Sign out

Something is not right

Somewhat evil...

I need to sign out for awhile...

Until it's all clear :-)

But I'll still be around...here...

Happy weekend!

Bandara Halim Perdana Kusuma

Akhirnya menginjakkan kaki lagi di sini, walau bukan untuk terbang..

Kali ini urusan kerjaan... Di salah satu hanggar di sini..

Terakhir saya ke sini kira-kira 7 tahun yang lalu, ada privat jet yang menunggu untuk penerbangan pp ke Belitung..

One day trip yang menyenangkan :-)

Kapan lagi Jeng, Nda? 

Prakarya

Kata dokter fisioterapi saya, prakarya di pergelangan kaki ini cukup bagus :p

Ternyata pak dokter yang sudah berumur tadi lumayan gaul ;-)

Ngga sia-sia tadi berkutat dengan prakarya... (Kerja apa ngga sih :p)

Dive

Ternyata sudah dari 2012 majalah ini disimpan di laci kantor...

5 bulan setelah saya pindah ke kantor ini..

Paling tidak sudah 2 lokasi yang saya sambangi sejak itu.. Bunaken dan Bali :-)

Next trip? Soon?

Semoga....

Unintended

---- by Muse

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

Cicak

Katanya nih, kalau kejatuhan cicak itu ada artinya...

Saya lupa artinya apa :p karena memang ngga percaya hal-hal kayak gitu...

Nah kalau cicaknya memanjat kaki saya gimana? Ada artinya juga kah?

Artinya... saya kurang banyak bergerak karena sampai bisa dikira kaki meja oleh cicak :p

(maaf ya cak, buntutnya jadi putus... )

Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais tu me manque...

Ultrasound

Sesi fisioterapi malam ini...

Ngiluuuuu banget pas di-ultrasound... Huhu...

Kemarin ngilu parah pas dipanasin...

Duh.. Terima aja deh, emang lututnya cedera :'(

Semangat!!

Siblings

Saya sedang fisioterapi lutut saya

Di ruang sebelah ada anak kecil yg nampaknya sedang terapi inhalasi

Ditemani kakak dan ibunya

Si anak ini menangis jerit2, ga tega dengarnya

Si kakak berusaha membantu menenangkan adiknya

Sampai2 nyanyi lagu potong bebek angsa supaya adiknya berhenti menangis..

Ah.. Saudara memang harus saling menjaga

Seperti saya menjaga adik saya

Dan dia menjaga saya

Seperti saya menjaga sepupu2 saya dan mereka menjaga saya

Seperti saya menjaga teman2 dekat yang sudah seperti saudara bagi saya, dan mereka pun menjaga saya

I love you all :-*

You know who you are...

Thank you

I wish the same for my baby boy.. Someday perhaps..

5 years

I had a discussion with my colleague today about how long we should stay in a situation 

Work-wise... He said it should not be more than 5 years if you dislike it and you think there's no gain for you there..

After 5 years, you get into the comfort zone of habits that may be difficult to be changed and you might willing to compromise with whatever you receive

I agree...

And I said that I intend to go before 5 years (amen to this)

Do you think it only applied work-wise? :-)

I think for other situation, the period varies... But the phylosophy remains the same..

It's either "take it" or "leave it"

Good night kind hearted people...

Weird

It does not feel that I still belong in this place...

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Just watched the movie

It's the sequel of Rise of the Planet of the Apes

The main Apes character's name is Caesar

Do you remember?

You said it's the movie where the apes is handsome...

:-) and then I watch it with my occasional heart race due to its plot...

Have a nice weekend!

All of Me

I think it's my first time of loving and hating one thing at the same time...
This song, originally sang by John Legend... but Boyce Avenue made a cover of this song..

I love this song so much when John Legend sing it..
But with Boyce Avenue, it cut too deep and leave scars that I could not bring myself to listen to it just now...
This is not right... I need to try again...

So here we go...
*playing the song over and over*

What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

.......
.........
...........
.............
what would I do without your smart mouth....

I always have headache when I hold back like this... :'(
There's only one way for it.... Be patient...

Evening Run

My first run in 2015
Not too bad...
Considering the low energy level and the injured knee
I think I need to get it checked since it's not getting better after the Shell race
No more race though... For now :-)

So, One of this year resolutions is to excercise more...

Happy ending

There are words saying that it will always be a happy ending and if you're not happy then it's not the end...

Perhaps it's true.....in a way :-)

So are you happy now?

Other words say that if you don't like where you are now (situation wise), then move, because you are not a tree

It's also true...somehow

Do you like it "there" now?

All of those 'wise' words are there to give courage, strength and support....if you are willing to use them...

Am I willing to?

Well, I am...

But... (There's always a "but")

I'm still learning to listen to the purest voice in my heart before using those words...

Also trying to keep my balance...mind and soul...

So we'll see

My story continues... (Be patient)

Moonshine

It's a bright full moon tonight..

Can you see it too? :-)

Conceal, don't feel...

Don't let them know

Well now they know!

Let it go....

That perfect girl is gone

Let the storm rage on...

The cold never bothered me anyway :-)

Eight Below

It's a movie about dogs.. Siberian Husky who got deserted in Antartica

I don't know why but this kind of movies about dogs are the ones that can make me smile (truely) 

And somehow give me hopes...

Life is not just this...great things can be done....great things can happen.....

This maybe one stage that I must get through so that I can really pursue my passion after....

I do hope so :-)

Easy

Who said it's going to be easy?

It's especially not easy to smile not from the heart...something that I have never did (I guess)...

Almost 2015

Today is his birthday..

Just a simple happy birthday in the morning... It's all that I can say...

Things are not yet normal..

Maybe normal will become luxury from now on...

It's almost 2015

I used to write here about my wishes and expectation for the coming year and I haven't done that for a long time..

I guess all my wishes have been granted so I cannot ask for more... I'm just too ashamed to do it now...

I'll go with the flow, with whatever is given to me...

Trying to be a better person for the coming year and years...

May God help me :-)

Happy new year!

Beethoven 2nd

Nonton beethoven 2nd di tv

Filem tentang keluarga dan anjingnya...

Film lama memang, but I love it...

Some scenes do make me sad though :-)

This is a typical ever after hollywood movie... So....

Anyway...

I miss having dogs around the house...

Someday perhaps... If God permits...

Masih belum "cukup"

Mungkin memang masih belum cukup

Masih harus berusaha lebih baik lagi...

All should be done by God's rules

Never again to disobey...

:-)

Mudah2an semua berakhir baik...suatu saat nanti...

Hardest part

It's when I need to let go of my life

And he is my life ever since he's in my womb

So I fell a part...

He returns though...

I hope he chooses me...

But if situation does not allow that, I pray that he is in good hands.... God's hands..

Amen

Reality bites

This is earth now...

Where all realities exist...

And dreams are 5 cm in front of our forehead...

Reality bites but the dream afloats...

I need to put my feet on the ground

Make sure I'm walking this earth correctly

Putting all my best efforts to get through

And making sure all the bills are paid ;-) for sure...

I think I had always been a people pleaser... Making sure everyone is happy of what I do...

It won't be like that anymore...

Main happiness would be of my son's

The rest is just detail

:-)

...

Memang benar, semua yang di luar kuasa kita harus diserahkan pada Nya...

Be strong... Be safe...

Always...

03.18

Kebangun jam segini...

Yang diinget cuma blog sebelah aja

Nungguin update...

Come un fou :'(

Another galaxy

Perhaps it's where I should go now...

Alone if it's required..

I had written more on my other page, simply because I needed to let it out.. :-)

Anjing

Saya percaya bahwa makian tidak menyelesaikan masalah..

Dan saya percaya bahwa orang yg mudah memaki itu jiwanya masih lemah 

:-)

May God help you...

PS. I personally love dogs..

Learning

I am still learning..

To expect less from people to be away from disappointment

To work harder and let go of the result

To give with all your heart and never check what has returned

To say nothing when I have all the words to tell...

Yes, I'm still in the early chapter.. :-)

Siomay

Salah satu jenis makanan yang bisa menggugah selera...

Apalagi kalau yg dibawain siomay yg terkenal enak :-)

Siomay ini dibelinya di rest area km 98 tol dari arah Bandung.. Satu tempat dengan yang jual roti bakar... Roti bakarnya enak juga lho...

Anyway, ini enak bangeett! Sampai pengin nambah kalau ngga inget angka timbangan :p

Thanks Dim!

Things

When something is not working as it used to, maybe it's a sign

Maybe you need to slow down

Maybe you need to remember your promise

It might be a premonition of bad things...

And it can be any technical issues that we can think of...

No one knows for sure...

All I know is I need to not fight it

It's the universe saying "no" for now...

"No" or "Wait"

Good morning good people :-)

Enjoy your weekend...

Blogger error

Kenapa gagal melulu kalau posting..

Cuma satu blog yg bermasalah atau semuanya kah?

Atau aplikasinya ini yang error?

Hmmm..

Kalau ini berhasil keposting berarti ga semua blog yang kena...

Heaven...

Sampai rumah jam segini, liat baby boy masih tidur siang...

Bisa ikutan tidur siang di sampingnya...

:-)

Simply heaven...

Nothing to loose

I think I have let it all go...

So whatever will be, will be...

Conceal, don't feel... 

:-)

Symptomps

It seems that my feet can no longer support the burden...

And the whole body shakes..

And weak...

But those are not to be seen by people

I know that I've been given the strength, but it seems to slowly evaporate each time I got hammered down...

I hope not

My strength is within...

And this physical symptomps mean nothing...

So help me God..

New job?

I just submitted another application and this one seems to fit my qualifications, meaning that I have quite some experience in the area. It's Jakarta based but from what I read, it'll cover the whole country.. Quite interesting post (for me)

Tomorrow I'll have this interview for one post that is based in KL. I like the idea of having a job there but if I think about my little sonshine, I know that it won't be easy to arrange...

Well, I'm sure that He will give me what I need based on what I am capable of handling at the moment...

He won't give me anything that I cannot manage :-)

It's very close to new year now..

So perhaps it'll also mean new start..

We'll see.... ;-)

The old me

I am still my old me..

Cukup

Seberapa kuat kah kita musti berjuang...

Kalau kita bukan orang yang mudah menyerah, apa indikasinya bahwa kita belum menyerah?

How long you will stay strong?

Sampai Tuhan bilang "cukup"

When God says that all our efforts are considered enough, He will twist the situation...

Kuncinya sabar dan rela...

Sabar menghabiskan porsi dalam piring di hadapan kita..

Sabar untuk tidak meraih makanan lain yang belum matang karena akibatnya bisa keracunan atau sakit

Sabar bahwa semua hal itu ada waktu yang terbaik untuk muncul dan dipetik

Rela menghadapi apapun yang menurut kita tidak adil karena yang tahu itu adil atau bukan hanya Tuhan saja

Rela memaafkan apa-apa yang tidak sesuai dengan mau kita.. Kemauan kita kan belum tentu kehendak Tuhan

Intinya, percaya selalu kalau Tuhan ada bersama kita... And that He will carry us when we are tired...

Just believe...

Don't die

Not just yet...

Bebek madura

Terkantuk sangat saat menyetir pulang..

Sempat berhenti pasang lampu hazard untuk ambil permen karet..

Lagu pengiring "terpaksa" didengarkan via hp, yang beat dan pilihannya bisa diulang... Tentunya supaya tidak tambah ngantuk..

Belum berhasil..

Zig zag dimulai.. Mencolek jiwa pembalap supaya mata tidak terpejam..

Cukup berhasil... Sambil nyanyi keras2 lagunya The Fray...

Sampai dekat rumah mendadak pengin bebek madura ini.. padahal tadi inginnya langsung tidur pas sampai rumah..

Makan dulu lah, toh emang ngga bisa langsung tidur karena tugas utama sudah menanti :-)

Have a good evening!

Pendant

I looovee this new pendant (and necklace)

Its shape is like a military dog tags that I do really like

It's a constant reminder that I am a fighter, not a quitter... But also know when it is time to retrieve...

So... This is still my fight until God says that it's time for me to retrieve...

:-)

Ecorun

Lusa saya mau lari lagi...

Kali ini judulnya EcoRun yang menurut info kita akan mendapatkan medali dan pohon.. *grin*

Padahal pohon hadiah dari AceHardware tahun lalu masih belum ditanam dimana-mana...

Siapa tahu dapat pohon jambu air ya ;-)

Yang buahnya manis dan tidak jadi sarang semut...

Lari saya yang terakhir adalah minggu lalu di runway pesawat di pulau kecil itu.. 

Minggu ini belum sempat latihan lari lagi, tapi semoga kaki masih cukup kuat untuk mengejar yang sudah duluan lari di depan :-)

Happy weekend! 

Energi

Ya Tuhan saya ternyata capai sekali hari ini, padahal tadi seharian jalan ke sana ke mari dan gendong si kecil ngga terasa berat...

Semoga  cape-nya bisa berkurang abis diguyur air hangat...

Rainy days and you

That song sticked on my mind few years back, when I got to know someone who loves jazz and also a drummer :-)

As time goes by, I still remember the song and not particularly the person, who was only stopped by for a moment in my journey.. 

A song that just makes me want to dance in the rain...enjoy the smell of rain...and be grateful..

Lari

Tadi pagi saya diajak ikut lari sore keliling runway oleh pak bos yang in charge di gas field ini.. lupakan bahwa saya ngga bawa sepatu lari, kata Pak M ini ngga apa yg penting pake sepatu *sigh*

Beliau-nya ini ternyata juga ikutan shell race run 2 minggu lalu, tapi yang di Surabaya, jadi nampaknya semangat sekali ngajak lari...

Pheewww... Harga diri ni.. Musti lebih banyak lari daripada jalan kaki :p 

Tapi saya masih bisa beralasan karena lutut kanan memang masih terasa sakit ;-)

Nah tadi siang sepulang dari cek kondisi lapangan dan masih menunggu konfirmasi dokumen spesifikasi..

Saya: "gimana pak?" (Maksudnya bicara ke pak W yang lagi mencari dokumen)

Pak M: "hayo, lari sekarang?"

Saya: "loh bukannya nanti sore?" *ini panas terik dan berdebu pak*

Pak M: "oh iya, nanti sore. Sekarang lari dari kenyataan aja maksudnya.. Kenyataan lagi diaudit" 

Haduuuh bapak ini... Semangat bener...

*siapin decker lutut dan hp utk foto2 di runway*

PS. Hari jumat sore memang salah satu jadwal lari mereka

Connection

When you have limited connection to your significant ones... You're willing to try anything..

That includes leaving the phone ON and  hoping that the wifi connection can somehow reach this room.. Blown by the wind, perhaps... :-)

Misunderstood

I do sometimes do stupid things which I don't realize that it can hurt someone else...

This insensitivity had got me into fights...so many times that I loose count..

This time is different...

Thank you for the laugh and understanding :-)

Good night universe...

Selamat ulang tahun eyang jogja..

Today's supposed to be your birthday..

And you'd be exactly 99 yo

...

....

.....

Happy birthday eyang

May you rest in peace...

Fun run

It turned out to be quite fun..

Kenalan dengan teman dari teman yang entah kenapa langsung bisa klik..

He had injured his ankle but he said it's fine now and the angkle wrap was just fashion...because it looks cool :p that sounds familiar for me...

I did not run the whole route

I ran half distance and then walked the rest of the route

The pain in my knees were getting worse and I was afraid that I might had leg cramps if I pushed too hard on them.. (And I had no one to watch me..)

So I walked to the finish line, got the finisher medal and lantern..

I had it lit with my best friend and we sent them off to the sky..

I forgot to put my wishes on the lantern though, it should be this:

Anyway, we had them flown away by the wind and then met up with my friend and her friend (the new guy)

This morning I woke up to a beautiful tiny face, with my sore legs... It's when I woke up the second time today ;-)

The first was just like a dream...

Happy Sunday!

Hujan

Sore ini hujan, ngga terlalu deras.. Tinggal gerimis yg tersisa..

Sepertinya mulai hujan sejak saya tertidur siang tadi dengan perut yg dijadikan bantal tidur oleh si kecil..

Mimpi saya bikin cape.. Penuh pencarjan kesana kemari yg tidak jelas obyek tujuannya..

Terakhir sebelum bangun saya ditawari liburan bersama keluarga yg dari tadi menemani pencarian (entah siapa mereka) ke karawang (duh ada apaan pula di sana) dan sepertinya saya tolak..

Random...

Mimpi yg masih akan berlanjut tanpa kejelasan kalau saja tidak ada yang bilang "ibu, ini sudah jam 3"

Saatnya bersiap...

Malam nanti saya mau lari 5 km lagi, fun run kali ini.. I hope it's going to be close to the fun that I had last week :-) the fun that I carry in heart...

Too much

I learn from my whole life that having anything too much is not good..

No good to your body nor soul...

Yes, perhaps it was too much

For awhile it seemed to be just enough

But someone has once said that it's like drinking salt water, it will thirst you more..

And it's not good to your body and mind..

Too much salt water will eventually sicken  yourself...

But it's your choice and your call :-)

In 20 years from now

Where will I be?

Will I still be alive?

And what would I be like?

Whom would I be with? Surrounded by love ones or stranded alone?

I'll never know until this date in 2034..

I will see the answer then... 9th of November 2034

May God blesses us all..

Race

Hari ini mau ikutan race, event lari 10 km

Sadar diri sih, jadi cuma ikutan yang 5 km aja...

Udah latihan lari lhooooo..

Tapi kok ya deg-degan masih aja...

Race-nya malam ini jam 7, tapi dari bangun pagi tadi udah berasa

Pengennya cepet2 nanti sore :p

Tapi kalau dipikir2.. Deg2annya dari kemarin malam sih :-)

Free fall

Don't let me fall and hit the ground

I've been there once and it hurts much...

Less painful though from the other fall that I've been into, but still it hurts...

So I've stopped believing in "ever after", Until it proved otherwise...

Alert button

When some things just annoy you too much, I think it's better to leave them

I like what I do now because basically I like doing something useful to others..

I think this is quite useful to the environment and also to our country..

But it becomes annoying when the system they have does not support this good faith and when this so called system only cares about profit in the form of money..

Either I just try to be patient until this system's retired, or I can find another system that can get along with my way of thinking

Perhaps I should just do social works...

*sigh*

*rasanyagatambahpinterdisini*

3.51 km

Running and mostly walking...

I forgot that today is Tuesday, a working day where people do their activities very early...not like Sunday :-)

So I reroute after too many cars and motorcycles went by...

Not bad though, considering I was too lazy at the start :p

Galau pagi

Lari...engga...lari...engga...lari...engga...

Kemana ni semangatnya untuk latian lari?

Jalan kaki aja deh ngga papa...

Hmmm...

Tapi kaki masih sakit semua. :p

Nah kan bikin alasan...

Hufff... 

Password...

Duh... Apa gunanya inget password kalau loginnya lupa :p haha...

Suka lupa kalau rambut mulai putih :D dan memori jadi seadanya...

Buzzing mind

Too busy with my mind that I didn't notice the same uniform in the same café that I sit...

Ah... I thought I have given up being jealous and suspicious

I thought nothing can hurt me anymore when it comes to him

I thought that having been at the lowest will put me on my strongest state

But this small status did distract me...

Ah... I miss my old me...

Ulat matahari

Ini rasanya seperti kena bulu ulat matahari..

Iya, masih di tempat tattoo tadi..

Perih, panas dan gatal bercampur aduk...

Ga berhenti2 rasanya...

Hukum sebab akibat :-)

Maaf ya bu udah ngga nurut....

Apa kata ibu..

Ibu saya dulu pernah bilang:

"Mba, ngapain sih tindik telinga banyak2, ga usah aneh2, jadi orang itu yang sederhana aja ngga perlu ditambah ini itu"

Di lain waktu percakapannya seperti ini:

"Bu, aku bikin tattoo yaaaa" *sambil senyum jahil karena tahu pasti ngga boleh

"Husss.. Kok neko2 tho mba.. Ga usah lah.." (Artinya sama aja ga boleh aneh2)

Saya pernah nekat bikin tindikan tambahan di telinga, ngga berapa lama bekas tindikannya sakit jadi giwang tembaknya saya lepas dan tindikannya nutup lagi...

Tu kan... Ngga nurut sih sama ibu.. :p

Beberapa minggu yang lalu, saya pasang tattoo temporer karena saya pikir toh saya sudah dewasa, bukan niatnya juga untuk aneh2 bergaya2...

Tattoonya sekarang mulai memudar... Menyisakan ruam merah yang sakit dan sangat gatal di sekitarnya

Ga lagi2 deh sepertinya coba2 pasang tatto temporer... Untung bukan permanen, sakitnya kayak apa nanti :D

Lagi2.. Ga nurut sama ibu sih... :-)

My first run

After forever that I can remember :-)

In another galaxy

"We belong to each other", said the Sun to the Moon

"But here we have our purposes, for the good of this world", Moon replied

"Not here, in another galaxy. Where one sun and one moon may embrace each other..", explained Sun

"This galaxy seems to be unreal. But, I will meet you there, somehow..", Moon smiled

Sonshine

When u have kids, they are your world... Your everything...

Or at least for me, my baby boy is my everything..

Not so much of a baby now but he will remain my baby forever :-)

He had fever last night.. Refuse to take in food or water since yesterday.. Luckily, he still obeyed when I said he needed to finish his milk..

2 glasses of milk today and no food, he was so weak.. And so depressed when I told him that we need to see the doctor, just to make sure nothing's serious..

So we went... With him in my arms..

The doctor said that he is fine so most likely the cause is his rotten teeth which cannot be treated yet because of his fever...

I made him listen clearly to the doctor that he needs to eat to get better, and so he did...

He refused to eat perhaps because of the tootache, so it's noodle soup for him tonight..

He ate not so much, just 10 teaspoons of noodle... Took his medicine and he said he wanted to watch dinosaurs in youtube in my bedroom...

So he did...

After 5 minutes, I can hear him roar like a dinosaur... This roar that said he felt  better. My happiest time of the day :-)

Few spoons and he gained his strength back...? Yes.. He is that kind of kid that when he looks weak, it means all of his strength has gone... 

If he has just the tiniest strength, it'll show...

By the way, he just sang and danced on the bed.. ;-)

Thank you Lord..

Unfair

If you think life is unfair to you,

Please look back and see what you have done to life...

I believe in theory that you should not pinch if you don't want to be pinched

So this is not about how I feel...

But how to do things right... How to do life right to make sure that life treats you kind :-)

Surely we'll never know what tomorrow may brings, but hope of better and happier tomorrow is based on what you do today... 

This is me, my poker face and the great wall I built within my heart..

Happiness is within... Just remember that...

Good morning world, let me have my sleep now...

Butterly effect?

I've written about this almost 10 years ago..

Chaos may happen with one flap of the wings...

Just read something that got me thinking

Is it for real that one can give such effect to other one?

And what if the effect is vise versa, in some different levels, of course...

It's like reading fairy tales or novels :-)

I guess perhaps fairy tales and novels are taken from real life too...

Well, to conclude:

Anastasia Steel, I feel you... 

In a mild level, it's almost like having Mr. Grey around :p

Forever

By Chris Brown

Of course I'm still listening to Boyce Avenue's acoustic version...

I'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing...

I need my slow dance.... forever....

Waiting

Is not my favourite activity...

*how to save a life - acoustic version by Boyce Avenue*

This is one of my favourite songs by The Fray which Boyce Avenue did a great acoustic version of...

I read that this is actually a sad song of losing someone to death, but I still love it.. Because losing someone not to death is more painfull.. At least for me :-)

Ah, I wish I have a piano...

These fingers are getting stiff...

Bye... For now?

I do agree that saying goodbye is harsh..

I used to say "a tout l'heure", means see you in awhile.. Or "vi ses", means we'll see each other...

But I say "daagh" which literally means goodbye. However in my language, you don't say that to a person whom you are not expecting too see soon.. So basically, you say it to someone close... :-)

Baju

Udah lama ga ribet mikirin "pake baju apa ya?" :-)

Am I ...

Becoming one mistake

For making it so misserable to deal

Am I ...

Too ignorant to see what it may cause

I said what I said, not because it's an escape...

Just that...

That's me... And what my simple heart says...

Platonic

New word.. For me, at least...

One very nice person introduced this term during discussion..

And it said that it is non-physical...

Does the term correctly apply or is there any derivation? 

Our discussion did not actually reach to a conclusion :p

Blog walking

I've been kind of going around my old posts lately.. Someone very nice had done something that somehow trigger me to do it.

Reading all of them reminded me that I have been high and I have been low..

I had my ups and my downs.. Big time..

But somehow I cannot deny that all of those people whom I met, who had become the subject of my writing, who had kept my hand stucks on the keyboard... All of you people... are great persons...

Thank you :-) :-*

And for someone who are still watching me and my blog (although I have not been writing a lot), Thank you... May your life is full of happiness as I have always wanted it would be..

Dry lips

It's a mixture of peace yet worrying

Warm yet troubleing

Just happy somehow...

Thank you :-)

I think

That I miss you...

Storm

When the storm hit you once, you can still try to fight it again

When the storm hit you twice, you still can try to fight it again while knowing the risk of not survive in doing so

But when the storm hit you for the third times, it is only natural to retreat and reroute....

Almost 2014

Tomorrow is 2014 already. 

Time flies..

Seems that I haven't done much this year, but His blessings are always there..

Let's do my resolution later..

Insomnia

Couldn't sleep although it is all I need to get rid of this headache :'(

Well, got me to write here though... 

Long time without any good writing or small piece of my mind.. 

Somehow I feel that I will write more from now on.. We'll see...

Anyhow, let's try to close this eyes for awhile because tomorrow is going to be a loooong journey back home..

(Sengkang-Wajo, South Sulawesi)

Maybe

It was just too much of a dream come true...

Decision

Can I just say that I'm beat and tired?
Am I allow to say I want to have a break?
Or perhaps since it is my own decision then I should just swallow everything?
Well, maybe...
I don't think I can say "I quit"

Temperatur minimum

Lagi audit power plant di ketinggian + 1,800 meter. Dingin!! Mau tidur jadi keingetan kamar di skillnadsgåtan ;-) dengan heater pas2an :p memorable indeed...
Maybe someday I can visit that house again with Christin :-)

New year

It's 2013...
May it be better than 2012
Hope I'd be stronger than ever
Wish that smiles and laughters are all around us...
And may God bless us always... Amen

Empty

I guess I should prepare for the worst

Everyone has the right to be happy
So please God, put a smile on his face, for whatever cost I'm willing to take...
Make me stronger and constantly remind me that You are always there for me ...

Just want to fly

And forget those annoying feeling
Forget that I still can feel a pain
Forget that happily ever after is only in movie....

Happy is for you to work on

Another december

And I got numb, a wrecked again.
The whole year was not easy and it is still not better for me.
I was a positive person... But maybe it has changed and I want my old self back with me...

Just a simple life... A simple happiness... A simple me!

Can I have that luxury again?

2nd year

No one noticed, but it's our 2nd anniversary... A lot has happened, even the worst...
Hope that none worse than that shall happen in our years ahead...

I'm alive

And (hopefully) have moved on ;-)

Imperfect world

When you are spending much time in your comfort zone....
When all around you seems to be naturally perfect....
You tend to forget that life ain't so..
Until one day when reality struck you, pull you down to your lowest dream and sink you into an endless tunnel of worriness and fear..

I knew that because I was there (well hopefully I was and not I am ;p )
Anyhow, no matter how hard you fight everything with your own strength, it will all come back to how close you are with God and how much you believe in Him that all mess is nothing but for the good of you...
At least it will give you peace of mind... And that is all that I want in life...
Peace in mind and in heart...

So help me God....
;-)

2012

New year
New hope
New life
New job

May God bless us always...
Happy new year dear friends!!

Sahabat sejati...

Tidak akan pernah bisa melukai sahabatnya sendiri...
Tidak akan meninggalkan sahabatnya, dalam susah ataupun senang...
Tidak egois...
Selalu menghormati sahabatnya...

Married couple should a true bestfriend for each other...


*for me and my best friend, be strong girl! *

Desember 2011

Sepertinya jadi saat terberat buat gue...
Semua ujian muncul dari awal bulan ini
Kejadian yang di luar dugaan pun ada
Terpukul? Sangat...
But maybe I do deserve this...
I'm staying because God stays with me 'til the end..

D-3

Ha! I've never felt this nervous for an interview before ;p well maybe not nervous, but I just really want to know the result, that's all...
No no, it's not cheating... But it seems that getting this job may lead to a better and organize life, our life ;)
God knows better of what I need so I should actually enjoy the process of waiting :D don't u think so?

Which one?

What u want is not always what u need..
What u'll get is your need
So hopefully what I want is what I (we) need...
Pengeeeeeeen.... :p
I miss working...

Apple

Kalau dulu pernah posting blogging dari blackberry (jaman blackberry belum ngetrend ;p), sekarang coba pake OS 5 ah.... Ipod n wifi :D
Makin mudah aja ni akses... Tp waktu utk blogging jg semakin berkurang *nguap* Arka sudah tidur, saatnya tidur juga.... Mudah2an bisa bangun pagi utk berenang ;p (doubt it! Haha...)

journey with Arka

hohoho...
it's been a very long time that I've not written anything here...
in short, the baby was born on his 37th week through a caesarian sectional procedure. A healthy baby boy!
We had some  problem during our first months because we found out a bit late that he has tounge-tied problem.
Anyway, those stressful days had passed :) we made it through!
He's 6.5 months now. Healthy, cute (if I'm allowed to say it because all babies are cute!), and gaining weight more each day.. I love him! We love him :)
I've spent all those months with him and I was lucky that I didn't have to work (blessing in disguise that the company I worked for was having an internal restructuring and I was released for that reason...)
Now, I'm ready to get busy with the business again ;) we'll see where I'll work next...

week 36 to 37

This is my 36th going to 37th weeks of pregnancy.
It's getting closer and closer... and in my case it's very close because I'm having this so called Placenta Previa, in which the placenta is blocking the birth path. So, the way to deliver the baby is to have a surgery, a caesarian section procedure. The procedure is quite common nowadays and it's not as scary as it used to be as the doctor will only make a small cut to get the baby out

Thing that really needs to be taking care of is that I shouldn't experience severe contraction prior to the operation because it will harm the placenta. This is what's difficult. Why? Of course! Because I won't know when the contraction will happen and how. With the baby getting bigger now and with the age of pregnancy getting older, it's natural that I get some contractions as a result of the baby is reaching toward the birth path and the womb's getting ready to get him out :) but I can't have too much of it... :(

So now, I'm monitoring the move of the baby (he can't move too much as this may also harm the placenta, but he shouldn't move too little as well - so confusing! :D), the contraction that happen, and anything else that I experience. Luckily, I'm already starting my maternity leave so it'll be easier for me to do that because if I'm still working, I tend to forget that I need to monitor the baby - doesn't mean that I don't love you when I'm working baby... ;)

Anyway, I'm enjoying it... and we'll see what happen...
Wish me well!! ;)

mencari nama --- finding ne(a)mo(e)

finding a name for a child is not easy... I knew it already...
but knowing it and actually going through it, is actually give you different sense
all parents wants to give their children good names, of course...
so the search begun...
some start by determining the language... some by origin...
some people look around themselves to see a figure with good personality, heart, etc, and use the name - basically in a hope that the child will follow the footsteps of that good person
some use the internet...
some use the announcement of the "UMPTN" -- this is quite a story itself :)
some ask for their parents advices - or even ask their parents to name their future grandchild

me and my husband? what do we do? what happen to our process?? :p

I didn't really think of a name before last month, but time surely passed by so fast!! so we need to find a name soon...
my husband had already suggested some names, but I still had not given any at that time...
what I don't want is to give the same name as the name of my friend's children - if I obviously know their name, then I prefer other names. It's just that many varieties are better than just one variety, don't you think so? :D
also, I try to avoid that the name can be used as a joke - although, joke can come in many ways, so this is just a prevention that may not succeed... :p
what else, I want to give him a last name -- got it! :p

and I've suggested a middle name now!!! :D he likes the name, so I think we'll keep it
the homework is for the first name... any suggestion?? ;)

with no intention of joking about this process, we do laugh a lot when looking for a name... not because the names that came up are ugly or anything, but if we look at it, it's a fun process despite of its difficulties!

So... let's hope we'll get a good, proper name... that reflects our hopes and wishes for our child :)

For anyone reading this who's also looking for names... Good Luck!!

ngeblog berbobot?

sudah lama saya tidak menulis sesuatu yg "agak" berbobot di sini :p
lack of time.. lack of energy... you named it.. all the reason is available for it :)

kali ini.. sambil menunggu download yang tak kunjung  selesai - belum lagi install dan mengerjakan pekerjaan dari hasil download-an itu, rasanya perlu juga nge-blog :p

so let's get to the next title now.....
"mencari nama"

just found out

that blogrolling is no longger available?!!
well... I guess that will be alright :)

hey it works!

I tried to blog some days ago and did not manage to post anything..
Either there was something wrong with  blogger or my laptop is getting old :p (it is!)
Anyway... it's my 28th week this week... :) time flies... ;)