converse merah part 2

Memang menyenangkan!

Everything's as estimated yesterday..

Plus... I had a good progress with my project (cross my fingers all will go as planned), I had a lift to go meeting my friends at PP, I had good meals...

Ditutup dengan menyenangkan juga oleh jemputan si pacar...!!

I know u're really tired and extremely sleepy and the traffic was horrible because of the rain, but u still came to pick me up :-*

Sleep tight my dear...

Ce soir, je sais combien que tu m'aime.... Beaucoup!!

converse merah

Rasanya cape banget hari ini...entah kenapa... Udah ngga inget juga kapan terakhir kali berasa cape kayak gini...
Need to lay back and feel my bones crush.. :)

Besok sepertinya akan menyenangkan...mungkin lebih cape dari hari ini, tapi rasanya akan menyenangkan...

I won't be with Cuplis tomorrow... (Kena tilang euuy!! Trus tiketnya ketinggalan di kantor.. Hehe.. Clumsy as I should be :p )

Mau naik bus!!! Senangnya bisa nambah tidur sejam di bus :p semoga alarm-nya masih berfungsi jadi bisa bangun tepat pas di belokan deket kantor...

Will be wearing my red converse shoes...!! Semoga ga dicegat satpam gedung dan dikira anak ilang...

Mau ketemuan sama anak2 Swedia :p hope it'll be fun...

.....

Naaaaah...pulangnya gimana ya... :p
we'll see... Anyhow, it should be fine and fun ;)

.....

Now let's get myself some sleep... ;)

if only I could turn back time...

If my time is not that long...
I wish not of time to be turned back...
I will wish my childhood wish...
That I shall be a good person...
That I shall not be a burden to any of whom I care the most...
That I would able to show my love and attention more...
That I would able to bring happiness...
That I could be one of those good memory...
And finally, that I could be a useful person for my surroundings...

happy people

people are really different...
on how they see their lives or others...
on how they deal with their destinies or consequences...
on how they deal with their past...

I've said "you're forgiven but it's not forgotten" to a friend
and someone special to me said that it shouldn't be like that...
you should really forgive and forget...
I know that... and actually do that... (most likely because I have short memories :p)
but saying that I "forgive and forget" seems to make me a weak person... too soft and easily fooled...

well it's not like that at all...
it takes lots of courage to forgive.. to completely and sincerely forgive... since it means that you should be able to handle your heart very well
and it takes more strength to forget as people tend to remember all those bad things that happen to them... so human.. but it's still not a justification to see that tendency as a good thing

I have my bad time and worst time... but I don't regret them...
Some people did hurt me... but I don't despise them... (I may had hated them for a short while... something so called "human" reaction :p but not too long...)

I know and I believe that everything happens for a reason...
Even when I think it got me to my lowest point... but still... God knows that I have something to learn there so I'll just need to figure that out... with less emotion or anger involved... with cold headed and positive thinking... ;)
Don't you think so?

370 hari

bersamamu...

lama yaaaaaaaa....... ;)

..
....
......
........
..........

let's try to make it to be "for the rest of our lives"....
:-*

masih bermimpi

punya kamera SLR lagi... :'(
turun deh, jadi 500D ga papa...
tabungannya cukup ga ya...??
hmmm....

stuck in KL

was intended for 3 weeks, and I got around to make it only 1.5 weeks... :)
I'm here since last wednesday... so I should be back next friday
but I'm finding a way to make it just one week!!
For a good reason, of course...
My team here is actually going out of town next week for projects, so there will be only one person left in the office... I figure that would be the same as I'm doing the work in Jakarta.
Now, what's need to be done is to check how much will the airlines charge me if I want to change the date... (and hopefully they still have some seats on that date...)
And if I can make it home on that day.. it should be great since it would be our anniversary :p
We'll see... ;)

no sign

I asked for some signs...
If I need to stop...

Nothing

I asked for some signs...
If it will be as bad as I can imagine...

Nothing

I asked for some signs...
If it will be difficult...

Nothing

....

Everything just goes well...
And yet, I'm still searching for those signs...
Just to keep me on the average level...not too high, for I can't handle the fall...not too low, for I may not have the srength to climb...
So just average...
but still with no sign for now...
(Then I should start to think that it's a good sign, don't you think? :p)

never stop believing

This date last year...

I stopped something
...something that was not supposed to take place from the start..
...A mistake I knew would be too difficult and complicated for me to handle...
...A lesson of life I learnt through a hard way...

This date last year...

I knew that I did the right thing...
And I knew that I must pay for what I did...
But above all, I knew He won't leave me with my debt without His help...
I knew He will give me what I need to get through my decision, decision made with full consciousness and straight mind...decision that really was (still is) the right thing to do...

I didn't know what He will give...
I didn't know if I will survive...
But now I know...
I know what He has given me to stay sane...
I know that I've paid some of my debt with that as well...
I know that I'm here and I survive...

...
Just don't stop to believe and everything shall be arranged for you to live in peace
...

lebaran ni...

Maaf lahir batin yaaaa...
Lebaran pendek ni.. Penuh dengan perjalanan jauh...

18-19 sept : perjalanan 15 jam ke Solo
19 sept : bersantai dan belanja di Solo
20 sept : lebaran pertama - sungkeman keluarga Solo, nyekar, berhandai-handai, lanjut perjalanan ke Bandung
21 sept : lebaran kedua, sungkem eyang jogja dan bertemu keluarga besar, pulang ke Serpong
22 sept : bersantai di rumah...

Fuiih... Jadwal padat!!
Tapi menyenangkan bertemu saudara2ku tercinta.. :)

deg...deg...deg...

"Aku mau .............. kamu"
Deg...deg...deg...
Ini sungguhan kah?
"Gimana caranya ya?"
Deg...deg...deg...
Haduh, mana kutahu... Kan blum pernah...

Jadi, gimana caranya ya...? ;)

sabar

Kesabaran itu ibarat obat minuman yang pahit sekali, yang hanya dapat diminum oleh mereka yang berbudi sentosa, tetapi bisa menyembuhkan kesusahan dan penyakit...

Sabar bukan niat yang terhenti pada pengharapan atau tutur kata saja...

(Dipetik dari buku Sasangka Jati, bab Sabar)

besok puasa...

mohon maaf lahir dan batin yaa...
selamat berpuasa teman2ku...

menjelang detik-detik perayaan kemerdekaan

"Bahwa sesungguhnya kemerdekaan itu ialah hak segala bangsa, dan oleh sebab itu maka penjajahan di atas dunia harus dihapuskan..."

Susahnya menghapus penjajahan... :(
Walaupun judulnya sudah merdeka, tapi rasanya penjajahan dalam berbagai bentuk tetap ada...

Walaupun begitu...
"Sekali MERDEKA tetap MERDEKA!!!"
Semoga aku bisa berguna untuk bangsaku... :)

Selamat Ulang Tahun Kemerdekaan Indonesia-ku tercinta!!!

score of 7 or 8

I met one of my bestfriends today...!
We're like bound to each other when I was in college and I haven't seen her for a very long time as she has been living in France..
So it was a very pleasant and fun meeting..
I picked her up at her house and met her mother who's still the usual her, like the old days ;)
She remembers me for sure, I was the one who kept the phone busy back then (either her daughter called me or I called her), stayed over for group study before exam (which usually was full with gossip and "curhat"), and lots of other things.. :p

So for the meeting, we went to PIM together with Maïssa, her daughter... Yup, she's married since around 4 years ago when I was still in Sweden..

As we talked about lots of things back in the old times, we did the same today.. ;) I even lost track of time and practically had to race home to arrive in time before "the carriage turns into pumpkin" again :p but we usually lost track of time anyway (and made my mother jumped everytime the phone bills came :p)

We talked about many things, update on our friends latest news and then about marriage as well (not a new topic of this month, huh?)
As I mentioned to her about some of my friends with their "not so bad" situation and telling me to enjoy my "dating time" while it lasts because it won't be like that when you're married, she said something refreshing...
"Well it will be different and I'm not saying that I don't argue with my husband, I did have a fight with him which got me cried and deeply sad, but on the scale of 1 to 10, I think we have 7 or 8"

I like the sound of it, they are working for their marriage to succeed..and she admitted that it takes both sides to do it..

I would like that please...
With a goodwill to start and efforts to make it last for as long as God granted you the numbers...

things I'd really want..

-- Come to Stéph's wedding in October.
She's a dear friend and we had so much fun in Sweden. Jenny will be there, another dear friend from Sweden. Well, return ticket to Paris, her hometown, is around US$875 to US$ 1050... That's the cheapest... There will be few more € to be spent, assuming staying at least a week is proper and visiting some other friends there is a must... And for gifts and souvenir and fun...

-- Canon EOS 50D
A friend told me that it will be cheaper when the 60D is launched.. I think it won't be in the near time, right? Price of body + standard lens 18-55mm is around Rp 12mill. With 18-200mm lens (that is one of the dream) will be approx. Rp 15mill

-- another event
If this shall occur in this year, it may be 10 times the round ticket...


Pheeew... The wishes are kind of big this year... I had two wishes granted last year... I may be lucky enough to have another two this year :p or I may be blessed by not getting anything.. :p we'll see... I still believe that everything is happened for a reason.. A reason that's best for me, as long as I stay close with The decision maker... ;)

today's topic: marriage

Why?
Because people that said hi to me on YM were bringing that subject along in the conversation..

#1 (out of nowhere)
Friend 1: loe mau merid bulan November ga? Gue mau over dp ni.. Gedungnya ok loh.. Di P****j*** :)
Me : ha? Kejauhan tu buat gue.. :p
(And the conversation continued to catering choice, date, etc.. Hers, of course :p not mine.. Basically because she is the one having a wedding soon and not me :p Hehe)

#2
Friend 2: kapan kawin loe?
(ga pake basabasi-red)
Me : nanti.. :D
how's marriage life for you?
Friend 2: yah, not bad lah..
Me : huh?
(And the conversation continued to differences between dating and marriage, responsibilities, etc.)

*hehe... It's an entertaining day for me.. The subject was brought up with laughter and joy ;) thanks girls!!

I don't think I can take over the down payment for the venue :p but I will consider your suggestion of different places...for later.. ;)

Only "not bad" huh? Well, I think I 'll still keep it as one of my plan though :p

*girls, you're fighters..!! I know you can handle and get through it well ;)

first day after 2 weeks..

Today's the first day I came to work after resting for 2 weeks...
Didn't have too many task to do since I took care of almost everything just before I got sick :p
Still weak, but manageable..
I even drove myself!! (Sorry doc, had to disobey you.. I might gotten sicker if I didn't.. :p)
Anyway, tomorrow..more things to do..
Hope I'm getting stronger by the day, which I have a feeling that I will as I found myself feeling hungry quite a lot now :p A good sign of recovery ;)

today is today

A bit of tradition to write something on my B'day...
I did just this morning, but seems like it's not complete yet..

A good opening of the day with a very pleasent closing...
Love the moments..not all though, a bit less when I was almost fainted after they took my blood sample :p low bad pressure and lack of sleep are held responsible.. :)

Favourite of the day is his present, by mean of really was there...

Je crois que je l'aime de plus en plus... Je sais pas pourquoi mais c'est ça... Incroyable! Je suis amoureux de lui...
Dieu nous bénisse..
Notre chemin est encore plus plus loin...

30

Hey, I guess I'm trully blessed...
Never thought I'd reach that number... ;)
Thank you...

change

...

It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things that seem still are still changing

...


-Still (reprise) by Ben Folds

spending 29

if I'm blessed to reach the day, then I'll be ending my 20's being sick.. :D
got thypoid just last week..
got doctor's order to rest... bed rest.. (how do you think that sounds for me and my whole activities.. totally not good!)
when I felt that I was better, the doctor gave another look.. and yes, I still need that rest for another week! :(

wait.. I'm not complaining here.. (well, maybe just a little bit? :p)
I'm happy that I can have some rest... and it's actually in a good moment where I have completed most of my tasks at the office
but staying in bed and doing nothing is just out of the question...
luckily, nowadays I have lots of means to do something... not like 14 years ago when I got this sickness.. and blogging while you're sick is not forbidden, right?? :p

so... the number is growing in just a few days... I should feel old... but I don't... (LOL)
Or maybe I should start to feel that?? in a way it can make you wiser... well, only for some people though :))

and what have I done in my almost 30 years lifetime??
I think I was a good person....sometime... :))
I think I've made lots of people laugh... (it should be a good thing, right?)

but I've been bad and a jerk as well...
I've broken so many hearts (I really am sorry for that...)... although I was also broken lots of times, but it does not compensate...
I've disappointed some people.. (I think my mom is on top of the list, but I know she's proud of me at the same time. I can't understand how it works, actually.. but maybe I will someday..)
I've made people angry, created chaos, got into a real deep trouble that only God can help (and He did), confused people with my decision... and the list can continue forever...!!

Hmm.. not so good after all... :))
Well, I just hope that I've been a good influence for some, a good memory for some others, a smile for the rest...
And if I've touched any in a bad way that they dislike, please accept my sincere apologies.. never meant to cause anyone harms, but I may have did that...

Let's see if I can do better...
if God is sparing me more times to be a better person...
we'll see... :)

what is going on here...??!?!

What you get when you can't sleep...
Strange conversation with "old" friend from Grad school...

TAK!!! says:
so where r u living now?
RP says:
still in Jakarta
RP says:
you're in mexico city, right?
TAK!!! says:
yeah
RP says:
and you're married now, right?
RP says:
i think i heard that from Hector
TAK!!! says:
well.... yeah
TAK!!! says:
but about to divorce
RP says:
what??
RP says:
i'm not even married yet
TAK!!! says:
lol i wish i wasnt


they've only been married for 11 months... 11 MONTHS!!!
goossh...

Presidential election day 2009

Nope.. I won't be talking about the election process or result here... :p
Everyone has their own opinion and much of those are already in the news
I myself have my own opinion, which fortunately would not be shared here... :)

This election day is a kind of tradition for me and my childhood friends...
Many of our parents still live in the same housing complex and many of us are still administratively registered there, so when it comes to election day, everyone from everywhere will go home to vote (or to have a vacation :p ) and basically will meet everyone else that's there to vote..
A kind of reunion.. where we usually gather at our old elementary school area (as the election usually takes place there...), have some "old" meals that we used to take during daily school break and chat of the old days... then go to some other place together to "continue" the laughs :p
Although with the growing years, we have less and less people that can gather in the "reunion", but it's still a fun thing to do...

Yesterday's reunion was only with 6 people. We went to see a movie (Ice Age 3) and wound up waiting for 4 hours at SMS because the previous schedule for the movie is fully booked... still fun though...
and the laughs continued during the whole movie as well... :D

hope we'll still able to gather and have this reunion again.. 5 years from now...

validation please...

Akhirnyaaa....!!
kekirim juga final revisi untuk technical review...
eh tapi belum final deng, masih nunggu comment lanjutan..
and then to the next stage of technical review...
and then... let's submit the project for validation!! ;)
cross my fingers that the process will be quick and no major comments from the DOE
after that.. hoping the EB to accept everything (unlikely though.. at least not without comments) and get it registered..!!

pheeeww... that would be a long way to go...
some of you might not know what it is about...
well, it's my work... the one I put my biggest effort into for now...
it's the world of CDM.. a never-ending story of the world and environment... ;)

Nice Beat

I wanna ask you -
Do you ever sit and wonder,
It's so strange
That we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care
What goes on in the other one's head?

Things I've felt but I've never said
You said things that I never said
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago:

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

You could have just propped me up on the table like a mannequin
Or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me)
Any face that you wanted me
To be seen.
We're
Damned by the existential moment where
We saw the couple in the coma and
It was we were the cliché,
But we carried on anyway.

So, sure, I could just close my eyes.
Yeah, sure, trace and memorize,
But can you go back once you know

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)

You don't know me at all (at all)
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me

If I'm the person that you think I am (Ah ah ahh)
Clueless chump you seem to think I am (Ah ah ahhh)
So easily led astray,
An errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash, then
Why the f**k would you want me back?

Maybe it's because

(You don't know me at all)
(You don't know me, you don't know me.)

So, what I'm trying to say is
What (What?)
I'm trying to tell you
It's not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you'll only change it.
(Say it.)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

What?



--You don't know me--
by Ben Folds, feat. Regina Spektor

home alone 1

Kevin : Why don't you call your son if you miss him?
Old man : We had a big fight and I'm afraid that he doesn't want to speak to me again
Kevin : Well I think you should call him
Old man : And what if he doesn't want to talk to me?
Kevin : Then at least you know that and you won't be afraid anymore...

Basically...
It's how brave you are to face others...no matter how hard and difficult the situation... If you truly believe, then you have nothing to be afraid of...
And if what happens is exactly the thing that you are afraid of, then at least you know... And you can stop being afraid (since it happens already)... And find a way to cope with it... Better than being afraid of your own thought, right?!!

Why is this posting?
Because I admit that I'm afraid to do something for I may loose... But I was reminded today that the important thing is that you try...that you give your best effort...and that all the result is up to Him who owns this world...
So, I'll try... Though I may need a little more time to gather the courage, but I'm sure it'll all be okay in the end...

"Don't be afraid of giving, and love might just begin"
(from a song, my childhood song, forget the title though..)

menunggu air mendidih

My life is not perfect.. I know...
My love life is far from perfect.. I also know...
I'm not even close to perfect.. I know that perfectly...
But I would never trade my life with someone else's
I would refuse to experience other's love life
And I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me

Walaupun sekarang sering sakit-sakitan ga jelas, tapi harus semangat!!! ;) ya ga??

Everyone has their own things to deal with, their experience to help them, their friends and family to be happy with, their memories to hold on, their wishes to be granted, their mistakes to be forgiven... And I think everyone also has their faith to God that keeps them sane...

Mulai melantur...
dan airnya sudah mendidih sekarang..

apprendre le français

je dois apprendre le français plus fort, surtout d'ecouter.... :(
quelqu'un veut de m'aider??

seriously (not) joking

Midnite conversation:

+ : Would you like to grow old with me? :)
- : Emang kamu bisa tua? Perasaan dr dl cm segitu2 aja. :-p
+ : Bisa... Bisa tua, makin pelupa, makin nyebelin juga, makin jelek, n bisa jd sakit2an.. :p jadi gmn?
- : Ya gmn lg? Udah mentok.. :-*
+ : Mentok apanya?? :p
- : Mentok cintenye ame eneng ocha.. :-p
+ : Duuuh... Jadi malu aye baca smsnya... :p


That's how it is when you can't sleep... :p
it's a serious conversation after all...
And I bet he's asleep now.. :p

Message 76

Just a few minutes after you left the house...

Kamu tau ga kalo aku sayang bgt sama kamu?!
From: 0813xxxxxx23
9:19 pm 24/5/09

and I asked.. "why do you ask?"
you said.. "because I just want to say it"
then I said.. "it's not because of X-Box or Kawasaki, is it?!?!"
and you laughed... :))
so I said, "nope, you still can't have them for now honey" with a big grin on my face..

I know... it's not because of those...
and the answer is "yes"
because you showed it to me when we said goodbye near the carport..
you had that look in your eyes...
a kind of look that I've been able to avoid all these times for I was not able to return it with all my heart..

but there you were with that look in your eyes...
a look that I now can return gladly...

so the answer is "yes"

-----

and it's true

have you heard that "curiosity kills"???

I have...

I know that it hurts sometimes when you know something that's not as expected
I know that it will make your brows raised for something that you never know it exists
but...
I didn't know that it really can kill...

So curiosity just killed a part of my heart.. for something I may not suppose to know..
but it's something that is actually good to know...
to keep you in balance...
to keep you on track and not being carried away...
to keep you sane when you think you're already sane...

I know now...
and now I pray...
please make my curiosity a good way of finding my way...
to walk on this earth... to stay close to You...
and to come home to You someday...

I have made my promise to him... so please let me keep it...
please show me what should be done... anything but to break the promise...
let me stay with him... until You say I should not be...

21 Oktober

Wah.. ternyata tanggal 21... hihihi.. bener ga ya??
happy belated anniversary honey!!
it's 6 months already.. :p
felt like 13 years though ;)

patient

je compte le jours de se réveiller à côte de toi...
tous les jours...
je sais que maintenant tu fais la même...

downhill

harusnya excited ya...
tapi sedang tidak bersemangat nii...
perlu liburan.... :'(

A walk to remember...

3 July 1996 was the first call..
coming of nowhere, with so little conversation.. It was during holidays between school term and I was at home..

31 July 1996 was the first time you said it...
after lots of long distance phone calls... and I did call you back actually... just once though :p

.... then it's black..
.... I was with my life and you're with yours..

12 June 1999 was a memorable mistake?? Was not supposed to take place anyhow, and it did..
but somehow it becomes sweeter as time goes by..
(I did visited your city that year and we went out with the guys as well.. don't remember, do you? Actually.. me neither.. 'till I read it again.. :p)

.... another blackout..
.... no call, no news, not even a simple "hi"..
.... You with yours, I with mine..

first quarter 2007 was another time...
when you came and went away (again).. no traces of yet another existence of you in my heart.. (I did try to wipe it all.. and I managed that smoothly since I've forgotten those days were there.. -- you hated that I forgot about it, didn't you? Well, it's my defense mechanism that is trained for years.. but I remember those now ;) hmm... at least some... :p)

then 2008 came.. and so were you... just right in the middle of it..
brought back the good times and the bad memories...

you said you'd stayed...
and you're still here now..
so I hope you'll still be here..
and that "someday" will come for us..

-----------------

As days go by and fade to nights
I still question why you left
I wonder how it didn't work out
but now you're gone and memories all I have for now
but no it's not over
we'll get older we'll get over
we'll live to see the day that I hope for

come back to me
I still believe that
we'll get it right again
we'll come back to life again
we won't say another goodbye again
you'll live forever with me

Someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together

I heard someday
might be today
mysteries of destinies
they are somehow
and are someway for all we know
they come tomorrow

for today my eyes are open
my arms are raised for your embrace
my hands are here to mend what is broken
to feel again to walk on the face
I believe there is more to life
oh I love you much more than life itself
I believe I can change your mind
revive what is dying inside

And someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together
someday, someday
we'll be together
we'll be together
we'll be together
someday

-Some day by John Legend-

alasan!!

Kamu semua alasan atas segala keputusan..
Aku mau kamu tau itu sayang..
Luv u.. :-*

From: +62813**33**23
12:19 am 29/3/09


let it be a best decision for us then... :-*

to be or not to be?

we'll make it through...
doesn't matter how long it'll take...
I'll stay by your side, until you don't want me there...


Je vais rester jusqu'a qu'il n'a plus besoin de ça

sayap patah

rasanya ada yg patah ni sayapnya...
padahal baru satu aja yg lagi berusaha diberesin...
satu tapi baseline sih... :(

seems like falling to the ground...


*don't like being weak*

Kisah Romantis

Mengejar dirimu
Takkan ada habisnya
Membuat diriku menggila

Bila hati ini
Menjatuhkan pilihan
Apapun akan kulewati

Hari ini sayang
Sangat penting bagiku
Kau jawaban yang aku cari

Kisah hari ini kan kubagi denganmu
Dengarlah sayang kali ini
Permintaanku padamu

Reff :
Dan dengarlah sayangku
Aku mohon kau menikah denganku
Ya hiduplah dengan ku
Berbagi kisah hidup berdua
(Habiskan sisa hidup)
(Menikahlah denganku)

Cincin ini sayang
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OST. Cinta Silver (by Glenn Fredly)

too fast...

is it too fast?? too soon??
too much?? too overwhelmed??

slowing down....
for I will not have this fall to the ground...

to let go

a wise person said that if you really love someone, you will learn to let him go
let him be what ever he wants... where ever he wants...
if he comes back to you in the end... then you'll know that he's yours...


is it true??
so where am I now...?

letting go several times is not easy...
but even now, it does not seem like the end...
it feels like I still need to let go...

will I be as strong as before...?
or will I fail myself this time...
either way...
I will let go...

one question...

yes he did... last night...
and yet,
there are still so much to be resolved...
so much to be on each understanding...
so much to work on...
so much to commit to...
but so much to be happy for...

I'm not cold feet here...
I'm just thinking...


"pourquoi tu veux m'épouser?"
"parce que, je ne peux pas vivre sans toi..."


*Still don't believe it happened...*

plus de 3 mois

et tu m'aime de plus en plus... :-*

je souhaite que ce seras d'être toujours comme ça

Happy Birthday honey!

Hope you'll love me more and more :p
Wish all the best for you and your life ahead...
And may I'll be a part of it as I have been before...

2 mois

et tu es encore là...
tu ne disparais pas come d'habitude...
et ça, tu m'as raconté déjà si tu ne partiras jamais...
alors, on va voir...
mais en ce moment, je sais que tu m'aimes et que tu essaies d'être là pour moi...
et puisque je vis pour ce moment, ça suffit...

should be tired of wishing...

but I wish that you can see my heart
with all the pain you caused...
and the happiness in mix...
and not too busy with your own..

"hey, I'm here... let me know if I'm on your way, okay? I'll just move aside and let you pass.."

meriang..

sudah hampir lupa rasanya sakit...
ternyata masih ngga enak...
apalagi bakalan sakitnya ngga di rumah...
meskipun cuma sebentar... :'(

mau ditungguin dan dipegangin tangannya..
sampai tertidur...
dan terbangun lagi saat sudah sehat...


*Je sais pas pourquoi, mais tu me manque beaucoup.. encore de plus en plus.. mais je peux pas d'être malade en même temps de ça*

wish upon a star

Just be careful what you wish for...
'Cause you just might get it all...
And then some you don't want...

-home by Daughtry-


*you really really need to be careful about your wishes*

first argument?

notre première dispute ce matin,
mais tu me manque beaucoup déjà...

you're staying...

and we'll see how it goes... :)

does my heart ready to be broken again???

.....
...
.

we'll see...

aduh...

ga boleh tu colongan....
kamu panik sendiri kan jadinya?
tapi pas ditanya kenapa, kok jawabnya cuma "karena ngerasa nyaman" aja??
hmmm....
ga ngerti deh maksudmu...
tapi ya sudah lah...
just stay...

my dear,

It was a fun saturday night.... ;)

So what's next? Bali for 2?? *wink2*

by my side

God knows when I need someone to be by my side...
to get me through obstruction... or just to be there...

And as always... He knew...

Just stay close for now... :)

Keraton Solo

It's the holidays...Lebaran!! (Maaf lahir batin yaa...)

I started to read Romo Mangun's "Burung-burung Manyar" a few days ago when I had Cuplis' regular service-check. An old book, first published in 1981.. I was only 2 years old that year :p
I've read until chapter 6 only, but I like it already. A mix of romance, fight, javanese culture, the royal family of Keraton in particular, the Dutch and Japanese occupation here - historical view, etc.
I should finish this book soon :) I have a dozen more to go :p

I'm currently spending my holidays in Solo, another center of Keraton beside Yogyakarta. I'm still accounted as one of the royal family which is called "Kasunanan" in Solo, but I've never had any interest in knowing more than just "you're in it". But reading the book gave me another glimpse of what it is (still my interest doesn't grow that much though :p).

Anyway, I just want to say that I'm enjoying my holidays with the whole big family and Cuplis :)

Happy holidays and enjoy Lebaran with your family!!


PS. Ran, enjoy your "far away" Lebaran, although it's without Opor Ayam!! :)

no more

of this..
or that..

...

mati satu tumbuh seribu

kill one and many attack...

bisa begitu ya??! :p *a bit amused*

good morning!!!

it's nice to come early to the office
the traffic is not so jammed... the sun is waking up... the fog's still there

When all seems so cool and fresh.... :)

and while I'm already here in the office, the traffic is beginning to soar outside... :p
(I'm at 17th floor and I can still hear the loud traffic :p )

Cuplis got hit

Yup.. Scene in the morning..

Although not exactly hit - crash - bang...
We were stopping at a traffic light (and I always keep my distance with other cars)... But this car infront of me just forgot to hit the break and boom!! It roll backward and I can feel that Cuplis is taking the weight of that car and it didn't budge although I hit the horn.
So I just got to get out and check.. And I can only think that I'm crashing my car within only a few months..there goes my "good driver" reputation..
The back of that car is actually stayed on my front!! Forgot to take a photo though.. Well what do u expect when u're shocked! :p

I practically had to knock the window and tell the driver that her car is bumping mine.
Yeeeeep, a lady driver! Sh**t, I always hate it when they say that girls are not good in driving because I'm a good driver.. But there's my proof.. *sigh*
And u know what, she didn't even realize that her car is moving!

I don't like prolonging this kind of thing, so after that car moved its butt of my car, I just checked the damage and was going inside Cuplis when the guy, her friend on the passenger seat, came to apologize.. See how polite she is?! Pheeww... (regardless is a fasting month where apologies seem to be everywhere...)

Luckily.. That car was bumping just exactly on my car plate and I put some kind of frame for the plate... And it held the weight of that car.. Thank God! So I don't need to get all the trouble of coming to the repair-shop.

Anyway now, I just arrived at my office and took photo of the plate.. See how it's curving in the middle? It should've been flat... :p

simple heart

why it should be simple??
because I don't handle well on complication.. :p

have a great weekend guys!!! ;)

and what do you know...
it's still numb... ;'(

guess I was badly fell

does being sleepy can also cause the numb?

my cappucinno on my messy desk..

my heart

just numbed...
no clear reason...
it's numb...

all the scars and the sore..
all the pieces that were glued back..

maybe it's just too tired... for now...

Prays

"God gives what you need in life and not what you want"

All of my life, I always get what I want... (well.. it's true.. :p )
I'm not the kind of person who likes to chase hard on what she want.. never do that..
And I don't think I'm the kind of person who ask a lot of things... (was not before, but I might ask more things lately :p )
But I do always get what I want eventually...

I wanted to continue my study.. and there I was in Sweden..
I wanted to travel free of cost.. and I was in Europe, got a chance to take picture in front of Petronas tower, stepped on five big islands in Indonesia.. everywhere and no money was spent.. I even get paid for it :)
I wanted to drive my own car to the speed limit.. and I have Cuplis for now..
I wanted to meet people from different countries... and I have friends from all over the world..


All of that are just examples.. and those are things that I acknowledge after a very long time, years difference between wanting and getting it... Only seen when I look back through the path of my life.. All comes at the time when I need it or you can say deserve it...
And I'm grateful for what I have...(and for what I don't have.. :p)
--although lately I feel like I'm not that grateful, feels like I'm wanting what other people have.. :( which shouldn't be like that... Thanks to the reminder from Anonymous' comment!!!

But just today..
I'm shown that I can get what I want... when I need it... and if I wish it hard (read: pray)

This morning I asked God for not giving me any chance to meet a person in any kind of way possible since I won't be able to refuse any meeting if he asks for one (I'm just being to weak to say no). and I practically begged for it... (we should, don't we??)
I asked him to give me reasons so I won't be able to meet that person.. reason that doesn't come from myself since I've already have so many plan today in which in all of that tight schedule, I still have some chances to meet that person, and he will take that chances with all his might..

First reason I got was a call from my best friend, asking what I'm going to do after work.. and she doesn't sound good at all.. So I promise to cut one of my schedule short and meet her afterwards... (she said we'll see though, since she's not really in her usual calm, which actually worries me)

Then I went to a meeting and had lunch with some friends from college at FX
When I got back at the office, another reason was there...

Second reason was from the person himself.. :) He said he might not have the chance to meet me today since he has to take care of some matters at home...

....
....
....
....
....

I asked for a reason... and He gives me (at least) two... (since the day is not over yet)
I actually really want to meet the person and was kind of hoping that I will have no other choice than to meet him today.... (although I was begging for not meeting him... but you know how it is when you want something that you know you shouldn't want)
Well, He knows better of my need.. :) He knows that I need not to meet him...

It's why my Yahoo Messenger status that I put on this morning is right after all
"Friday I'm in Love"
some people asked about it.. and now I know that I really am in Love...
.....with my life.....
:p hehehe.. narcissism?? a positive one if I may say so... :)

Have a good weekend everyone!! and Enjoy Life...!!
Live for the present and not for the past..
Care about this moment and worry not about tomorrow ;)

morning public transport....

My car is on its way to Solo with my cousin driving it right now...
We had a sad news yesterday saying that my grandma's brother passed away, so we need to get there a.s.a.p. It's a long weekend this week and public transport tickets for the whole family are out of questions.. So two cars are going to Solo...
I couldn't go with them because I have a whole staff meeting today, but I plan to leave after the meeting. Luckily, my dad got me a ticket for this afternoon's flight but with a very expensive price though... (however, it's still quite reasonable amount for emergency situation...)
Anyway, so I'm going there as well today....but without my car!!
I should've been the one who's driving it long way... I want to drive 600 km with it :'(
Well, maybe it's for the best... :)

Anyway, with no car at home, I asked Ira, one of my ganks who still lives in the same housing area with me, if I can come along half way to the office, since our offices are on different region. So she dropped me off at Blok M...
It was the nearest junction she can stop, so I practically had to walk a few hundreds meter to the bus terminal. Then I realize, I miss my morning walk that I usually take when I didn't have my car... :'(

There are 2 choices to take, busway or regular bus.
I took the regular bus since it was quite empty :) maybe since it's still 7 AM in the morning...
I sat near the entrance, my favourite seat on any public transport since I can feel the wind breeze there :p and also if the bus is quite full, I can still get some fresh air there (you know how Indonesian buses are when they're full).
But the bus wasn't so full... and the road wasn't jammed yet... and the wind breeze was still fresh... and I love it!!
As the bus passes the familiar road, I did my usual habit of watching people on the sidewalk...
And again... I miss that!! I never had a chance to do it when I'm driving my car... too busy watching the road and the car in front of me... :'(

So today I learn... that there are lots of things that I miss...
taking the bus...
my morning walk from the bus stop to the office...
watching people on the street heading for work...
seeing people who actually is working on the street...

I should give Cuplis* a break once in a while and take a bus instead...


*Cuplis, that's how I call my car :p

Don't Bother...

by Shakira

She's got the kind of look that defies gravity
She's the greatest cook
And she's fat free

She's been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She's got the perfect friends
Oh isn't she cool

She practices Tai Chi
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than you deserve
She's just far better than me

So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry

And don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind

I'm sure she doesn't know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don't you think so?

She's almost 6 feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
I'm really a cat you see
And it's not my last life at all

So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry

Don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind

For you, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If it made you stay, but you won't, but you won't

So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry

And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry


*nice... :)

still tired...

of living a lie...
for something that I don't have...
and something that's not mine...
which is everything to me for now....
.....
...
.

system status:

- heart disfunction
- hardware failure
- programs're not responding
- software needs to be reinstalled
...
Restarting is recommended...

wrong day

To use high heels... :p

Try being pretty once a year on your birthday... And guess what?
The building management decided to have a fire drill TODAY!!!! :'(
My office is on the 17th floor...
High heels and 17 floors of stairs?? Not a good combination.. *sigh*
Just hope I can still feel my legs tomorrow...

by the way...

today is my birthday!!! :p
well.. not until tonight actually... since I was born at night...

white rose

No one ever send me flowers before... :p (read: really send it by courier)
One red rose yes, a bunch of red roses yes, but they were all not sent :) it's hand to hand...
but this one....


It's just there on my desk this morning... :p

Thanks Black!!! ;)
It's nice of you to do that...

dream list

(Doesn't necessarily mean that I need it though :p )

- vacation - to Bali or elsewhere.. (postponed for lack of time)

- black rubber for my car
- iPod shuffle 2GB (not really needed actually since I've my radio in the car :p )
- mobile device, dual ON for GSM n CDMA
- notebook, weight less than 2 kg, windows vista, 10" LCD at least
- CANON lenses for my camera :p
- humid-proof box for my gadgets
- waterproof watch

Hmmm... What else... :p
I guess it's already a lot and I need to start saving NOW!!! :D

Tentang Diriku

by: Kahitna

Semalam aku bermimpi
Bertemu dengan dirinya
Ingin rasa tuk mengulang
Hangatnya cinta tadi malam

Sudah taukah dia tentang diriku
Yang tak mungkin mencinta disaat tak tepat lagi
Yang kuragukan dia akan bertahan
Bila tau diriku yang tak mungkin memiliki

Oh beginikah rasanya
Tak boleh lagi jatuh cinta
Tapi mengapa dirinya seolah memberi harapan

Jujur saja aku
Tak pernah rela melepas cintanya

For your eyes only... ;)

tuesday's work

Starts with...
"Your computer is unable to start..."

Thank God it's only for 15 min idle time... Pheewww...

bulan

Vra... Bulan sabit ni pagi2!! ;)
Padahal smlm berawan... :)

still sleepy...
coffee... cappucinno... *dreaming in a meeting*

good intention

Here's how I start this week...this day...
...With good deed...

Let's see,
I woke up early today so I can go to the office earlier than usual. Why? Because it's a week minus of the start of our team's probation period. In attempt of showing that we want to make this team work, so why not start this week with "I love monday".
And so I left home 45 minutes earlier than I usually do..taking the usual route of course.. (Home_Tekno park_Latinos_tol road BSD-Fatmawati_Antasari_)
Smooth at first, then there's an unusual traffic jam after Tekno park's gate :( the street is not being repaired, so the jam is quite strange...
I asked a truck driver coming from the other direction and he said there's an accident in which the truck fell side way ('terguling bhs inggrisnya apa ya?? :p') and suggested that I turn around since it'll take forever..
And so I did...
Told my brother about this as well since he has just left his house (see how I tried to start the day as good as I can? I usually left home much later than he does...)
So here I am (or should I say 'we are' since my brother's car is just right behind me), taking the route through Serpong market (jam near the market as usual, but still there's hope..) to reach the tol road...

We'll see how the rest of my day will go...


(Blogging while driving is suggested if u're in a traffic jam :p hehe...)

black rubber

I want that black thing on my car...!!! :p
Anyone knows where to get it? *lack of knowledge in car accessories shops*
(photo's taken at Gunawarman street)

just tired....

Enough of all the lies....!
Please just let me be...

start a day

(Sans toi)

Almost fainted at the gym this morning...
Ran for 15 min, did 3 sets of triseps and 1.5 sets of biseps... And I went yellow.. :p so I stopped... Had a hot tea and a cookie :)
Last time was in Lampung when I did a site visit on a project, but it was sooooo hot that day and I couldn't stand the heat :( but today? With air conditioner around... I should be just fine..

So why?!
- Low blood pressure?
- Lack of sleep?
- Too much caffeines?
- Work pressure?
- Too much on my mind?
- No breakfast? (I always exercise without one though.. A glass of milk is usually enough..)

Dunno... :'(

Well, it's better now and I'm on the way to a meeting..

(Blogging while driving is not recommended :p )

cappucinno

I think I'm getting addicted to this drink...
















It started a month ago... 10h00 in the morning...
and it continues until now... (have a cup of cappucinno sitting right next to me here.. :p)
every morning... and sometimes in the afternoon, when I really really really feel sleepy...

Shoot!! I shouldn't be like this...!! feeling sleepy everyday...

thought I've slept well...
I exercise well (go to the gym quite regularly now...)
eat well... drink well... (hahaha... no, I don't drink... well, unless there's an official occasion like the one at the house of Swedish Ambassador last time :p honestly, drinking in Indonesia is not fun... it's a hot country and you're drinking something that makes you even hotter? doesn't make sense... :p )

what else...
I drive well... (with speed, for sure...)
work well... (think my boss might protest on this one since I think I'm not doing too well lately... maybe I need some vacations... but with all the projects, I'm lucky to have the weekend for myself --which I'm forcing to always have it, of course --)

so it should be enough... sleep... eat... drink... work...
maybe lack of fun?? :D hehehe... not really...
I have had more fun in the last weeks than I had last month...

am I getting bored with the job??
well... no... I don't think so...
if I'm bored, I usually won't get up for work at all... :D (bad habbit... but good to know, so if the sign comes out, I know that I should start looking for new job :p)

my cousin said that I'm just too tired... (she said that she's tired just by watching me doing my activites.. :p ) really?? hehehe... dunno...

anyhow... I'm kind of enjoying to have cappucinno each morning ;)

wanted

@summarecon mall serpong
18.45-20.30

Finally... ;)
With Iit and Arum...

pile of books

I have a pile of books in my room... Books that I haven't got time to read yet... Books that I've bought since the start of this year... Good books! But I just don't have the time.. :(

Anyway, because of that, I've promised myself that I won't buy anymore books before I finish my pile of unread ones...
And then just now, I drop by at a book store (boy, am I looking for trouble there :p) and there's one book that interests me... (And of course I can't buy it because of my promise...)
It's called "way to live forever"
Tells a story about a boy with leukimia and writing a diary on the last days (or weeks?) of his life to know what death means...

I really need to finish all my books NOW :(


Ps: but I bought a new perfume though :p

toi

Je déteste d'être faible avec toi...!!
Tu sais que je n'ai pas la force pour refuser de la rencontre...
Tu sais que je vais faire ça, si tu me demande...
Et tu vois des mes yeux, si je n'ai pas le coeur de briser ton coeur...

Mais on doit s'arrêter...
Si tu ne peux pas, alors je vais l'essayer... tout seul...!!


...

Aaarrgghh....!!!

does it have to be this difficult??!!!
think positive...!
it's only been 2 days...
so just do it step by step and you should be alright...
as always... ;)

TAKEN

Saturday, July 12, 2008 - 23h45 @Blitz

Finally, I got to watch "Taken"... :D

We were thinking to play pool, but everyone just seemed to be too tired to play...
Anyway, we went to Setiabudi Building first (since it has both, cinema and a place to play pool, and we needed the options...)
We were aiming to see a midnight movie, but the tickets were almost sold out for "Wanted" (we really didn't want to sit on the front rows) but the choice of playing pool wasn't so interesting anymore...

So we're heading to Grand Indonesia... which I just noticed that I didn't know how to get there (and I should be the map of Jakarta :p). Thank God I was able to reach a friend from the office for direction (thanks mba Gina!!)

And so it was... Taken!!
Very interesting movie, for me at least...
I just love how the father would do anything for the safe of his daughter :)
It doesn't mean that I love the violence, of course...

I got everyone else who were mostly sleepy at the time, to be wide awake and see the movie from A to Z :D nice, isn't it... :p

Another fun of the week...!
keeps me distracted from some thoughts... :) Thanks!!

Love you guys so much!! We'll do it again next time we all get together...

arm training 2

I was suggested to use elbow support to prevent it getting worst... :(
Luckily it should be still a muscle problem and not neuro... ;)

Hancock

It was an accident actually that I got to see Hancock...
I was supposed to watch Wanted, as it was said by Ade, the one responsible for dragging me to the cinema (although I've already said that I was sleepy yesterday...)

So there we were the four of us, Ade, Fikri, Didit and me... watching the movie...
with a strange combination of seat - Fikri, Didit and me, three seats altogether; and Ade separated from us -
What was he thinking when he bought the tickets anyway? I was suspecting that he should be with one more person to sit there...
(my wild guess, it should be a girl! :p gossip mode:ON).
Luckily, the seat next to Ade was empty so Fikri moved there...
(with my previous assumption, I wasn't so surprise that it's empty and no one claimed it at the middle of the movie - suspected that he already paid for it... hehehe...)

OK, enough with the gossip (I have one more actually... but let's save it for later... so Rani if you read this, I'll make sure that the gossip is accurate before forward it to you :p )

It was a good entertaining movie...
Although at first I was kind of grumbling about Ade's decision (since I just met some friends as well at CCF and one of them said that her friends told her the movie wasn't so good),
but in the end...
it was fun..

It's fun to be with old friends...

And as they said it last night...
"Mumpung masih single ni, kalau ga mana bisa kita ngajakin elo kayak gini..."

Amid all of the questions asking "kapan nikah loe?", "tunggu apalagi sih?", etc.
it's nice to hear something different for a change...

I'm glad I decided to go out with you guys... ;)

Next time should be.... "Wanted"... right?? :D

Arm training...

this morning...

think I hurt my arm again... :(

african dance

So it is called.. :p

It was one hell of a dance!!
And most important thing, it was so much fun.. ;)

Thanks Ie, for keeping up with me.
Shall we do it again next week?
Or... One of the day of this week?? ;)

time heals...

almost everything....

le temps va guérir presque tous....

seuleument un jour...

après l'accord de dégager...

mais tu me manque beaucoup... de plus en plus depuis hier...
incroyable...!!!
je veux pas come ça... je déteste d'être come ça...
:'(

premonition

If such conversation occurs...
..... a should be forgotten conversation...

xxx (6/26/2008 2:48:09 PM): nobody is perfect, makanya 99%.
yyy (6/26/2008 2:52:13 PM): Kiss on the Forehead: I want to be with you for the rest of my life. ---> your 1%
xxx (6/26/2008 2:53:48 PM): ....thats why i said sorry for being not perfect to u.....
xxx (6/26/2008 2:54:01 PM): walaupun sering tak lakuin ke kamu...........
yyy (6/26/2008 2:55:26 PM): I don't want a perfect person...
yyy (6/26/2008 2:55:48 PM): I want him to stay by my side for the rest of my life...


So what do you think girls??
Is "kiss on the forehead" true and would last??
If it's true then 'the rest of my life" is not that long.... :'(
Or are you dealing with a player??

We'll see....

My Unintended

I'm loosing it... :'(
Never lost a fight before...
Should fight harder...
Keep all the feelings blocked...

But it's harder than I thought it would be...

Complicated should never be an option...

For this option, it's not even close to the worst... It's worst than the worst...!
Still I'm crawling to get my eyes fix on the best choice... one that everyone see as the best..
not an easy things... but I'm trying here...


I opt out my dear.........
so help me God...


I've promised to guard you... keep you safe from harm...
And I shall do that...
Don't know how... with all the feelings that are not supposed to grow...
But I will do as best as I can... to keep my words...

----------------

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

-Unintended by Muse-

blogging with blackberry

Don't know if this works though :p

*background music: James Blunt - goodbye my lover*

why does grass looks greener in the neighbour's yard...
And why do you even want those grass when you have a yard full of nice trees??!!

I've no idea why...
But the man just keep on coming to see and, if nature's being nice, to smell, the grass...

While the grass thinks that it would not fit in with those trees, its curiosity draws it closer...and closer...
And you know what? Curiosity kills!!
Fortunately, the grass knows... So it stays in the neighbour's yard and try to ignore the man, which would be one of the hardest things it has to do in its lifespan...

*background music: Once - aku mau*




**** wish you could stop and let me be ****

still wish...

That you're not you.....


I feel my wings have broken In your hands
I feel the words unspoken Inside
When they pull you under
And I would give you any thing you want
You were all I wanted
All my dreams are falling down
Crawling round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you

I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside
And they pull me under
And I would give you anything you want
You were all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you

All my dreams are on the ground
Crawling' round and round and round

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't' care how you do it
Just save me, save me
I've made this whole world shine for you
Just save, save
Come on
I'm still waiting for you

Save me by Remy Zero (OST Smallvile)

"My Last Breath"

hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

i'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there

say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me as you fade to black

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight


by Evanescence

Wish...

I wish you're not you...

With all the smile and laugh that I really like..
With your curiosities and questions that make me think about a lot of things..

I wish you're not you...

Who do things on purpose, just to hear me say my silly comments.. and then laugh when I do..
Who got me think about what I'm thinking now.. about life and love..

I wish you're not you...

With your thoughts that struck my mind.. like a thunder in the spring time..
Who makes me see things differently... in a good kind of way..

I wish you're not you...

Who now always come to my mind each time I need a good laugh..

Don't mean to be ungrateful.... but I wish you're not you...
I wish you're someone else.....

but some wishes don't come true because it's just what you've got to deal with now...

pagi ini... hujan...

gue lupa gulung celana jeans waktu turun dari mobil dan jalan ke kantor.. jadi basah deh stengah betis... ga kering2 pula nih... :(
gpp sih.. krn gue suka ujan dan hari ini hujan ga berenti2 sejak pagi... :) senangnyaaaa....
lebih enak lagi kalau hari ini gue ga ada di kantor :p tapi sekarang gue lagi di meja gue di kantor, berkutat dengan blog (eh kerjaan juga lah :p ) plus gue lupa ga bawa jaket.. jadi AC di kantor berasa dingin banget!!! :D

udah lama ga nge-blog.. sedikit lupa cara yg baik utk nge-blog ;)

berharap gue di rumah ni... ada coklat panas... dan buku2 gue yg belum sempat gue baca gara2 pulang malem mulu... plus.. ada biola gue yg baru ;) huehehehe... yup! gue sekarang lagi mencoba belajar biola... artinya mencoba belajar sabar... :p soalnya susah!!! and not to mention costly :)
I wish I'm at home...