My Unintended

I'm loosing it... :'(
Never lost a fight before...
Should fight harder...
Keep all the feelings blocked...

But it's harder than I thought it would be...

Complicated should never be an option...

For this option, it's not even close to the worst... It's worst than the worst...!
Still I'm crawling to get my eyes fix on the best choice... one that everyone see as the best..
not an easy things... but I'm trying here...


I opt out my dear.........
so help me God...


I've promised to guard you... keep you safe from harm...
And I shall do that...
Don't know how... with all the feelings that are not supposed to grow...
But I will do as best as I can... to keep my words...

----------------

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

-Unintended by Muse-

blogging with blackberry

Don't know if this works though :p

*background music: James Blunt - goodbye my lover*

why does grass looks greener in the neighbour's yard...
And why do you even want those grass when you have a yard full of nice trees??!!

I've no idea why...
But the man just keep on coming to see and, if nature's being nice, to smell, the grass...

While the grass thinks that it would not fit in with those trees, its curiosity draws it closer...and closer...
And you know what? Curiosity kills!!
Fortunately, the grass knows... So it stays in the neighbour's yard and try to ignore the man, which would be one of the hardest things it has to do in its lifespan...

*background music: Once - aku mau*




**** wish you could stop and let me be ****

still wish...

That you're not you.....


I feel my wings have broken In your hands
I feel the words unspoken Inside
When they pull you under
And I would give you any thing you want
You were all I wanted
All my dreams are falling down
Crawling round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you

I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside
And they pull me under
And I would give you anything you want
You were all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you

All my dreams are on the ground
Crawling' round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't' care how you do it
Just save me, save me
I've made this whole world shine for you
Just save, save
Come on
I'm still waiting for you

Save me by Remy Zero (OST Smallvile)

"My Last Breath"

hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

i'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there

say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me as you fade to black

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight


by Evanescence

Wish...

I wish you're not you...

With all the smile and laugh that I really like..
With your curiosities and questions that make me think about a lot of things..

I wish you're not you...

Who do things on purpose, just to hear me say my silly comments.. and then laugh when I do..
Who got me think about what I'm thinking now.. about life and love..

I wish you're not you...

With your thoughts that struck my mind.. like a thunder in the spring time..
Who makes me see things differently... in a good kind of way..

I wish you're not you...

Who now always come to my mind each time I need a good laugh..

Don't mean to be ungrateful.... but I wish you're not you...
I wish you're someone else.....

but some wishes don't come true because it's just what you've got to deal with now...

pagi ini... hujan...

gue lupa gulung celana jeans waktu turun dari mobil dan jalan ke kantor.. jadi basah deh stengah betis... ga kering2 pula nih... :(
gpp sih.. krn gue suka ujan dan hari ini hujan ga berenti2 sejak pagi... :) senangnyaaaa....
lebih enak lagi kalau hari ini gue ga ada di kantor :p tapi sekarang gue lagi di meja gue di kantor, berkutat dengan blog (eh kerjaan juga lah :p ) plus gue lupa ga bawa jaket.. jadi AC di kantor berasa dingin banget!!! :D

udah lama ga nge-blog.. sedikit lupa cara yg baik utk nge-blog ;)

berharap gue di rumah ni... ada coklat panas... dan buku2 gue yg belum sempat gue baca gara2 pulang malem mulu... plus.. ada biola gue yg baru ;) huehehehe... yup! gue sekarang lagi mencoba belajar biola... artinya mencoba belajar sabar... :p soalnya susah!!! and not to mention costly :)
I wish I'm at home...

met taun baru...

semoga dunia semakin indah untuk semua orang... ;)

end of year means...

deadline for projects...!!!

why does it have to be like that??? pheww...

spare time

Pheeww... almost forgot about this blog.. :p
just a few days ago I talked to a friend and at different occasion to my cousin...
we had the same subject of conversation... TIME...
in a very similar opinion... that when we were still in college or university, we seems to have the whole time in the world... doing loads of things and yet we still have a good rest... time was unlimited... but money was not... ;)
in the contrary, after we're working now... we seem to lost a lot of times... we come home from work and we just too tired to do other things except being lazy in front of the TV and then fall asleep... :p but then, we have no problem with money...
it was so funny when we talked about that.. remembering the old times when we really don't have money even for food :p
you really can't have it all... :)
although I had the experience of having both pleasure in a short time when I studied in Sweden :p hehe...
Got a scholarship which means that I don't need to worry about cash..
Had a lot of time as well beside studying..
miss those days..... a lot!!!
:)

conversation by sms

-----------
Sep 24, 2007 16:31:25
jam brp bu flightnya? mw dines apa jln2? smp bli buku dl, 2 biji pula..
udh, byasa aja ko! tetep inget lo, tp bkn gara2 org tu...

Sep 24, 2007 16:35:03
Ga se-ngeselin g ya? huehehe.. Nanti flight j5.15. Tetep inget g krn apa jdnya? :p maksa ya g?! hehe..

Sep 24, 2007 16:38:38
mgkn.. atau bs jd blm.. hehe.. ya akhir2 ini emg lg inget aja.. :p

Sep 24, 2007 16:39:16
:p tiati, ntar addicted loh!! :p

Sep 24, 2007 16:40:30
ya gpp kan.. slama ga bertepuk sblh tgn..
-------------------

no further explanation.. SOooo unclear.. :p

uncertainty is part of life, somehow...
what will you get if you have everything certain... secure...?
people always think that being secure and certain is what they're looking for...
but in real life... people also committed suicide because they're bored with the security and certainty... (I've lived in a country as such.red)

so what is it that people are looking for??
If I may say..
it's not certainty... nor security...
but peace in the heart that melt all the uncertainty...
it's not certainty... nor security...
but peace in mind that conquer all the insecurity...



Thanks for being so unclear... :p we'll see how it goes... ;)

ga penting...

kayaknya akhir2 ini blog gue isinya ga pentiiiinggg....!!!
berasa terlalu melow :p hehe..

bahkan ga sempat ng-update posting yg ini....
payah deh....!!!

so, mari kita coba dgn berita bergaya lain...

Great News!!
my cousin is going to get married at the end of this month...
my cousin whom I love the most :) not that I don't love the others, but we seems to have a bound since we're just babies :)
So, he will get married and I don't have a clue of the bride... :'(
a bit sad at the sudden news, felt like I've been left out of this one...
but we're grown up... and grown up keeps secret sometimes :)
so, I'm happy for him... hope she is the one for him... and that they'll be happy forever...

Usual News...
just break another heart with my stupidity of being kind but insensitive
another lesson learned, that men are really from mars and women are from venus
My grandma told me that I should NOT reject more than 7 proposal...
counting since junior high??? then I'm doomed!!! :p

Health News...
it's been my usual sickness since junior high... stomach ulcer..
last week was worst... but this week should be better...
so, no worry for now...

Gossip News...
a rumor said that one my (best?) friend didn't get married because her fiance just disappeared couple of weeks before the wedding...
so not true... fact is, she broke up with him for another guy who turns out to be a maniac.. :)

Language News...
start to learn Spanish since 2 weeks ago... :)
still try to remembering all the French grammar... :( difficult if you have no time to practice outside the class..

Pets News...
love my dogs still...!!!!

Friends News...
Either they have babies or they're having ones... :)
My turn will come up eventually :p

Work News...
anyone can give me better offer related to environmental work?? ;)


I guess that's it... waste of my time in the office... ;)

birthday animals....

July 27 - 31 ~ Parasite

If you are a Parasite :
An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool but when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.

Anyone agree with that?? :)


*boring at the office with many things to do and very little mood (read: it's almost weekend boss!!!)*

back to reality

A week has passed
And I seem to be fine...
So was it for real?? Or was I just dreaming?
Was the feeling really exist?? Or was it just there with no intention to stay??
Did I really care about you?? Or was it just because you care so much of me??

Complicated.... should've never be an option.....

So back to reality... and to simplicity... is the best thing I should do...

flu

19 - ga bisa tidur semaleman, padahal badan gue udah berasa ga enak (which means that I should've rested)

20 - berangkat dgn modal tidur sejam, seemed fine at first, sampe kantor baru mulai terasa sakit kepala, terpaksa pulang setengah hari (bo! kerjaan gue banyak padahal.. :'( ), sampe rumah langsung tewas...

21 - masuk kantor, datang pagi... pulang terpaksa lebih malam dari jadwal rutin gara2 ada dinner (since we had our CEO from the other side of the world that day), sampe rumah cuma sempat tidur ±3 jam karena....

22 - jam 4 musti udah bangun, siap2 ke 4 Seasons gara2 ada acara kantor di sana (though I think I looked good this day, skirt for the day?? definitely unusual for me :p ), siang balik ke kantor.. ngejar deadline... demam naik turun... pulang ga terlalu malem, tapi stay up late to work on a presentation which should be done this morning (23/08) BUT was cancelled since we (my team at work) have to work on our reports for the deadline...

23 - hari ini... masih flu.. batuk makin parah.. tapi udah ga panas kooooq :p dan yg pasti... DEADLINE!!!! :'(

so it does.... or does not...

smile faded away on my face...
by the words that you said, I know yours is fading too...
my knees are getting weaker... thank God I'm not standing by you...
for those words will not come out... as I see the pain flickering in your eyes...
.
..
...
....
I guess it's best... for you and I...
for I'm still not sure about my heart
the pain is there of letting you go
but keeping you waiting will hurt me more
we'll see if our path will cross again
where I shall be sure... of you and I...
and I will be strong... for the two of us...


thank u for being honest and being you...

c'est quoi?

warm feeling on my chest when the word emerges...
smile is growing by the presence...
urge, to always see and stay beside...
with no words, just silence... the radiance still exist...

don't know why... don't know how...
such feeling happens...

don't know what...
don't know when...
it's just there unexpectedly...

...
....
.....
....
...

period of games is over..
thus verification is needed..
time will have to spent on it...
just to be sure that this is it..

...
....
.....
....
...

smile faded away on my face...
by the words that you said, I know yours is fading too...
knees too weak to hold this body straight...
even small fraction of water appear in the eyes...
for unknown reason...
for needing time to be sure...
...........
.......
....
..

I'll wait for time to tell that it's really true....

journey

-will be uploaded soon-

Leo

"There is a lot of flirtatious energy around you -- romance is definitely favored."

Do you believe horoscope??
I don't ....
:p

me and my energy

too many things to do...
with so much energy that I have... or so I thought..
gonna drop soon if I don't keep it steady.. :'(

June...

left without a trace or footnote...
........
.....
...
.
...
.....
........
busy month...

the old me...

I was then not like what I am today...

Just 2 days ago, one person made me realize it... not intentionally... but he did...
by the way he is... the way he smiles... the way he sees problems... the way he laughs at me... the simplicity that goes along with the complexity...
I was like him a few years ago... and I miss the old me... :'(

Life has its problems and obstacles that change people...
I didn't believe it then... but now I do...

So now, step by step... I'll try to be me again...
"Me" that I like ;-)


Thanks Adam!!!! ;-)
for the reminder...

D'cinnamons

Never thought it was from Indonesia...
Sound a bit like the Cranbberies... and basically... my kind of musics...
So, I love it!!!

Loving you (by D'cinnamons)

.....

loving you is hurt some times
i am standing here
you just dont buy
i am always there
you just dont feel
you just dont wanna feel
dont wanna heard that word
it doesnt mean i givin up
i wanna give you
more and more and more

.....

appetite for destruction

health destruction... and eventually... pocket destruction... ;)

a bit confusing?
well, for start... I've been eating a lot... and I mean A LOT... since around 2 weeks ago...

2 weeks ago I went to visit my grandmothers and that's when I started to eat double of my regular Indonesia portion (since my portion in Sweden is double than what I have at home... :p so it's Indonesian portion and Swedish portion for me)
Anyway, at first I thought it was because my cousin had promised me that he will take me out on a culinary journey everyday while I was there...
I was there for a week... and after that... the appetite continues...!!

So then, the destruction starts slowly...

More food... less exercise... (I get home a bit late nowadays so I didn't feel like jogging or doing other exercise... sleeping is still the top option on the list.. :p)
Meaning... getting bigger.. (read: fatter - although you might not notice it ;) )
I don't mind about the "bigger", but I do mind that if it continues then I have to start renewing my closet (meaning: new clothes!!!) 'coz they won't fit me anymore...
New clothes... more expenses...
And guess where it will lead you...

Pocket destruction...!! ;)

standardisasi

"Yaa.. karena kami memang bukan wanita standar, gak cocok sama cowok standar.. yang lebih mengutamakan cantik & penampilan yg oke saja "
--quoted from Justin--

I totally agree with her...!!! ;)

If we can't be honest about who we really are to the person who is going to be (or already is) by your side (in a promise to spend the rest of our lives together),
Whom are you going to be honest with??!!

2007-1979

Equal to 28. Right??!

So if you're 28, and you think that you should get married, while the one that is by your side is a person whom you can consider to be a "psycho" (in a term of "banging your head on something if you don't get what you want" kind of psycho...). What will you do.....??
On the other hand, your family and friends are by your side to support you if you're brave enough to leave that person by your own decision. Whom to choose....??

Sound like Oprah Show, right?? :p

Well, Oprah just happened in my life...


..... and the main character has chosen to be with him...
......
....
..
so may God be with her...

gorengan dan batuk

kenapa orang kalau lagi batuk ga boleh makan gorengan n cabe?
katanya sih... karena gorengan itu berminyak banyak... (terus blum tentu minyaknya jernih pula)
kalau cabe sih punya alibi yang meyakinkan... krn kalau makan cabe terus batuk2, sakitnya minta ampuuunnn...
tapi... emangnya kalau makan gorengan ma cabe jadi ga sembuh2 batuknya??!!
hmm... kayaknya gue mesti tanya ke dokter gue nih :p
yg jelas gue udah batuk hampir 2 minggu... belum beres2 juga meskipun gue udah "mengurangi" makan gorengan, cabe n minum es...
berhubung hasil dari pengurangan makanan ga mensukseskan hilangnya batuk gue...
yasud, gue mulai makan gorengan dan cabe lagi :D hehehe...
enak!!! meskipun gue jadi batuk2 ga berenti :p

blue sky

saw the blue sky earlier today...
remind me of Sweden...
ne sais pas pourquoi... :-S
although here, it's always blue... but rarely I enjoy it here...
there, there's always time when I can lay my head upon the grass and just enjoy the blue... :)
miss summertime in Sweden...!!!
:'(

dormir...

Je suis dans mon bureau mais j'ai très sommeil..
Je veux dormir....!! huhuhu...
Mais comment?! Qu'est que je dois faire??

Just the Way you Are

Don't go changing, trying to please me
You never let me down before
I don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I don't want to work that hard
I just want some someone to talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from my heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

(sang by. Barry White)

Hmmm... menyenangkan ya kalau emang kayak gitu...
ga ribet... :)
tapi susahnya,
people always want something that they don't have
so eventually, they'll try to change something that they already have

sol lagi

again...

Pagi ini, gue turun dari mobil tebengan bareng Mia n Ira...
(FYI, karena sandal gue ilang solnya, terpaksa gue pakai sandal lain yg notabene punya higher heels). Kami langsung jalan ke arah kantornya Mia (biasanya gue sarapan di deket situ..)
Baru beberapa langkah...
aduh!! nyangkut lagi nih sandal.. emang tu ya, trotoar di daerah Benhil situ emang ga beres... conblock-nya gujrag gujrug ga jelas...
anyway, gue mulai berhati2 melangkah karena males kesandung n kehilangan sol lagi..

setelah say goodbye ma Ira (dia ga sarapan bareng kita tapi langsung ke kantornya di Mampang), gue terusin jalan bareng Mia..
beberapa langkah jalan (sambil ngomel2 ke Mia gara2 trotoarnya ga beres), tiba2 gue pengin berenti n ngeliat sandal gue....
"Mi, Mi... ntar dulu deh.. sandal gue kok kayaknya aneh..."

TERNYATAAAA....
sol sandal kanan gue udah raib!!!
He?? kemana ilangnya nih!! perasaan masih ada tadi... :p
akhirnya gue ajak Mia menelusuri ulang jalan yang kami lalui tadi (sambil ketawa2 ngga jelas gitu deh... :p)
3/4 going backward, gue nemu sol sandal... (FYI, sol sandal gue itu punya semacam kait, jadi ga di-lem... mekanismenya mirip kancing..)
"Wah Mi, ketemu juga!!! ntar2, gue pasang dulu deh daripada sandal gue rusak..."
gue coba pasang.. hemm.. kok bentuknya aneh ya... dan rasanya ga pas.. :-S
lalu gue coba cek sandal kiri gue... LHO??!! kok bentuknya beda?? masa dalam 3 menit bisa berubah bentuk... :p
"Bukan punya gue nih Mi... cari lagi deh...!!"
full backward trip....
Akhirnya.. ketemu juga sol sandal gue yg asli (dan gue buang tu sol yg salah pungut :p)
Setelah itu, gue berjalan "hati2" alias sebentar2 nengok sandal gue.. takut tiba2 lenyap lagi solnya :p

Good lesson for today:
Brarti bukan cuma gue aja yg kehilangan sol sandal!!! :p
buktinya ada sol yang tidak berpemilik tergeletak di trotoar....
artinya.. memang trotoar di Jakarta makan banyak "korban"
hehehe... :p


Bon Jeudi!!!

sol

habis sarapan pagi (aktivitas reguler) seperti biasa gue menyebrangi jln Sudirman (lewat JPO tentunya) untuk naik bis ke Gatsu.
FYI, jembatan penyeberangan di Benhil itu kondisinya ga beres.. semenan-nya udah lubang di sana-sini.. paku pengikat lantai di rampnya udah copot2...
But as always, itu ga masalah buat gue...
lagi asik menuruni ramp, tiba2 sandal gue seperti kesangkut sedikit. hal normal mengingat lantainya emang udah megap2 gara2 pakunya pada copot.. dengan cueknya gue tetap melangkah... TAPI.... kok tiba2 ada benda kecil hitam yang menggelinding ke bawah ya setelah gue lepas dari sangkutan itu... hmm.. could it be......?? *thinking*
gue terus melangkah turun sampai dapat bus... (masa juga gue berenti untuk ngeliatin benda itu..)
setelah duduk di bus, gue tengok sedikit sandal yg gue pake...
ternyata benar sodara2...!!
benda kecil hitam yg menggelinding itu adalah Sol Sandal gue!!! huhuhu...
*tapi kok tadi gue malah nyengir2 ya.. :p *

jadi hari gue pagi ini diawali dengan hilangnya sol sandal gue....
*mungkin emang harus ganti sandal kali ya.. :p *

Bon Mardi!!

Aceh lagi??

gue diminta ke Aceh lagi untuk ikutan presentasi proyek kemarin...
tadinya ga mau datang karena FYI gue udah gawe di tempat lain...
ternyata...
bos gue yg baru malah ngijinin.. :p hehehe...
emang nasib... mesti balik ke sana... :p
cuma bisa 2 hari... pasti ga bakal ketemu siapa2...
huhuhu...
padahal pengin juga ketemu siapa2... :)

Ringtone Request

(in a phone conversation...)

A : Request donk!!!
me : Apaan??
A : Ringtone buat gue diganti... :P
me : He? Diganti lagu apa??
A : If I ain't got you, Alicia Keys...
me : Hmm.. sepertinya gue ga punya deh...
A : Ya ampuuuuunn...!!! *mencela :p* Bikin yg pas di refrain-nya yaa ;)
me : Yg mana tuh??
A : yg ini...... *singing*
me : Ya ya... tapi ntar2 yaa... :)


....
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
....

(If I ain't got you - Alicia Keys)

2nd day not @work

yep.. I'm home...!!!

Woke up quite early this morning, in the spirit of coming early to work because the train wasn't on time yesterday...

so there I was... all set and ready to go at 5h00 in the morning...
Since my friend (Mia), whom I usually go with to Central of Jakarta for work, is sick today... and since it's raining (not too hard), I changed my plan to go by train... I sms my friend who lives close to my house, and yepp.. he's bringing his car :) So the three of us (add one more of my friend, so it's Aji and Ira and me), we went directly to the highway...
But not so fast... we got delayed for couple of minutes because his friends are also coming with us.. So, there were 5 person in the car now... Off we go...

Entering the highway (but I don't think tol road is a highway since you must pay :p and you don't pay at highways)... driving for a couple of meters... and we stopped... why?? Because... no car can move at that time... It was total jam!! And so we waited there since traffic jam is not unlikely to happen in Jakarta, especially when it's raining... Everyone started to call or send messages to their boss to explain about the situation. I did too... and she said it's okay :)

After an hour, I'm getting hungry and so do the others... but the car's still not moving!!!!
And to add more, there are cars that went on the other direction on our road (they should be on the other road next to ours)... A person walked by (you see, no person can walk by like that if it's a normal situation), he said that sedan can't pass the road because it's flooded.
Other cars behind us started to turn direction... and so did we although we didn't use sedan...

While turning, my boss send an message. She said that it's okay if I can't come to the office today. She just wanted me to send my work by E-mail :)
So, here I am... working... (read: blogging for now.. :D hehe...)
I have sent my work to my boss 2 hours ago but she hasn't replied back (she's the kind of person that is soooooooooo busy).
I was still working before I went on-line to see if my boss has send me E-mail, but then... there's always temptation to blog :D hehe... (I'll work again after this :p)

My brother is home too.. He tried twice to go to his office... but the flood on that road is still high... while other roads are also flooded and full of traffic jams... so only my father is at his office since it's very near my home :p


~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's still raining...
I love it... I love the rain... and I'm happy if it's raining...
Is it okay if I'm happy now because it's raining although people are flooded everywhere in Jakarta?? :-s tricky...

first day @work

sekarang udah lewat jam makan siang...
dan gue mulai mengantuk...
Eia, FYI, kantor gue ini cuma punya 5 orang SDM loh!! *bangga gitu gue... norak deh!!*
kalau dipikir2, jumlah orang di tempat kerja gue makin menyurut ya... (baca: di PCL, di Aceh, skrg di Jkt... :p berkurang mulu, makin sedikit aja teamnya :p)

one lost....

Just lost my dog... one of them... yesterday...
didn't know that I care so much for him until he died :'(
so it was true when people say that you don't know what you've got until it's gone...
biggest and hardest cry that I've ever done in my history of losing pets...

for Bogel...

a loyal guard to the family... my capoeira partner at home...
guess you have fulfil your duty in this world.. a well done job!!!

"sorry for everything that I have or have not done..."
"thank you for the loyalti and the play and little stuff that I do not notice..."
"...rest in peace..."

muterin Jakarta

not exactly like that though...

kami (gue dan sepupu gue) ga muterin Jakarta... tapi kita emang pergi dari rumah pagi2 banget (belum ada matahari)... naik kereta pagi ke sudirman... sarapan di belakang BRI bareng teman gue yang notabene emang pegawai situ :p
terus jalan ke monas (naik busway krn sepupu gue yg udah hampir 4 taon tinggal di serpong tu belum pernah nyobain KRL n Busway :p), muterin monas... took some pictures... istirahat beberapa kali dengan alasan ngambil gambar (padahal capeeee :p)
setelah monas, langsung menuju museum Gajah... rame juga.. banyak yg datang.. barang2 yg dipamerkan lumayan oke, cuma menurut gue penyajiaannya kurang menarik :( jadi inget waktu gue tour di Swedia di museum2 yang isinya "biasa" aja, tapi disajikan dengan cara yang bikin orang jadi bisa berdecak kagum... padahal... kita punya jauuuuuuuuuuhhh lebih banyak dari itu :(

Anyway, udah hampir jam stengah 12, dan kami lapaaaarrrr :D ke Plangi deh... makan junk food (pliissss deehh...). Rencana awal, kami bakal ngubek2 Kwitang, nyari2 buku... tapi gue ngantuk!!! dan gue paling ga bisa diganggu gugat kalau udah ngantuk :D hehe..
so pilihannya adalah pulang.. atau tidur di Kwitang (lho??!!! :p). hehe... akhirnya ngejar transBSD di Ratu Plaza.. begitu duduk di bus.. sepupu gue langsung "menghilang"... tidur dieee... ckk..ckk.. gue?? masih semangat hunting foto2 ga penting (dan emang hasilnya juga ga penting ternyata... cukup singgah sejenak aja di kompi gue sebelum gue delete :p) ga lama gue pun tertidur.. dengan tangan memegang hp, berniat membalas sms seseorang (kayaknya sms ke elo deh rin :p).
pas buka mata lagi udah di BSD deh... :D senangnya... sampai rumah tepat banget waktunya.. krn cuaca udah mendung banget... langit udah mulai gelap :)
so that was our trip to Jakarta :p

and here are some pics...
















(kelihatan ga monasnya?? :p)










(gue ga inget lohh.. ini namanya bunderan apaan yaaa?? :p)











(kalau pagi2 hari kerja, di Monas banyak tentara :p pada olahraga gitu deehh..)



















(jejeran patung di museum Gajah)

weekend kedua di rumah...

capeeee.... kondangan mulu.... :'(
huhuhu....

10 hari di rumah

hmmm...
tanggal 3, di rumah... bangun siang... melepas kangen dengan anak2 gue.. (baca: anjing2 kesayangan)
tanggal 4, cabut dari rumah jam stengah 10, meluncur menuju Pancoran (where hopefully will be my next office... :p amien!!). secara rumah gue jauh dari mana2, begitu udah sampe tengah kota, pastinya ngga mau rugi donk... keluar dari parkiran langsung telp temannya teman gue, yg notabene katanya lagi butuh orang di tempat kerjanya... so, next interview at 5pm. padahal itu masih jam stengah 12... 5 jam lagi untuk dibunuh :p
luckily, sebelumnya gue udah kontak teman gue di salemba, rencana mau ketemuan buat ngasih oleh2 (sebenarnya sih dia nitip... kopi atjech!!) hehe.. jadi lunch time with my old friend from high school deecchh.. (and of course, dia nraktir gue lah... secara dia cowo and hidupnya udah mapan --baca: working permanently at one of the largest bank in Indonesia, one wife and one child :p)
jam 1 siang gue mulai kebingungan mau bunuh waktu dengan cara apa. telp teman2 sejawat (baca: best friends gue yg tinggal deket rumah) untuk ngajakin pulang bareng biar gue ga kena 3in1... dan ditolak bo!! hehe.. ya iya lah.. soalnya itu hari kamis, besoknya hari kerja, dan gue minta mereka nunggu gue interview jam 5... tolong dehh!!
dari salemba (setelah mampir CCF and minta info buat next course), gue jalan ke sudirman. kemana?? kantor lama gue tentunya!! dimana gue bisa ngobrol2 dengan santai.. tanpa rasa sungkan dan malu krn siang2 bukannya kerja malah jalan2 :p hehehe.. jadilah gue berkongkow2 di kantor lama gue sampai jam stengah 4. after that, langsung menuju Jl. Villa (where I had my interview) karena ternyata janji ketemunya bisa dimajuin setengah jam. selesai sebelum jam 6, gue langsung jalan ke Plaza Semanggi... Plan awal adalah, gue menunggu bubaran 3in1 di Plangi bareng ex teman2 kantor lama gue... guess what?? tau kan kalau 3in1 bubaran jam 7 malem?? and you know what... teman2 gue baru datang jam 7 kurang 10 menit!!!!! ckkk..ckk.. tau gitu kan gue ga perlu repot ngajak mereka yg cape2 pulang kantor buat ketemu :p gue bisa mondar mandir di Centro (meskipun itu bakal nguras kantong gue :p) untuk nunggu bubaran 3 in1 :) Tapi nasi sudah jadi bubur... dan gue ga nyesel... :D huehehe.. yaaa... akhirnya dinner bareng deh dan ngobrol2... :p sampe rumah jam 10 malem krn gue baru tau kalau di arteri PI ada pekerjaan jalan yang bikin muaaaceeeeeettttttt :'(
tanggal 5, jalan2 ma nyokap :) hehe... malamnya hang out sama bestfriends gue.. meng-update berita dan gossip2 terkini :)
tanggal 6, di rumah ampe sore... tertidur dengan nyenyaknya dan baru terbangun jam 5 sore.. udah ada 2 sms dari 2 orang yg berbeda di hp... yg satu ngajak nonton... yg satu nanya mau kemana malam itu dan bilang lagi otw rumah gue... terang aja cuma sms pertama gue tanggapin serius, secara yg kedua juga ngga ada di Jakarta (ataupun sekitarnya) dan doyan banget ngerjain gue!! :p so malam itu... akhirnya.... gue tetep ngga jadi nonton!!!! huhuhu... :'( jakarta macet!! sampe PIM, tiketnya udah sold out :'( udah gituuuuu.... dimana2 mesti antri... gile gue mau makan sushi aja ngantreeeee!!! ga jadi deh.. :( gue harus cukup puas dengan foodcourt (makasiiiyy yaa udah mau ngantriin buat gue... )
tanggal 7, acara rutin hari minggu di Gandaria, bertemu teman2 gue.. :p siangnya acara keluarga di Pondok Gede... malamnya... tewas :D
tanggal 8, maunya sih nomat... sayangnya yg pengin nomat sama gue lagi pada nun jauh di mana2 (herrraaaaaann... jadi sebenarnya niat ngga ya ngajakin nomat :p hehe..)
tanggal 9, beres2 kamar... bongkar lemari dan rak2 gue... menyisihkan buku2 yang ngga bakal gue baca lagi :p menyimpan boneka2 gue dalam satu keranjang :p malamnya mencoba buat artikel yang harusnya udah gue bikin dari tahun lalu :'( tetap belum selesai juga... hiksss...
tanggal 10, pinjem motor ade gue buat urusan kecil ke tempat sodara di deket rumah... pheww... untung bisa "home in one piece", secara motornya lebih gede dari gue :p huehehehe... (fyi, I'm quite small and his bike is a Tigi :p). setelah itu jalan ma sodara2 gue... nonton (akhirnyaaaa...!!!!) di PIM, dilanjutin jalan2 ke beberapa toko buku dan Metro (huaaaaaa... kenapa baju itu ngga ada size gue-nya yaaaaa... :'( ), terus makan...
tanggal 11, nganterin ade gue balik ke kantornya setelah jam makan siang... ke Citos untuk membunuh waktu... balik ke kantor ade gue lagi krn dia minta dianterin ke Gambir sore itu :) --makasi yaaaa udah telp2 selama gue menunggu ade gue ngeberesin kerjaannya ;) --
setelah Gambir, off to Setiabudi building :D ada yg mau traktir!! huehehe... and... it's SUSHI time!!! gile gue senang bangetttt!!! Makasi ya Ver....!!! :D ....so last night was girl talk with sushi dishes :D
hari ini, nanti gue mesti anter nyokap ke acara siraman... besok dan lusa... banyak banget kondangan yg harus gue datangin!! :'( huhuhu...
common questions would be "kapan nih undangannya mau diedarin??" or "loe kapan merid??" (which is lebih vulgar dari pertanyaan sebelumnya :p). dan secara gue masih "single fighter", pertanyaan2 itu bisa menohok ulu hati gue.... :'( tapiiiiiiiii... secara ini gue... dan gue banget... tohokannya ngga kena...!!! :D hehehe.. maap yaaaa... bukan gue ga mau diingetin kalau "it's already my time"... tapi semua akan indah pada waktunya..tanpa perlu diburu2..atau dipaksakan ;) ya ngga?? ya ngga?? hehehe...

home sweet home

sudah pulang...
mungkin kembali lagi...
bukan di "wadah" yang sama...
tapi tidak menolak untuk datang lagi ;)

bakal kangen sama Aceh...!!!
kangen sama teman2 baru di sana...
kangen sama adik2 gue yang menemani gue selama di sana (in good or bad, sad or happy, iseng atau jahil... :) definitely going to miss you -all 4 of you- a lot!!!)
kangen sama.... semua hal.. that'll only happen there ;)

Au revoir Aceh... Bienvenue Jakarta ;)

too much

gue pengin mengeluh...
tapi buat apa... emang udah begini jalannya...
gue pengin cerita...
toh ngga ada yg bisa dilakukan...
gue pengin ngomel...
udah cape banget selama ini jadi orang yg selalu ngomel...

bottom line is..... gue pengin pulang.... :'(

"...and I'll be more silence than before..."

deadline....

HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...................

free internet...

@ Perkim... :D
wireless and fast connection... yippiiee!!!
unfortunately, there's only one person that I can chat with :'(
where are you guys......??? :'(

5 hour

to my departed time...
Aceh, here I come again.. ;)

suddenly feel tired...

"thanks... for something that's not there anymore...
know this.... I'm always happy if you are..."
(today @14h**)

at last

I'm home for 10 days...

"Never frown... 'cos you will never know who is falling in love with your smile...."

@ Lampuuk Beach

hehehe... c'est moi....

kangeeeeeeennnn

kangen OL....
kangen nomat, nobu, nosa with you....
kangen bebassss....
kangen bisa libur pas weekend and ga mikirin kerjaan...
kangen jalan2 and hang out with all of you guys!!!
kangen olahrasa...
kangen baca buku dengan tenang...
kangen kamar gue....
kangen MELANN!!!! huhuhuhu.....
kangen dinginnya serpong tanpa perlu pake AC :'(
kangen kangen kangen kangen....
kangen semuanyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
tunggu gue pulang... dan doa'kan di sini lancar yaaaaa... huhuhu....

with friends @Banda Aceh

Some pics...

kapal ini terdampar di tengah kota Banda Aceh karena tsunami (sumpeehh!! gede banget kapalnyaaaa!!)

(tuuuu kaaaaaan... gede banget.. hehe..)

di pantai Ulee Lhe...

sekilas Aceh

jadi engineer??

yep yep... gue udah di Aceh...
Jauh nian dari pulau gue.. hehe...

Sudah berada di sini sejak tanggal 1 Sept 06...
Sudah bertemu rekan2 satu tim...
Sudah menjelajah Banda Aceh, meskipun belum nyobain naik labi2 (baca: angkot) dan becak motor...
Sudah bertemu Okta hari Sabtu dan bertemu Wanda hari minggu malam...
Sudah ke BRR (huhuhu.. hiksss...)
Sudah hampir "terbang" ditiup angin (sumpah bo!! kenceng beneeeerrrr... dan katanya di Bireun lebih parah... huhu...)
Yang pasti sudah mencoba masakan sini... dan menurut gue... ENAK kok!!!!!!
Asumsi bahwa gue bakal kurus selama di Aceh tampaknya harus direvisi... :p

Terima kasih untuk semua yang sudah sabar menerima berita tentang keberangkatan gue yang selalu gue ralat (baca: akhirnya donkkkkk gue berangkat :p hehehe....)
Maaf untuk yang di saat2 terakhir ngajak jalan dan bertemu... tapi bener2 ga bisa euyy... hikss..

Biggest thanks... untuk yang sudah menemani gue sampai gue jadi berangkat... *hugs*

ummmm....

merci beaucoup mon beau...!!! *wink wink*
untuk menunggu... dan menemani...
*hugs*

pour Tika à Paris

Tika...
hari ini gue dikirimin foto loe dan Maïssa oleh Ando...
huhuhu.. gue jadi terharu... :'(
gue ngeliat foto2 itu pas lagi dengerin lagu yg kebetulan gue lagi suka banget...
makin deh... berkaca-kaca... :)
hmm... kapan ya momen itu gue alamin sendiri...
gue bakalan lebih dari berkaca-kaca kali yaa... huhuhu....

so Tik, this is my gift for you and little Maïssa...

Je serai là
(Teri Moïse)

Oublie tes erreurs et tes peurs
Je les efface
A chaque faux pas que tu feras
Je tomberai à ta place
Mon seul plaisir sera de t'offrir une vie idéale
Sans peine et sans mal

{Refrain:}
J'ai découvert qui je suis
Tout a changé le jour où je t'ai donné la vie
Et si jamais le monde t'es trop cruel
Je serai là toujours pour toi

Que tous tes amours soient sûrs
Tes amis sincères
Pour toi un domaine
Où la haine est la seule étrangère

Je ferai un monde où tout ira bien
Tu seras jamais seul tu manqueras de rien

{Refrain}

Je voudrais pouvoir tout savoir
Pour te donner une vision plus claire
De ce mystère que l'on appelle la vie

Mon seul désir sera de t'offrir une vie idéale
Sans peine et sans mal

{Refrain x2}

(et)J'ai découvrt qui je suis
Tout a changer le jour ou je t'ai donné la vie
Et si jamais le monde t'es trop cruel
Je serai là toujours pour toi

macetnya Jakarta...

Hari ini gue cape banget!!
Agenda resmi cuma 1, ketemuan di CCF

Mari dimulai...

Berangkat dari rumah jam 10 pagi n berhubung gue malas menyetir (dan keputusan gue memang tepat!!) gue naik kendaraan umum dari rumah menuju CCF di Salemba. And guess what, gue baru sampe di cafè CCF jam 1 siang!!!! gile bangeeeeeettt!! Dari Ciputat sampai di samping RSCM... maceeeeeeettttt semua!! Huhuhu... Mestinya janjian ketemu jam 11 dan gue telat 2 jam!! (baca: gue sering telat sih, tapi belum pernah separah ini... :'()
Setelah itu ngobrol plus ngadem di CCF sampai jam 2-an (bayangin... gue menuju ke sana 3 jam dan "cuma" ketemuan selama 1 jam...)

Setelah itu menuju ke arah selatan... tadinya mau ke Plaza Semanggi, tapi setelah dipikir2 lagi bakalan parah kalau pulang kesorean (baca: jam pulang kantor daerah Sudirman yg gila2an). Akhirnya kami (karena gue ada yg menemani... thank God!!) langsung melanjutkan perjalanan ke PIM. Dengan asumsi, lebih dekat untuk pulang ke rumah dan macetnya juga ga lama... :)
Sampai di PIM jam 4an sore... ngobrol2 (baca: kami langsung menuju food court dan pesan makanan... hehe.. ternyata macet berdampak pada perut juga...)
Agenda PIM ini lebih baik, karena perjalanan 2 jam dari Salemba terbayar dengan ngobrol2 selama 3 jam di sana :) hehe..
Sampai di rumah pas jam 9 malam... phewww....
Senangnya...!!
Sampai di rumah gue yg sejuk... bertemu Melan yg sedang sakit dan kangen berat sama gue... (pas gue pulang tadi, dia tampak senang sekali bertemu... huhuhu...*terharu*)

Untuk dirimu... ;)
Terima kasih untuk ngobrol2nya hari ini....
untuk kesabarannya mengurai benang kusut....
untuk mendengarkan dan mengungkapkan....
untuk berpanas2 di dalam bis....
untuk menemani gue berjalan kaki....
untuk mengerti kalau "gue masih belum terbiasa (banget) hawa panas Jakarta.. huhuhu..."
DAN....
untuk hari yg melelahkan tapi menyenangkan ini...

I'm glad..

'coz you're back... ;)
*deep hugs*

Kebun Raya Bogor

"Sen... gue bete nih...!! long weekend ga bisa kemana2... ga jadi ke Bandung, ga bisa ngapa2in...!!"
"Hmm... ke Kebun Raya yuks!"
"Boleh.....boleh.... :D "

So, we were there at Kebun Raya Bogor ;) -me, Veri, Lisbeth 'n Alex-
from 11h00 until 16h00 (means that I left home at around 09h00)
then we continued the trip to Monas :D
back home at almost 23h00
hehehe...
judulnya jalan2 seharian bo!!!
Dan pulang sampe rumah (seperti biasa) sedikit diomelin :p hehe..

Sedikit bukti perjalanan kami...

MERDEKA!!!!!!

....
hari lahirnya bangsa Indonesia...
M E R D E K A!!!!
....

(17 Agustus)

uno día

...

Ay amor,
me duele tanto... me duele tanto...

...

(La tortura - Shakira)

cette nuit

tu n'es plus là...
mais j'ai tes mémoires... pour toujours...
je ne vais pas les oublier...
merci pour toi!!! ;)

Tu

....
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
.....

(Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette)


Je ne sais pas pourquoi... Je sais justement que j'aime bien si tu es là
Même si je sais que tu ne seras pas toujours là

I'll wait...

Waiting is such a boring activity...
"Waiting is not so nice!"
for any kind of things to be waited, that rule still apply..
Waiting for: Explanation... work... person... call... sms... E-mail... news... etc.
Especially when we really need to know... about something or someone or even situation...
Waiting in uncertainty is the worst...
Waiting in confussion is not a better thing...
I don't really like waiting although sometimes I don't mind if I have to do it.

Yesterday, I waited... several things only from one person: sms, certainty of an appointment, news about well-being, a call... and guess what... nothing!!
Then I remember, I had failed our appointment several times... I had kept him waiting many times... and he didn't mind... :)
Well, I didn't exactly feel upset about the waiting... worry is more suitable word for what I felt...
So if I felt that, he probably felt the same when he was waiting for me... (doubt it though :p coz I'm far from capable to take care of myself...)

Hmm... *hesitating*
Hope it's not too late ;)
Thanks for the waiting... Sorry for the troubles...

idle

Lagi OL aja...
Cuma chat, krn tadi pagi udah OL utk cek imel...
Menunggu kepastian keberangkatan gue ke pulau seberang yang ternyata tertunda2 dengan berbagai alasan yg menurut gue kadang2 ngga jelas!!! Huhuhuhu.... :'(
Biarpun begitu... kalau kata orang jawa seh... itu murih becik'e.... emang udah yg terbaik...
Gue bisa lebih lama di rumah...
Lebih lama merawat Melan dan Stela dan Cokie dan Bogel...
Btw, Melan juga lagi menemani gue OL nih... :p hehehe.. tertidur di samping kursi gue... :)
Sore ini mendung... tadi sempat gerimis...
Hari ini mestinya bisa nobu (baca: nonton rabu), tapi berhubung yang biasa diajak nosa dan nobu punya acara lain... ga jadi deh... :'( padahal acara lainnya itu juga ternyata ngga jadi... Huhuhu... Tapi waktunya emang udah ngga cukup sih..
Jadi ya sudah.. di rumah saja... memandikan Melan dan Stela, membersihkan rumah mereka (padahal kamar gue masih berantakan juga), bermain2 dengan kamera berlensa tele :p... akhirnya chatting deh...

di kantor hari ini

jam 20.00
menu makan malam setelah rapat koordinasi:

bahan2:
semangkok telur - dikocok
sepiring tepung terigu
air secukupnya

cara memasak:
tuangkan telor perlahan2 pada tempat yg telah disediakan
lanjutkan dengan menuangkan tepung terigu
tunggu reaksi yang terjadi....

hasil:
Rose siap untuk dimasukkan ke dalam oven!!!


Huhuhuhuhu.... Hikss..hiksss....
Masa sehhh?!!! Gue!! Udah umur berapa nih!!
Masih aja kena dikerjain pake telor dan tepung terigu...
HUAAAA... sama orang2 kantor pulaaaaaa....
HERRRAAAANNN!!!!

Tapi ga papa sih...
tandanya banyak orang yang sayang dan perhatian sama gue!!!
Huehehe... :P

C'est moi....

It's me...

et c'est mon jour!!! ;)
and it's my day!!! ;)

Merci beaucoup pour toi...
Thank you so much for you...

qui m'a chuchoté le première message quand je dormais
who "whisphered" the first message when I was asleep
.... et après, m'a appellé jusqu'à toujours :p
.... and after, called me until forever :p

qui m'a appellé
who called

qui m'a envoyé des messages par sms ou E-mail ou "Friendster"
who sent messages by sms or email or Friendster

qui me rappele toujours bien que tu sois loin ;)
who always remember me although you're so far away ;)


Merci!!!! Je vous aime!!!

Falling in Love again

Soundtrack blog gue untuk sementara waktu ini...
starts from today ;)
Lyrics?? here you go...!!

Funny thing is...
After I put this song here, I visited Chris's blog
And you know what??? :D
Check it for yourself... *wink wink*

......

So I guess,
beside it's ability to join forces and do great amazing things,
Leo's people......
can be thinking about the same thing also... :D

huehehe....
Miss you Chris!!!

Bersawah di Pasir Mukti, Bogor

Acara ulang tahun Pamiwahan Putera Pangestu bulan Juli 2006
Harusnya sih yang bersenang2 para adik2 asuhanku...
tapi.... ga papa donk kalau pengasuhnya ikut bergulung lumpur!!
huehehe...
So, here we go...

[Ros menanam padi...]


[balok kesetimbangan dgn rintangan berat]

[dan terjatuhlah....]

[tarik tambang lumpur]

Göteborg

kangen capoeiraaaaa...
kangen hang out pas weekend...
kangen duduk2 di taman sambil menikmati matahari...
kangen lari2 ngejar tram krn telat bangun...
kangen ketemu Simon di .... (astaga!! gue lupa namanyaaaa)... oiya, di Korsvägen :)
kangen goncengan naik sepeda sama Kostia...
kangen minum kopi dan makan cake bareng Stéph dan Jenny...
kangen bercanda sama Vasilis dan Yaser...
kangen dimintain tolong sama Hector, tetangga apartemen, cowo yang bisa juga jadi loyal ke temannya meskipun selalu minta tolong supaya ga ketauan nge2in (atau 3 atau 4 ya :p) cewe...
kangen diajarin spanyol sama Alex dan mengganggu dirinya yg sangat baik hati itu...
kangen main ke tempat kak Ida dan makan2 enak di sana....
kangen ngetok kamarnya Chris trus cerita2 sampai lupa waktu...
kangen ngajak tante makan siang mendadak...
kangen masak bareng Pipit dan diprotes mas Indra...
kangen barbecue sama mas Kompiang dan mba Kadek...
kangen renang gratis di Studenthem...
kangen teh susu buatan Erlang...
kangen jalan2 sama Nimbus pas salju turun...
kangen makan kebab bareng Chris meskipun kita tau lagi bokek berat dan ga mampu beli kebab :D
kangen Afterwork tiap jumat... free food for 1 glass of drink...
kangen belanja2 ke Brunnsparken...
kangen big hugs dari teman2 gue di sana...

hari ini.... gue kangen Göteborg...
Göteborg waktu gue masih di sana krn sekarang teman2 gue juga udah banyak yang ngga tinggal di sana lagi... Hiksss...

hari ini

setaon yang lalu... 21 Juli 2005
gue duduk sendirian di apartemen kecil gue.. menatap komputer gue.. surfing ke blog Rani dan menemukan website ini.. dan lalu mulailah gue iseng mencoba ;)
membatalkan latian capoeira gue untuk acara dinner sama ex ibu kost gue di rumahnya (dinner sekalian pelatihan buat jadi pelayan utk acara merid anaknya :p huehehe... anything for the money... hehe :p )

dua taon yang lalu... sekitar juli 2004
gue lagi dekat dengan seseorang gara2 kejahilan gue mengganggu dirinya :p
muter2 cari Euro bareng (his charity for my benefit :p), nganterin gue cari sepatu, nemenin gue ditraktir :p pokoknya had so much fun together ;) didn't we?? :)

tiga taon yang lalu...
ngga begitu inget sih... ngga ada catatan ataupun log apapun...
yg berarti.. ga ada yg spesial (except for my B'day, of course!). palingan gue sibuk di kantor :) hehe..

empat taon yang lalu... dan seterusnya...
masa2 penuh intrik dan kebodohan2 :)
yang mestinya sih gue ingat dan gue ambil pelajarannya supaya ngga terulang lagi...
tapi.... hemm... susah juga untuk diingat... (short memory capacity mode: ON)

terusss.......
kenapa gue mengingat2 hari ini di taon2 lalu?? or at least bulan ini...??

pertama, krn ultah gue di bulan ini ;) jadi buat yg lupaaaa... CATAT!!! :D

kedua, krn banyak cerita yg dimulai bulan ini... banyak?? :p hueuehee.. plisss deh... (exagerating mode:ON)

ketiga, krn banyak cerita yg berakhir di bulan ini... (exagerating mode:OFF)

keempat, karenaaaaaa.....
bulan ini biasanya gue merasa banyak banget orang yang sayang sama gue....!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 14, 2006.... A memory...

01:16 pm
Love you more for today...!!!

By just being there for 5 minutes with the books... with the smile... and with your tired eyes (since you haven't slept since yesterday).

I come to the point to understand that I actually don't want anyone else to carry my burden, but just to have someone to be by my side ;)
even if they're not talking and just being there in silence :)

and you said, "love me more (only) for today?! poor me :'( "

Huehehe.... :D

I said, "Not a chance my friend... love you more everyday... just like you said"

Thanks for your nice companion lately and for saving each other days everytime!!! ;)

cute flower...

Hemmmm....
Yes, I know....
HE loves me for sure ;)
Anyone else? :p *wink wink*

heaven and earth

man: "God, I have this opportunity here.. Not exactly what I want, but still is an opportunity for me to choose... What should I do? Move it closer to me please, if it's the right one"
God: "......."
man: "It's getting close... should I take it or not, with all that hesitation that I feel??"
God: "......."
man: "Please God.... Just give me some signs!!"
God: "......."
man: "Ok, now I get another opportunity... Is that a sign from You or not??!!!"
God: "......."
man: "Getting more of that hesitation here... hallooooo??"
God: "......."

* All the choices and opportunities are out there for you, pick one and you've chosen your path
* Confusions happen sometimes :) But it's yours to decide. Beside, it's you who have to live your life anyway ;)
* Don't expect Him to give all the obvious clue for you. Work for one!! But don't just jump into conclusion (read: thoughtless one, by the way)
* From my language: Yen wania ing gampang, wedia ing ewuh... Samubarang ora bakal tumeko
* Donc, Bonne chance!!

no me ames...

World Cup 2006

one sms:
----------------------------
Italy goes to final honey ;p
From : D***B****
4:33am 5/7/06
----------------------------

one very good news when I woke up today ;)
thanks for the sms!!!! ^_^ and the "early morning" chat before that... ;)

will tomorrow be

just another day.....??

or will it be

a big turn upon your whole life....??

....
.....
......
........
..........
.............

I'd say.....

whatever will be... will just gonna be...

* For a friend...

......
My mama said,

You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes
......

(You Can't Hurry Love - Phil Collins)

... on your uncertainty

sayang itu...

yang tulus dari hati...
yang terucap tanpa diminta...
yang terasakan tanpa batasan...
yang terpancar menghangatkan batin...
yang memberi tanpa mengharap kembali...

bukan hanya terurai oleh kata...
bukan terjadi karena diharuskan...
bukan hanya kewajiban dari suatu ikatan...
bukan pula yang takut-takut untuk menunjukkan...

* untuk seseorang... Who oncE care so much for me... although you're in A position of "only frienD"
thank you so much...!!!
for letting me understand that if you truly care, it will be on the air around you...
for letting me feel the struck of warm electricity when you only asked how I'm doing...
miss u...

happiness arrives

by mean of different things... different person... different situation...
on a time when you least expected
on a place where it's unlikely to occur
it comes...

and you just have to be grateful that it does...

PS. Thanks for everyone who allows yourself to smile while I was around. That's my biggest source of happiness, to be able to make you smile ...

one week at Yogyakarta as a volunteer...

..............................
.........................
....................
...............
...........
.......
....
..
.
It doesn't make you a hero...

kriiingg...

received calls:
+6221...
1:13am 27/5/06
00:06:55

"lagi ngapain??"
"lagi tidur. kenapa?"
"ngga papa. mau bangunin aja..."
"gue ga mau buka mata neh... mau tidurrrr... capee"
"ya udah gue tunggu sampe loe buka mata"
"iseng amat sih.. gue tidur lagi yaaa...."
"iya...."

* dialog yg sedikit dipersingkat (karena agak lupa detailnya-red), tanpa mengubah inti percakapan

Meaningless conversation??
* the content of the conversation -- not important
* the time of call -- very disturbing
* the reason of calling:
1. just to hear the voice --> very meaningful and kind of sweet
2. just for fun --> completely meaningless
3. emergency call --> not likely, see point "content of conv."

conclusion???
.....

earthquake

This morning at Yogyakarta and around....

Let's pray for the victims...
and help them in any way with the strength that we have...

Je vous present...

MELAN ....

for the ones whom I care a lot...

....
I thought I could live in your world
As years all went by
With all the voices I've heard
Something has died
....
Don't Cry (alt lyrics) - Guns N' Roses

Love hurts, Love scars, Love wounds' and mars
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
....
Love Hurt - Nazareth

"Never fear 'cause He's here to answer your query
Don't shed a tear for He shall heal the injured"

night out

abis jalan sama "lulusan" kantor lama gue plus satu orang yg masih kerja di sana :D
ga jauh2, cuma makan aja... tapi menentukan tempatnya itu loohhh...
berangkat dari rumah jam 5 sore (jemput Rina dulu di Citos, trus ke Kuningan ketemu yg lain), baru mendarat di "restoran" Menteng jam stengah 9 malem :p
susah juga ya kalau dari awal belum dipastikan mau kemana
untung sopir kita baik :p hehe... thanks ya Lex!!
pulangnya mampir Setiabudi building dulu.. ke parkirannya maksud gue :D
soalnya mobil gue ditaroh di situ, secara (ampun deh gue.. ketularan gaya ngomong "secara" gini.. :p ), sekali lagi, secara kita cuma ber-5, jadi ga efektif banget plus buang2 bensin kalau pake dua mobil. selain itu, alasan terpenting adalah... ga bisa saling mencela!! huehehe..
senang juga......
udah pada "mapan" nih sejak lulus dari kantor lama :D berarti tinggal gue donk..
ayo semangat!! semangat!! :D

well, it was a nice meeting ;) and I guess we'll meet again soon.. for another treat...
next would be... movies and sea food... my favorite ;)

...

kemarin Macan kembali bertunggal dengan penciptanya
jam 15.00 di RSH Ragunan :'(
cek darahnya menunjukkan kalau dia kekurangan darah merah...
malamnya, dia dijemput untuk dikuburkan di makam keluarga (samping rumah-red)
malam itu juga Melan diperiksa di RSH dengan gejala sama yaitu muntah2 dan diare
dokter bilang dia pucat sekali.. hasil cek darahnya sama dengan Macan: anemia
gara2 apa?? ternyata gara2 CACING TAMBANG!!!
kayaknya satu rumah mesti pembasmian cacing nih...
ga cuma hewan peliharaan, tapi yg punya juga :)
anyway, Melan masih bertahan...
hopefully she'll survive...

je suis triste...

siang tadi, si item kecil mati... :'(
sakit sejak hari jumat kemarin...
sempat terlihat sehat, tapi pada akhirnya tetap ngga mau makan... :'(
but she died like she was asleep...
I guess her duties in this world had been fulfilled

macan juga sakit, nyusul adiknya...
sampai saat ini si macan juga masih lemah, ngga mau makan...
coklat-putih dan si hitam udah diadopsi orang kemarin...
jadi sekarang melan sendirian di luar...
ada stela dan memey sih, tapi tetap aja sepi tanpa saudara2nya...

hikss...
je suis vraiment triste...
apalagi tadi abis liat video waktu mereka masih lengkap...
hueee...
wis..wis.. gue sign off dulu aja :'(

greatest sense of humour

tonight someone reminded me
about who has the greatest sense of humour...
who can makes us laugh not only at that moment, but long after that
who can makes a very simple joke seems complicated at a time
who can makes you spend years and more years to understand the jokes
who knows that the jokes won't be funny for you unless you have a very big heart to understand them, and despite that knowledge, still plants the jokes everywhere at any time

but still.. the jokes continue... and the humour spreads...

for a friend...
whom I have not talked to, in such a way as tonight, for a very long time...
thanks for the reminder that the Highest Power has a truly great taste of humour

Girl from Mars

Do you remember the time I knew a Girl From Mars?
I don't know if you knew that
...
.....
...
Today I sleep in the chair by the window,
It felt as if you’d returned
I thought that you were standing over me,
When I woke there was no-one there
I still love you, girl from.. Mars
...
...

by: Ash

just a blast from the past that I watch today on a music channel in television...
one of many soundtracks of my life

1 down, 4 more to go...

(since one of the 6 should be ours.. :p)














there he goes... my little brown puppy...
hope you're with a nice family that loves you...

little things with paws...

cute but fierce
adorable but unpredictable