the butterfly effect

It has been said that something as small as the flutter of butterfly's wing
can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world
(Chaos Theory, The Butterfly Effect Epilog)

I'm supposed to be working on my data now... BUT.. at lunch time.. since I'm home working with it, I ate lunch while watching movie ;) this Butterly Effect movie.. I know.. I know... it's an old movie :p but STILL I like Ashton Kutcher and I haven't had time to watch it before ;)
And now... I am totally distracted from my data.. :((
Anyway... I knew already that whatever I say or do at this moment will affect my tomorrow (or next minute), but this movie kind of showed me extreme examples of the effects and remind me that those things can happen sometimes...

A friend talked to me last night.. he said something that made me said "Did I do anything to cause that??" He answered me with "NO!!!". So either you didn't do anything or you did something, it will lead to one thing... the unexpected... ;)

Now... I need to get back to work... just realising one important thing here.. If I don't start working hard, how the hell am I going to be able to go home as "expected".... ;)

akhirnya...

selesai sudah waktu gue untuk bersenang-senang (baca: kerja part time membanting tulang buat bayar bill akibat keborosan gue :D ), sekarang saatnya untuk kembali berkonsentrasi ke tujuan utama gue ke sini... belajar biar pinteeerrr... hehe.. (baca: pinter cari duit.. hehe)
gimana gue mau pulang cepet kalau thesisnya masih jalan di tempat kayak gini :(( hikksss....

setaon yg lalu... kata Twinny... gue ketemu dia di sudirman ekspress bawa2 blue print PIM2 :p bukan blue print seh... cuma rancangan sistem parkir dan manajemen lalu lintas di dalam PIM dan sekitarnya. Dan gue denger kalau PIM2 udah jadi ya?? terus kata teman gue di kantor... rancangan gue dipake :p ckkk..ckk... sebelumnya gue minta maaf kalau ternyata manajemen lalu lintas yang gue rekomendasikan tidak sesuai dengan harapan para pembaca... :D hehe... atau mungkin nanti pas gue pulang dan jalan ke PIM gue bakal ngomel2 sendiri menjalani hasil rancangan gue... ;)

hari ini gue bisa santai2 di rumah.. just me and my shadow ;) tapi heran!!! giliran gue di rumah dan online sepanjang masa.. kok orang2 ga pada online seeehhhhh... :(( sedihnya diriku...

My forecaster said this:

You can't justify all your actions, especially if the results speak so eloquently for themselves.
If you committed an error, admit it without any fuss and dissembling, and it'll be over before you know it.

Why do I put it here?? Because the last phrase is mine... I mean, not that it is patent by my name, but... I use it quite many times ;)

It'll be over before you know it...

one hectic week had passed...
but here comes another hectic week... :(

udah setaon

tadi siang gue kebagian tugas jemput salah satu mahasiswa baru yg bakalan kuliah di Chalmers juga... (yg notabene ternyata teman gue dari E'97, ketua IME pada masanya :p) terus bareng teman2 gue yg di sini, kita muter2... liat jenis2 apartemen yg dihuni mahasiswa indo di sini and jalan2 ke kota sebentar. cape juga ya ternyata... soalnya kita jalan kaki :D hehe..

jadi ingat pas pertama kali gue sampai di kota ini... suasana yg beda banget...
jadi ingat pinjem hpnya Chris utk sms seseorang (krn hp gue ga cocok sama kartu sini)...
jadi ingat tiap hari punya jadwal jam tertentu buat gantian sama Chris untuk online di YM, just to be able to talk to someone...
jadi ingat senangnya waktu gue tau kalau ada yg mikirin gue... :p
jadi ingat hari2 setelah itu....

hemm.....
ga kerasa gue udah setaun di negeri orang...
some things change... and some do not...
but I guess I change.. for better or worse, that is still the question... ;)

...
Que corazón que no ve
Es corazón que no siente
O corazón que te miente amor
...

(Corazón Partio - Alejandro Sanz)

MERDEKA!!!!!!

17 Agustus tahun empat lima
itu lah hari kemerdekaan kita
hari merdeka, nusa dan bangsa
hari lahirnya bangsa Indonesia
MERDEKA!!
s'kali merdeka tetap merdeka
selama hayat masih dikandung badan
kita tetap sedia, tetap setia
mempertahankan Indonesia
kita tetap sedia, tetap setia
membela negara kita...!!!

(17 Agustus)

ps: correct me if I'm wrong with the lyrics

if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad...
if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad???

(If it makes you happy - Sheryl Crow)

here comes my chaotic and hectic week... :(
hope I can manage everything properly...

ps: For you out there, thanks for the poetry.. It's really nice :) Just a question, is that what you really feel??

pahit

kadang hidup itu pahit... saat kita tahu yang nyata bukanlah yang tampak
kadang hidup itu getir... saat kita tahu yang terasa bukan yang terpancar
kadang hidup itu menakutkan... saat kita hanya bergantung pada seutas benang tipis bernama cinta
kadang hidup itu membingungkan... saat semua hal sudah pada tempatnya, kecuali kita sendiri
kadang hidup itu mencemaskan... saat kita sadar pilihan salah yang telah diambil

tapi hidup terasa membosankan... tanpa ada malunya keliru, sakitnya tertusuk, dan pilunya salah sangka
hidup terasa hambar... tanpa pernah merasakan jantung berhenti berdetak untuk sesaat, satu saat yang terindah dimana dunia ikut berhenti berputar
hidup terasa sepi... tanpa pernah jatuh, terluka dan bangkit lagi
hidup terasa dingin... tanpa rasa sayang, sayang yang kadang tidak disadari telah ada dan menghangatkan hidup, sayang yang tidak mengharap balasan, sayang yang tidak memilih target kasihnya, sayang yang hanya terasa hangat bila satu hati telah terbuka

hal tersulit untuk seorang manusia kecil adalah membuka hati
untuk melihat dengan mata hatinya
untuk mendengar apa yang hanya bisa dirasa
untuk menyentuh yang tak nampak
untuk tahu apa yang tersembunyi
dengan kasih...

Met you once over my lifetime, but I can see that you won't give up on me
I can only say I won't give up on you, not now... not ever...

B'day related pics

31 malem, jalan, makan di kebab, tapi bayar sendiri2 :p hehehe.... gue angkat tangan deh, di sini ga sanggup nraktir orang2 :)


5 hari kemudian, ada rapat mendadak buat ngomongin anak2 indo yang mau datang tahun ajaran baru ini... and... I got a surprise B'day cake :p hehehe... nyam nyam...

MAKASIH ya semuaaaaa!!! ;)

"Linger"

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everythingI swore,
I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?...

(The Cranberries)

soundtrack

eh.. lagunya bukan soundtrack hidup gue loh!! :p
cuma lagi eksperimen pasang lagu ;)
nice music, isn't it??

21 years ago...

Makasih untuk semuanya, yang udah dari kemarin kirim sms atau telp atau kirim email ;) Muchas Gracias!!!
I have my favourite weather on the sky today... ;)

This is the heart that was unconsciously given up
It was already too late to care for it now
Realising how it will be torn to pieces with one single sentence
Nothing else to do but to pick up what is left of those pieces
And start over...

rainy day

Today is cloudy in Göteborg, and when I went back home from my Capoeira workshop, it started to rain
Only mild rain, not that hard. The kind of rain that I like, but also the kind of rain that can make you sick when it hits you :) ~got a bit of headache from it~
Anyway, I really like it... My mother tongue will say "gerimis" for this kind of rain ;) Whatever it called, I just love it :) Not just the rain, but the situation it created.
Best thing to do is, for me at least, to take one book and a cup of tea, open the window (or door if you have a balcony), sit somewhere comfortable to read and put the tea on some place within your range and then... ENJOY!!!

ps: you can change the tea with hot chocolate also ;)

kurang kerjaan

and the result is:

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

hehehe... jangan dipercaya ya!! Just don't believe everything you read ;)
Ini gara2 gue baca blog-nya Rani, terus jadi iseng deh...
Karena hari ini gue meliburkan diri... enak juga sekali2 di rumah dan ngga ngapa2in ;)

Even Angels Fall

...
Its a secret no one tells
One day its heaven, One day its hell

It's no fairytale, Take it from me
That's the way its supposed to be

You will fly and You will crawl
God knows even angels fall
No such thing as you Must stay on
God knows even angels fall

(Even Angels Fall - Jessica Riddle)

...
I don't think you trust
In my self righteous suicide
I cry, when angels deserve to die

(Chop Suey -System of a Down)

Inginku,

bukan hanya jadi temanmu atau sekedar sahabatmu yang rajin dengar ceritamu

tak perlu hanya kau lihat ketulusan yang sebenarnya tak kusangka kadang ku hilang kesabaran

*mungkinkah akan segera mengerti seiring jalannya hari sungguh ku tergila padamu…

yang ada bila tak juga kau sadari akan kutempuh banyak cara agar engkau yakin semua, mauku…

patiennement je t’attendais.. mais tu ne comprends rien… je t’aime dedans… de temps en temps

biarkan aku untuk jadi kekasihmu karna tak percaya ungkapan cinta tak harus memiliki

terlambat bila aku harus berubah kala mengingini semua yang ada di dalam dirimu...

dan berulang kumencoba… tuk merebut hati dan cintamu sadarkah dirimu sering kau kesalkan aku… bila masih saja kau menyebut namanya

(Inginku - Yovie)

Makasih ya Jeng buat kiriman lagunya ;)

bright light

...
Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I’m up against out in this world
Yeah well, maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
Well, turn yourself around and come on home
...

(Bright Light - Matchbox Twenty)