change

...

It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things that seem still are still changing

...


-Still (reprise) by Ben Folds

spending 29

if I'm blessed to reach the day, then I'll be ending my 20's being sick.. :D
got thypoid just last week..
got doctor's order to rest... bed rest.. (how do you think that sounds for me and my whole activities.. totally not good!)
when I felt that I was better, the doctor gave another look.. and yes, I still need that rest for another week! :(

wait.. I'm not complaining here.. (well, maybe just a little bit? :p)
I'm happy that I can have some rest... and it's actually in a good moment where I have completed most of my tasks at the office
but staying in bed and doing nothing is just out of the question...
luckily, nowadays I have lots of means to do something... not like 14 years ago when I got this sickness.. and blogging while you're sick is not forbidden, right?? :p

so... the number is growing in just a few days... I should feel old... but I don't... (LOL)
Or maybe I should start to feel that?? in a way it can make you wiser... well, only for some people though :))

and what have I done in my almost 30 years lifetime??
I think I was a good person....sometime... :))
I think I've made lots of people laugh... (it should be a good thing, right?)

but I've been bad and a jerk as well...
I've broken so many hearts (I really am sorry for that...)... although I was also broken lots of times, but it does not compensate...
I've disappointed some people.. (I think my mom is on top of the list, but I know she's proud of me at the same time. I can't understand how it works, actually.. but maybe I will someday..)
I've made people angry, created chaos, got into a real deep trouble that only God can help (and He did), confused people with my decision... and the list can continue forever...!!

Hmm.. not so good after all... :))
Well, I just hope that I've been a good influence for some, a good memory for some others, a smile for the rest...
And if I've touched any in a bad way that they dislike, please accept my sincere apologies.. never meant to cause anyone harms, but I may have did that...

Let's see if I can do better...
if God is sparing me more times to be a better person...
we'll see... :)

what is going on here...??!?!

What you get when you can't sleep...
Strange conversation with "old" friend from Grad school...

TAK!!! says:
so where r u living now?
RP says:
still in Jakarta
RP says:
you're in mexico city, right?
TAK!!! says:
yeah
RP says:
and you're married now, right?
RP says:
i think i heard that from Hector
TAK!!! says:
well.... yeah
TAK!!! says:
but about to divorce
RP says:
what??
RP says:
i'm not even married yet
TAK!!! says:
lol i wish i wasnt


they've only been married for 11 months... 11 MONTHS!!!
goossh...

Presidential election day 2009

Nope.. I won't be talking about the election process or result here... :p
Everyone has their own opinion and much of those are already in the news
I myself have my own opinion, which fortunately would not be shared here... :)

This election day is a kind of tradition for me and my childhood friends...
Many of our parents still live in the same housing complex and many of us are still administratively registered there, so when it comes to election day, everyone from everywhere will go home to vote (or to have a vacation :p ) and basically will meet everyone else that's there to vote..
A kind of reunion.. where we usually gather at our old elementary school area (as the election usually takes place there...), have some "old" meals that we used to take during daily school break and chat of the old days... then go to some other place together to "continue" the laughs :p
Although with the growing years, we have less and less people that can gather in the "reunion", but it's still a fun thing to do...

Yesterday's reunion was only with 6 people. We went to see a movie (Ice Age 3) and wound up waiting for 4 hours at SMS because the previous schedule for the movie is fully booked... still fun though...
and the laughs continued during the whole movie as well... :D

hope we'll still able to gather and have this reunion again.. 5 years from now...

validation please...

Akhirnyaaa....!!
kekirim juga final revisi untuk technical review...
eh tapi belum final deng, masih nunggu comment lanjutan..
and then to the next stage of technical review...
and then... let's submit the project for validation!! ;)
cross my fingers that the process will be quick and no major comments from the DOE
after that.. hoping the EB to accept everything (unlikely though.. at least not without comments) and get it registered..!!

pheeeww... that would be a long way to go...
some of you might not know what it is about...
well, it's my work... the one I put my biggest effort into for now...
it's the world of CDM.. a never-ending story of the world and environment... ;)

Nice Beat

I wanna ask you -
Do you ever sit and wonder,
It's so strange
That we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care
What goes on in the other one's head?

Things I've felt but I've never said
You said things that I never said
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago:

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

You could have just propped me up on the table like a mannequin
Or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me)
Any face that you wanted me
To be seen.
We're
Damned by the existential moment where
We saw the couple in the coma and
It was we were the cliché,
But we carried on anyway.

So, sure, I could just close my eyes.
Yeah, sure, trace and memorize,
But can you go back once you know

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)

You don't know me at all (at all)
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me

If I'm the person that you think I am (Ah ah ahh)
Clueless chump you seem to think I am (Ah ah ahhh)
So easily led astray,
An errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash, then
Why the f**k would you want me back?

Maybe it's because

(You don't know me at all)
(You don't know me, you don't know me.)

So, what I'm trying to say is
What (What?)
I'm trying to tell you
It's not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you'll only change it.
(Say it.)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

What?



--You don't know me--
by Ben Folds, feat. Regina Spektor

home alone 1

Kevin : Why don't you call your son if you miss him?
Old man : We had a big fight and I'm afraid that he doesn't want to speak to me again
Kevin : Well I think you should call him
Old man : And what if he doesn't want to talk to me?
Kevin : Then at least you know that and you won't be afraid anymore...

Basically...
It's how brave you are to face others...no matter how hard and difficult the situation... If you truly believe, then you have nothing to be afraid of...
And if what happens is exactly the thing that you are afraid of, then at least you know... And you can stop being afraid (since it happens already)... And find a way to cope with it... Better than being afraid of your own thought, right?!!

Why is this posting?
Because I admit that I'm afraid to do something for I may loose... But I was reminded today that the important thing is that you try...that you give your best effort...and that all the result is up to Him who owns this world...
So, I'll try... Though I may need a little more time to gather the courage, but I'm sure it'll all be okay in the end...

"Don't be afraid of giving, and love might just begin"
(from a song, my childhood song, forget the title though..)

menunggu air mendidih

My life is not perfect.. I know...
My love life is far from perfect.. I also know...
I'm not even close to perfect.. I know that perfectly...
But I would never trade my life with someone else's
I would refuse to experience other's love life
And I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me

Walaupun sekarang sering sakit-sakitan ga jelas, tapi harus semangat!!! ;) ya ga??

Everyone has their own things to deal with, their experience to help them, their friends and family to be happy with, their memories to hold on, their wishes to be granted, their mistakes to be forgiven... And I think everyone also has their faith to God that keeps them sane...

Mulai melantur...
dan airnya sudah mendidih sekarang..

apprendre le français

je dois apprendre le français plus fort, surtout d'ecouter.... :(
quelqu'un veut de m'aider??

seriously (not) joking

Midnite conversation:

+ : Would you like to grow old with me? :)
- : Emang kamu bisa tua? Perasaan dr dl cm segitu2 aja. :-p
+ : Bisa... Bisa tua, makin pelupa, makin nyebelin juga, makin jelek, n bisa jd sakit2an.. :p jadi gmn?
- : Ya gmn lg? Udah mentok.. :-*
+ : Mentok apanya?? :p
- : Mentok cintenye ame eneng ocha.. :-p
+ : Duuuh... Jadi malu aye baca smsnya... :p


That's how it is when you can't sleep... :p
it's a serious conversation after all...
And I bet he's asleep now.. :p

Message 76

Just a few minutes after you left the house...

Kamu tau ga kalo aku sayang bgt sama kamu?!
From: 0813xxxxxx23
9:19 pm 24/5/09

and I asked.. "why do you ask?"
you said.. "because I just want to say it"
then I said.. "it's not because of X-Box or Kawasaki, is it?!?!"
and you laughed... :))
so I said, "nope, you still can't have them for now honey" with a big grin on my face..

I know... it's not because of those...
and the answer is "yes"
because you showed it to me when we said goodbye near the carport..
you had that look in your eyes...
a kind of look that I've been able to avoid all these times for I was not able to return it with all my heart..

but there you were with that look in your eyes...
a look that I now can return gladly...

so the answer is "yes"

-----

and it's true

have you heard that "curiosity kills"???

I have...

I know that it hurts sometimes when you know something that's not as expected
I know that it will make your brows raised for something that you never know it exists
but...
I didn't know that it really can kill...

So curiosity just killed a part of my heart.. for something I may not suppose to know..
but it's something that is actually good to know...
to keep you in balance...
to keep you on track and not being carried away...
to keep you sane when you think you're already sane...

I know now...
and now I pray...
please make my curiosity a good way of finding my way...
to walk on this earth... to stay close to You...
and to come home to You someday...

I have made my promise to him... so please let me keep it...
please show me what should be done... anything but to break the promise...
let me stay with him... until You say I should not be...

21 Oktober

Wah.. ternyata tanggal 21... hihihi.. bener ga ya??
happy belated anniversary honey!!
it's 6 months already.. :p
felt like 13 years though ;)

patient

je compte le jours de se réveiller à côte de toi...
tous les jours...
je sais que maintenant tu fais la même...

downhill

harusnya excited ya...
tapi sedang tidak bersemangat nii...
perlu liburan.... :'(

A walk to remember...

3 July 1996 was the first call..
coming of nowhere, with so little conversation.. It was during holidays between school term and I was at home..

31 July 1996 was the first time you said it...
after lots of long distance phone calls... and I did call you back actually... just once though :p

.... then it's black..
.... I was with my life and you're with yours..

12 June 1999 was a memorable mistake?? Was not supposed to take place anyhow, and it did..
but somehow it becomes sweeter as time goes by..
(I did visited your city that year and we went out with the guys as well.. don't remember, do you? Actually.. me neither.. 'till I read it again.. :p)

.... another blackout..
.... no call, no news, not even a simple "hi"..
.... You with yours, I with mine..

first quarter 2007 was another time...
when you came and went away (again).. no traces of yet another existence of you in my heart.. (I did try to wipe it all.. and I managed that smoothly since I've forgotten those days were there.. -- you hated that I forgot about it, didn't you? Well, it's my defense mechanism that is trained for years.. but I remember those now ;) hmm... at least some... :p)

then 2008 came.. and so were you... just right in the middle of it..
brought back the good times and the bad memories...

you said you'd stayed...
and you're still here now..
so I hope you'll still be here..
and that "someday" will come for us..

-----------------

As days go by and fade to nights
I still question why you left
I wonder how it didn't work out
but now you're gone and memories all I have for now
but no it's not over
we'll get older we'll get over
we'll live to see the day that I hope for

come back to me
I still believe that
we'll get it right again
we'll come back to life again
we won't say another goodbye again
you'll live forever with me

Someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together

I heard someday
might be today
mysteries of destinies
they are somehow
and are someway for all we know
they come tomorrow

for today my eyes are open
my arms are raised for your embrace
my hands are here to mend what is broken
to feel again to walk on the face
I believe there is more to life
oh I love you much more than life itself
I believe I can change your mind
revive what is dying inside

And someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together
we'll be together
we'll be together
someday

-Some day by John Legend-

alasan!!

Kamu semua alasan atas segala keputusan..
Aku mau kamu tau itu sayang..
Luv u.. :-*

From: +62813**33**23
12:19 am 29/3/09


let it be a best decision for us then... :-*

to be or not to be?

we'll make it through...
doesn't matter how long it'll take...
I'll stay by your side, until you don't want me there...


Je vais rester jusqu'a qu'il n'a plus besoin de ça

sayap patah

rasanya ada yg patah ni sayapnya...
padahal baru satu aja yg lagi berusaha diberesin...
satu tapi baseline sih... :(

seems like falling to the ground...


*don't like being weak*

Kisah Romantis

Mengejar dirimu
Takkan ada habisnya
Membuat diriku menggila

Bila hati ini
Menjatuhkan pilihan
Apapun akan kulewati

Hari ini sayang
Sangat penting bagiku
Kau jawaban yang aku cari

Kisah hari ini kan kubagi denganmu
Dengarlah sayang kali ini
Permintaanku padamu

Reff :
Dan dengarlah sayangku
Aku mohon kau menikah denganku
Ya hiduplah dengan ku
Berbagi kisah hidup berdua
(Habiskan sisa hidup)
(Menikahlah denganku)

Cincin ini sayang
Terukirkan namamu
Begitu juga di hatiku..

Hujan warna-warni
Kata orang tak mungkin
Namun itu mungkin bagiku
Sebuah tanda cintaku..


OST. Cinta Silver (by Glenn Fredly)