back to reality

A week has passed
And I seem to be fine...
So was it for real?? Or was I just dreaming?
Was the feeling really exist?? Or was it just there with no intention to stay??
Did I really care about you?? Or was it just because you care so much of me??

Complicated.... should've never be an option.....

So back to reality... and to simplicity... is the best thing I should do...

flu

19 - ga bisa tidur semaleman, padahal badan gue udah berasa ga enak (which means that I should've rested)

20 - berangkat dgn modal tidur sejam, seemed fine at first, sampe kantor baru mulai terasa sakit kepala, terpaksa pulang setengah hari (bo! kerjaan gue banyak padahal.. :'( ), sampe rumah langsung tewas...

21 - masuk kantor, datang pagi... pulang terpaksa lebih malam dari jadwal rutin gara2 ada dinner (since we had our CEO from the other side of the world that day), sampe rumah cuma sempat tidur ±3 jam karena....

22 - jam 4 musti udah bangun, siap2 ke 4 Seasons gara2 ada acara kantor di sana (though I think I looked good this day, skirt for the day?? definitely unusual for me :p ), siang balik ke kantor.. ngejar deadline... demam naik turun... pulang ga terlalu malem, tapi stay up late to work on a presentation which should be done this morning (23/08) BUT was cancelled since we (my team at work) have to work on our reports for the deadline...

23 - hari ini... masih flu.. batuk makin parah.. tapi udah ga panas kooooq :p dan yg pasti... DEADLINE!!!! :'(

so it does.... or does not...

smile faded away on my face...
by the words that you said, I know yours is fading too...
my knees are getting weaker... thank God I'm not standing by you...
for those words will not come out... as I see the pain flickering in your eyes...
.
..
...
....
I guess it's best... for you and I...
for I'm still not sure about my heart
the pain is there of letting you go
but keeping you waiting will hurt me more
we'll see if our path will cross again
where I shall be sure... of you and I...
and I will be strong... for the two of us...


thank u for being honest and being you...

c'est quoi?

warm feeling on my chest when the word emerges...
smile is growing by the presence...
urge, to always see and stay beside...
with no words, just silence... the radiance still exist...

don't know why... don't know how...
such feeling happens...

don't know what...
don't know when...
it's just there unexpectedly...

...
....
.....
....
...

period of games is over..
thus verification is needed..
time will have to spent on it...
just to be sure that this is it..

...
....
.....
....
...

smile faded away on my face...
by the words that you said, I know yours is fading too...
knees too weak to hold this body straight...
even small fraction of water appear in the eyes...
for unknown reason...
for needing time to be sure...
...........
.......
....
..

I'll wait for time to tell that it's really true....

journey

-will be uploaded soon-

Leo

"There is a lot of flirtatious energy around you -- romance is definitely favored."

Do you believe horoscope??
I don't ....
:p

me and my energy

too many things to do...
with so much energy that I have... or so I thought..
gonna drop soon if I don't keep it steady.. :'(

June...

left without a trace or footnote...
........
.....
...
.
...
.....
........
busy month...

the old me...

I was then not like what I am today...

Just 2 days ago, one person made me realize it... not intentionally... but he did...
by the way he is... the way he smiles... the way he sees problems... the way he laughs at me... the simplicity that goes along with the complexity...
I was like him a few years ago... and I miss the old me... :'(

Life has its problems and obstacles that change people...
I didn't believe it then... but now I do...

So now, step by step... I'll try to be me again...
"Me" that I like ;-)


Thanks Adam!!!! ;-)
for the reminder...

D'cinnamons

Never thought it was from Indonesia...
Sound a bit like the Cranbberies... and basically... my kind of musics...
So, I love it!!!

Loving you (by D'cinnamons)

.....

loving you is hurt some times
i am standing here
you just dont buy
i am always there
you just dont feel
you just dont wanna feel
dont wanna heard that word
it doesnt mean i givin up
i wanna give you
more and more and more

.....

appetite for destruction

health destruction... and eventually... pocket destruction... ;)

a bit confusing?
well, for start... I've been eating a lot... and I mean A LOT... since around 2 weeks ago...

2 weeks ago I went to visit my grandmothers and that's when I started to eat double of my regular Indonesia portion (since my portion in Sweden is double than what I have at home... :p so it's Indonesian portion and Swedish portion for me)
Anyway, at first I thought it was because my cousin had promised me that he will take me out on a culinary journey everyday while I was there...
I was there for a week... and after that... the appetite continues...!!

So then, the destruction starts slowly...

More food... less exercise... (I get home a bit late nowadays so I didn't feel like jogging or doing other exercise... sleeping is still the top option on the list.. :p)
Meaning... getting bigger.. (read: fatter - although you might not notice it ;) )
I don't mind about the "bigger", but I do mind that if it continues then I have to start renewing my closet (meaning: new clothes!!!) 'coz they won't fit me anymore...
New clothes... more expenses...
And guess where it will lead you...

Pocket destruction...!! ;)

standardisasi

"Yaa.. karena kami memang bukan wanita standar, gak cocok sama cowok standar.. yang lebih mengutamakan cantik & penampilan yg oke saja "
--quoted from Justin--

I totally agree with her...!!! ;)

If we can't be honest about who we really are to the person who is going to be (or already is) by your side (in a promise to spend the rest of our lives together),
Whom are you going to be honest with??!!

2007-1979

Equal to 28. Right??!

So if you're 28, and you think that you should get married, while the one that is by your side is a person whom you can consider to be a "psycho" (in a term of "banging your head on something if you don't get what you want" kind of psycho...). What will you do.....??
On the other hand, your family and friends are by your side to support you if you're brave enough to leave that person by your own decision. Whom to choose....??

Sound like Oprah Show, right?? :p

Well, Oprah just happened in my life...


..... and the main character has chosen to be with him...
......
....
..
so may God be with her...

gorengan dan batuk

kenapa orang kalau lagi batuk ga boleh makan gorengan n cabe?
katanya sih... karena gorengan itu berminyak banyak... (terus blum tentu minyaknya jernih pula)
kalau cabe sih punya alibi yang meyakinkan... krn kalau makan cabe terus batuk2, sakitnya minta ampuuunnn...
tapi... emangnya kalau makan gorengan ma cabe jadi ga sembuh2 batuknya??!!
hmm... kayaknya gue mesti tanya ke dokter gue nih :p
yg jelas gue udah batuk hampir 2 minggu... belum beres2 juga meskipun gue udah "mengurangi" makan gorengan, cabe n minum es...
berhubung hasil dari pengurangan makanan ga mensukseskan hilangnya batuk gue...
yasud, gue mulai makan gorengan dan cabe lagi :D hehehe...
enak!!! meskipun gue jadi batuk2 ga berenti :p

blue sky

saw the blue sky earlier today...
remind me of Sweden...
ne sais pas pourquoi... :-S
although here, it's always blue... but rarely I enjoy it here...
there, there's always time when I can lay my head upon the grass and just enjoy the blue... :)
miss summertime in Sweden...!!!
:'(

dormir...

Je suis dans mon bureau mais j'ai très sommeil..
Je veux dormir....!! huhuhu...
Mais comment?! Qu'est que je dois faire??

Just the Way you Are

Don't go changing, trying to please me
You never let me down before
I don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I don't want to work that hard
I just want some someone to talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from my heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

(sang by. Barry White)

Hmmm... menyenangkan ya kalau emang kayak gitu...
ga ribet... :)
tapi susahnya,
people always want something that they don't have
so eventually, they'll try to change something that they already have

sol lagi

again...

Pagi ini, gue turun dari mobil tebengan bareng Mia n Ira...
(FYI, karena sandal gue ilang solnya, terpaksa gue pakai sandal lain yg notabene punya higher heels). Kami langsung jalan ke arah kantornya Mia (biasanya gue sarapan di deket situ..)
Baru beberapa langkah...
aduh!! nyangkut lagi nih sandal.. emang tu ya, trotoar di daerah Benhil situ emang ga beres... conblock-nya gujrag gujrug ga jelas...
anyway, gue mulai berhati2 melangkah karena males kesandung n kehilangan sol lagi..

setelah say goodbye ma Ira (dia ga sarapan bareng kita tapi langsung ke kantornya di Mampang), gue terusin jalan bareng Mia..
beberapa langkah jalan (sambil ngomel2 ke Mia gara2 trotoarnya ga beres), tiba2 gue pengin berenti n ngeliat sandal gue....
"Mi, Mi... ntar dulu deh.. sandal gue kok kayaknya aneh..."

TERNYATAAAA....
sol sandal kanan gue udah raib!!!
He?? kemana ilangnya nih!! perasaan masih ada tadi... :p
akhirnya gue ajak Mia menelusuri ulang jalan yang kami lalui tadi (sambil ketawa2 ngga jelas gitu deh... :p)
3/4 going backward, gue nemu sol sandal... (FYI, sol sandal gue itu punya semacam kait, jadi ga di-lem... mekanismenya mirip kancing..)
"Wah Mi, ketemu juga!!! ntar2, gue pasang dulu deh daripada sandal gue rusak..."
gue coba pasang.. hemm.. kok bentuknya aneh ya... dan rasanya ga pas.. :-S
lalu gue coba cek sandal kiri gue... LHO??!! kok bentuknya beda?? masa dalam 3 menit bisa berubah bentuk... :p
"Bukan punya gue nih Mi... cari lagi deh...!!"
full backward trip....
Akhirnya.. ketemu juga sol sandal gue yg asli (dan gue buang tu sol yg salah pungut :p)
Setelah itu, gue berjalan "hati2" alias sebentar2 nengok sandal gue.. takut tiba2 lenyap lagi solnya :p

Good lesson for today:
Brarti bukan cuma gue aja yg kehilangan sol sandal!!! :p
buktinya ada sol yang tidak berpemilik tergeletak di trotoar....
artinya.. memang trotoar di Jakarta makan banyak "korban"
hehehe... :p


Bon Jeudi!!!

sol

habis sarapan pagi (aktivitas reguler) seperti biasa gue menyebrangi jln Sudirman (lewat JPO tentunya) untuk naik bis ke Gatsu.
FYI, jembatan penyeberangan di Benhil itu kondisinya ga beres.. semenan-nya udah lubang di sana-sini.. paku pengikat lantai di rampnya udah copot2...
But as always, itu ga masalah buat gue...
lagi asik menuruni ramp, tiba2 sandal gue seperti kesangkut sedikit. hal normal mengingat lantainya emang udah megap2 gara2 pakunya pada copot.. dengan cueknya gue tetap melangkah... TAPI.... kok tiba2 ada benda kecil hitam yang menggelinding ke bawah ya setelah gue lepas dari sangkutan itu... hmm.. could it be......?? *thinking*
gue terus melangkah turun sampai dapat bus... (masa juga gue berenti untuk ngeliatin benda itu..)
setelah duduk di bus, gue tengok sedikit sandal yg gue pake...
ternyata benar sodara2...!!
benda kecil hitam yg menggelinding itu adalah Sol Sandal gue!!! huhuhu...
*tapi kok tadi gue malah nyengir2 ya.. :p *

jadi hari gue pagi ini diawali dengan hilangnya sol sandal gue....
*mungkin emang harus ganti sandal kali ya.. :p *

Bon Mardi!!

Aceh lagi??

gue diminta ke Aceh lagi untuk ikutan presentasi proyek kemarin...
tadinya ga mau datang karena FYI gue udah gawe di tempat lain...
ternyata...
bos gue yg baru malah ngijinin.. :p hehehe...
emang nasib... mesti balik ke sana... :p
cuma bisa 2 hari... pasti ga bakal ketemu siapa2...
huhuhu...
padahal pengin juga ketemu siapa2... :)