticking...

7 days

and the countdown continues...

don't try to fix me, I'm not broken...
(Hello - Evanescence)

abstract... abstract... abstract...

not finish yet...

to let go, does not mean you're loosing
to accept, does not mean you're giving up
to wait in patient, does not mean you stop trying

16 days

and the count down begin...

...didn't make sense not to live for fun
your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb...
(All Star - Smash Mouth)

working hard and having fun should be in an equal relation ;)
and not just the fake fun!! but the real fun...!!!
where you can smile and laugh with your heart...
so one question if you're working hard right now: Are you having fun??
I don't think so... ;) so take a break for awhile... go outside and do something fun!!!
be back in an hour and you'd be smarter than before ;)

there's just...

too much.. that time can not erase
too little.. that mind can ignore

I look but I don't see
I touch but I don't feel
I hear but I don't listen
pointless...

what do you want??

you... to see through my eyes and find what's behind my trouble mind
you... to make me laugh when I don't want to and hold me when I'm angry
you... to like me for my choices and tell me straight when I do something wrong
you... to judge me not for what I do and trust me with all your heart

you...

far behind

when you really work... you know that you're way far behind the schedule...
and when you know you're behind...
you tend to rush everything... tend to be careless...
forgetting small stuff which, most of the time, is important...
so which is better... to know... or not to know... ???
someone said, happy are those who do not know... :)
what d'you think?? ;)

minggu ini?? let's see...

hari ini...

gue masih sakit... menyebalkan... I thought that I will be okay yesterday since I was sick on monday :( Turned out that I had a fever yesterday, which is far from better...

teman gue ada yang sedih karena ditinggal soulmate-nya pulang ke Indonesia (but we are here to take care of you dear.... don't worry..)

senangnya ada yang bilang kangen sama gue... although it's just an E-mail, which came yesterday and got caught in my bulk mail until I rescued it. Miss you too!!

gue sebeeellll.... because I just wasted the whole week by doing absolutely NOTHING for my thesis and I have to come out with a progress report next week...

Tika

today... this time of day in Indonesia... one of my best friends get married...
hope she will remember that this is the end of her adventures ;)
and may you two live happily ever after...
Tika and Ando...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

p.s. Details please... I'm not there doesn't mean that I shouldn't know about the party ;)

6 years ago

Was it love then?
It sure was a lot like it...

crap(b) day

today..
should've been working..
but instead, we went to the center..
bought some things (luckily, I passed this temptation to buy something :p)..
ate ice cream although it was rather cold, but the ice cream was so good..
and finally.. CRAB time!!
we bought this 3 BIG crabs (actually, she bought it and didn’t let me pay for it :p thanks!!) , cooked it and ate them..
just simple dish, but with the most important thing, CHILLI!! :D hehe...
great dish followed by good exercise... (we went swimming afterwards..)
another wonderful day for me ;)

I could never do what I intended to do before.. working hard without having fun..
It's so totally not possible for me :D

hectic.. panik.. pusing..
abis ketemu supervisor gue.. kok kayaknya gue jalan di tempat ya...
hueee... jadi "sedikit" khawatir... tapi kan ga boleh khawatir... if I'm worried then I don't trust that everything is under His control, so I shouldn't be worried... but I just can't help it.........
well okay, I'm trying not to be worried now.. by reading a journal (hehe...) strange way to ease the worrier :D

... angel ...

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
...
(Angel - Sarah Mclachlan)

"She didn't believe in angels until she fell in love with one"
City of Angel - 1998, Pamulang 21 cinema
A remembrance of good times in the old days...

another "today's forecast"

they say that,

"Love can be a surprise, but if you're willing to do the work, it can be a lovely one. If you're attached, now's the time to look at the deeper issues.
If you're single, it's time to examine your attitudes toward love."

Do I have attitudes?? :-o Well, I don't think I have the attitudes (read: bad attitudes) or maybe some of you think I do have :p hemm... yep, probably I do.. sometimes.. How can I say, no one ever touch my heart that deep to deserve the big "L" word to occur ;) But I do believe that when the time is right, then...

Anyway, I just watched this really nice movie on TV. I really like this kind of movie, you know, the one with the main characters struggle to achieved their dreams, and succeed in the end :p some of you might say, "come on... it's just some typical Hollywood movie.."
BUT this one that I saw was (I think) a production from England, and the main character is an Indian girl (read: a girl with India as her native country) that live in England. And... The movie was about soccer game ;) Nice one!! I will just write the title here just to remind me again about this movie someday... It's 'Bend it like Beckham'.
I was just thinking.. What I really want before was just to go abroad and study the subject that I really like. So, you can say that's my dream. And I have it now!!! :D So, I should be very happy... Well, I am happy!! :D
And not only that, I have learnt more about life itself here, different kind of life :)
Now, can I have another dream?? I should say "who can forbide me to have a dream?!" well of course No one but the Creator of the universe. So, I guess I will have another dream... or maybe I've already had one... Just waiting for me to realize its existence and for me to fight for it ;)

...
forgive me God for I had lost my temper this morning
...

BMW gue

tau kan gue belum bisa beli mobil?? :p
nah, tapi gue udah punya setiran mobil BMW dari adik gue.. kecill dan lucuuu dan imuuttt.... oleh2 pas dia kerja di Balikpapan..
tapi sekarang setiran gue ilanggg :(( hiikkksss... baru nyadar malam ini... sebel deh!!!! so careless of me :(

old friend

Wise man say, only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay, would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you
...
(Can't help falling in love - Elvis Presley)

Got your e-mail tonight
Glad to hear you got a job
Never thought I'd say (or feel) this
But I guess I miss you...
Good luck for you there!!!

the butterfly effect

It has been said that something as small as the flutter of butterfly's wing
can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world
(Chaos Theory, The Butterfly Effect Epilog)

I'm supposed to be working on my data now... BUT.. at lunch time.. since I'm home working with it, I ate lunch while watching movie ;) this Butterly Effect movie.. I know.. I know... it's an old movie :p but STILL I like Ashton Kutcher and I haven't had time to watch it before ;)
And now... I am totally distracted from my data.. :((
Anyway... I knew already that whatever I say or do at this moment will affect my tomorrow (or next minute), but this movie kind of showed me extreme examples of the effects and remind me that those things can happen sometimes...

A friend talked to me last night.. he said something that made me said "Did I do anything to cause that??" He answered me with "NO!!!". So either you didn't do anything or you did something, it will lead to one thing... the unexpected... ;)

Now... I need to get back to work... just realising one important thing here.. If I don't start working hard, how the hell am I going to be able to go home as "expected".... ;)

akhirnya...

selesai sudah waktu gue untuk bersenang-senang (baca: kerja part time membanting tulang buat bayar bill akibat keborosan gue :D ), sekarang saatnya untuk kembali berkonsentrasi ke tujuan utama gue ke sini... belajar biar pinteeerrr... hehe.. (baca: pinter cari duit.. hehe)
gimana gue mau pulang cepet kalau thesisnya masih jalan di tempat kayak gini :(( hikksss....

setaon yg lalu... kata Twinny... gue ketemu dia di sudirman ekspress bawa2 blue print PIM2 :p bukan blue print seh... cuma rancangan sistem parkir dan manajemen lalu lintas di dalam PIM dan sekitarnya. Dan gue denger kalau PIM2 udah jadi ya?? terus kata teman gue di kantor... rancangan gue dipake :p ckkk..ckk... sebelumnya gue minta maaf kalau ternyata manajemen lalu lintas yang gue rekomendasikan tidak sesuai dengan harapan para pembaca... :D hehe... atau mungkin nanti pas gue pulang dan jalan ke PIM gue bakal ngomel2 sendiri menjalani hasil rancangan gue... ;)

hari ini gue bisa santai2 di rumah.. just me and my shadow ;) tapi heran!!! giliran gue di rumah dan online sepanjang masa.. kok orang2 ga pada online seeehhhhh... :(( sedihnya diriku...

My forecaster said this:

You can't justify all your actions, especially if the results speak so eloquently for themselves.
If you committed an error, admit it without any fuss and dissembling, and it'll be over before you know it.

Why do I put it here?? Because the last phrase is mine... I mean, not that it is patent by my name, but... I use it quite many times ;)

It'll be over before you know it...

one hectic week had passed...
but here comes another hectic week... :(

udah setaon

tadi siang gue kebagian tugas jemput salah satu mahasiswa baru yg bakalan kuliah di Chalmers juga... (yg notabene ternyata teman gue dari E'97, ketua IME pada masanya :p) terus bareng teman2 gue yg di sini, kita muter2... liat jenis2 apartemen yg dihuni mahasiswa indo di sini and jalan2 ke kota sebentar. cape juga ya ternyata... soalnya kita jalan kaki :D hehe..

jadi ingat pas pertama kali gue sampai di kota ini... suasana yg beda banget...
jadi ingat pinjem hpnya Chris utk sms seseorang (krn hp gue ga cocok sama kartu sini)...
jadi ingat tiap hari punya jadwal jam tertentu buat gantian sama Chris untuk online di YM, just to be able to talk to someone...
jadi ingat senangnya waktu gue tau kalau ada yg mikirin gue... :p
jadi ingat hari2 setelah itu....

hemm.....
ga kerasa gue udah setaun di negeri orang...
some things change... and some do not...
but I guess I change.. for better or worse, that is still the question... ;)

...
Que corazón que no ve
Es corazón que no siente
O corazón que te miente amor
...

(Corazón Partio - Alejandro Sanz)

MERDEKA!!!!!!

17 Agustus tahun empat lima
itu lah hari kemerdekaan kita
hari merdeka, nusa dan bangsa
hari lahirnya bangsa Indonesia
MERDEKA!!
s'kali merdeka tetap merdeka
selama hayat masih dikandung badan
kita tetap sedia, tetap setia
mempertahankan Indonesia
kita tetap sedia, tetap setia
membela negara kita...!!!

(17 Agustus)

ps: correct me if I'm wrong with the lyrics

if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad...
if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad???

(If it makes you happy - Sheryl Crow)

here comes my chaotic and hectic week... :(
hope I can manage everything properly...

ps: For you out there, thanks for the poetry.. It's really nice :) Just a question, is that what you really feel??

pahit

kadang hidup itu pahit... saat kita tahu yang nyata bukanlah yang tampak
kadang hidup itu getir... saat kita tahu yang terasa bukan yang terpancar
kadang hidup itu menakutkan... saat kita hanya bergantung pada seutas benang tipis bernama cinta
kadang hidup itu membingungkan... saat semua hal sudah pada tempatnya, kecuali kita sendiri
kadang hidup itu mencemaskan... saat kita sadar pilihan salah yang telah diambil

tapi hidup terasa membosankan... tanpa ada malunya keliru, sakitnya tertusuk, dan pilunya salah sangka
hidup terasa hambar... tanpa pernah merasakan jantung berhenti berdetak untuk sesaat, satu saat yang terindah dimana dunia ikut berhenti berputar
hidup terasa sepi... tanpa pernah jatuh, terluka dan bangkit lagi
hidup terasa dingin... tanpa rasa sayang, sayang yang kadang tidak disadari telah ada dan menghangatkan hidup, sayang yang tidak mengharap balasan, sayang yang tidak memilih target kasihnya, sayang yang hanya terasa hangat bila satu hati telah terbuka

hal tersulit untuk seorang manusia kecil adalah membuka hati
untuk melihat dengan mata hatinya
untuk mendengar apa yang hanya bisa dirasa
untuk menyentuh yang tak nampak
untuk tahu apa yang tersembunyi
dengan kasih...

Met you once over my lifetime, but I can see that you won't give up on me
I can only say I won't give up on you, not now... not ever...

B'day related pics

31 malem, jalan, makan di kebab, tapi bayar sendiri2 :p hehehe.... gue angkat tangan deh, di sini ga sanggup nraktir orang2 :)


5 hari kemudian, ada rapat mendadak buat ngomongin anak2 indo yang mau datang tahun ajaran baru ini... and... I got a surprise B'day cake :p hehehe... nyam nyam...

MAKASIH ya semuaaaaa!!! ;)

"Linger"

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everythingI swore,
I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?...

(The Cranberries)

soundtrack

eh.. lagunya bukan soundtrack hidup gue loh!! :p
cuma lagi eksperimen pasang lagu ;)
nice music, isn't it??