In another galaxy

"We belong to each other", said the Sun to the Moon

"But here we have our purposes, for the good of this world", Moon replied

"Not here, in another galaxy. Where one sun and one moon may embrace each other..", explained Sun

"This galaxy seems to be unreal. But, I will meet you there, somehow..", Moon smiled

Sonshine

When u have kids, they are your world... Your everything...

Or at least for me, my baby boy is my everything..

Not so much of a baby now but he will remain my baby forever :-)

He had fever last night.. Refuse to take in food or water since yesterday.. Luckily, he still obeyed when I said he needed to finish his milk..

2 glasses of milk today and no food, he was so weak.. And so depressed when I told him that we need to see the doctor, just to make sure nothing's serious..

So we went... With him in my arms..

The doctor said that he is fine so most likely the cause is his rotten teeth which cannot be treated yet because of his fever...

I made him listen clearly to the doctor that he needs to eat to get better, and so he did...

He refused to eat perhaps because of the tootache, so it's noodle soup for him tonight..

He ate not so much, just 10 teaspoons of noodle... Took his medicine and he said he wanted to watch dinosaurs in youtube in my bedroom...

So he did...

After 5 minutes, I can hear him roar like a dinosaur... This roar that said he felt  better. My happiest time of the day :-)

Few spoons and he gained his strength back...? Yes.. He is that kind of kid that when he looks weak, it means all of his strength has gone... 

If he has just the tiniest strength, it'll show...

By the way, he just sang and danced on the bed.. ;-)

Thank you Lord..

Unfair

If you think life is unfair to you,

Please look back and see what you have done to life...

I believe in theory that you should not pinch if you don't want to be pinched

So this is not about how I feel...

But how to do things right... How to do life right to make sure that life treats you kind :-)

Surely we'll never know what tomorrow may brings, but hope of better and happier tomorrow is based on what you do today... 

This is me, my poker face and the great wall I built within my heart..

Happiness is within... Just remember that...

Good morning world, let me have my sleep now...

Butterly effect?

I've written about this almost 10 years ago..

Chaos may happen with one flap of the wings...

Just read something that got me thinking

Is it for real that one can give such effect to other one?

And what if the effect is vise versa, in some different levels, of course...

It's like reading fairy tales or novels :-)

I guess perhaps fairy tales and novels are taken from real life too...

Well, to conclude:

Anastasia Steel, I feel you... 

In a mild level, it's almost like having Mr. Grey around :p

Forever

By Chris Brown

Of course I'm still listening to Boyce Avenue's acoustic version...

I'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing...

I need my slow dance.... forever....

Waiting

Is not my favourite activity...

*how to save a life - acoustic version by Boyce Avenue*

This is one of my favourite songs by The Fray which Boyce Avenue did a great acoustic version of...

I read that this is actually a sad song of losing someone to death, but I still love it.. Because losing someone not to death is more painfull.. At least for me :-)

Ah, I wish I have a piano...

These fingers are getting stiff...

Bye... For now?

I do agree that saying goodbye is harsh..

I used to say "a tout l'heure", means see you in awhile.. Or "vi ses", means we'll see each other...

But I say "daagh" which literally means goodbye. However in my language, you don't say that to a person whom you are not expecting too see soon.. So basically, you say it to someone close... :-)

Baju

Udah lama ga ribet mikirin "pake baju apa ya?" :-)

Am I ...

Becoming one mistake

For making it so misserable to deal

Am I ...

Too ignorant to see what it may cause

I said what I said, not because it's an escape...

Just that...

That's me... And what my simple heart says...

Platonic

New word.. For me, at least...

One very nice person introduced this term during discussion..

And it said that it is non-physical...

Does the term correctly apply or is there any derivation? 

Our discussion did not actually reach to a conclusion :p

Blog walking

I've been kind of going around my old posts lately.. Someone very nice had done something that somehow trigger me to do it.

Reading all of them reminded me that I have been high and I have been low..

I had my ups and my downs.. Big time..

But somehow I cannot deny that all of those people whom I met, who had become the subject of my writing, who had kept my hand stucks on the keyboard... All of you people... are great persons...

Thank you :-) :-*

And for someone who are still watching me and my blog (although I have not been writing a lot), Thank you... May your life is full of happiness as I have always wanted it would be..

Dry lips

It's a mixture of peace yet worrying

Warm yet troubleing

Just happy somehow...

Thank you :-)

I think

That I miss you...

Storm

When the storm hit you once, you can still try to fight it again

When the storm hit you twice, you still can try to fight it again while knowing the risk of not survive in doing so

But when the storm hit you for the third times, it is only natural to retreat and reroute....

Almost 2014

Tomorrow is 2014 already. 

Time flies..

Seems that I haven't done much this year, but His blessings are always there..

Let's do my resolution later..

Insomnia

Couldn't sleep although it is all I need to get rid of this headache :'(

Well, got me to write here though... 

Long time without any good writing or small piece of my mind.. 

Somehow I feel that I will write more from now on.. We'll see...

Anyhow, let's try to close this eyes for awhile because tomorrow is going to be a loooong journey back home..

(Sengkang-Wajo, South Sulawesi)

Maybe

It was just too much of a dream come true...

Decision

Can I just say that I'm beat and tired?
Am I allow to say I want to have a break?
Or perhaps since it is my own decision then I should just swallow everything?
Well, maybe...
I don't think I can say "I quit"

Temperatur minimum

Lagi audit power plant di ketinggian + 1,800 meter. Dingin!! Mau tidur jadi keingetan kamar di skillnadsgåtan ;-) dengan heater pas2an :p memorable indeed...
Maybe someday I can visit that house again with Christin :-)

New year

It's 2013...
May it be better than 2012
Hope I'd be stronger than ever
Wish that smiles and laughters are all around us...
And may God bless us always... Amen

Empty

I guess I should prepare for the worst

Everyone has the right to be happy
So please God, put a smile on his face, for whatever cost I'm willing to take...
Make me stronger and constantly remind me that You are always there for me ...

Just want to fly

And forget those annoying feeling
Forget that I still can feel a pain
Forget that happily ever after is only in movie....

Happy is for you to work on

Another december

And I got numb, a wrecked again.
The whole year was not easy and it is still not better for me.
I was a positive person... But maybe it has changed and I want my old self back with me...

Just a simple life... A simple happiness... A simple me!

Can I have that luxury again?

2nd year

No one noticed, but it's our 2nd anniversary... A lot has happened, even the worst...
Hope that none worse than that shall happen in our years ahead...

I'm alive

And (hopefully) have moved on ;-)

Imperfect world

When you are spending much time in your comfort zone....
When all around you seems to be naturally perfect....
You tend to forget that life ain't so..
Until one day when reality struck you, pull you down to your lowest dream and sink you into an endless tunnel of worriness and fear..

I knew that because I was there (well hopefully I was and not I am ;p )
Anyhow, no matter how hard you fight everything with your own strength, it will all come back to how close you are with God and how much you believe in Him that all mess is nothing but for the good of you...
At least it will give you peace of mind... And that is all that I want in life...
Peace in mind and in heart...

So help me God....
;-)

2012

New year
New hope
New life
New job

May God bless us always...
Happy new year dear friends!!

Sahabat sejati...

Tidak akan pernah bisa melukai sahabatnya sendiri...
Tidak akan meninggalkan sahabatnya, dalam susah ataupun senang...
Tidak egois...
Selalu menghormati sahabatnya...

Married couple should a true bestfriend for each other...


*for me and my best friend, be strong girl! *

Desember 2011

Sepertinya jadi saat terberat buat gue...
Semua ujian muncul dari awal bulan ini
Kejadian yang di luar dugaan pun ada
Terpukul? Sangat...
But maybe I do deserve this...
I'm staying because God stays with me 'til the end..

D-3

Ha! I've never felt this nervous for an interview before ;p well maybe not nervous, but I just really want to know the result, that's all...
No no, it's not cheating... But it seems that getting this job may lead to a better and organize life, our life ;)
God knows better of what I need so I should actually enjoy the process of waiting :D don't u think so?

Which one?

What u want is not always what u need..
What u'll get is your need
So hopefully what I want is what I (we) need...
Pengeeeeeeen.... :p
I miss working...

Apple

Kalau dulu pernah posting blogging dari blackberry (jaman blackberry belum ngetrend ;p), sekarang coba pake OS 5 ah.... Ipod n wifi :D
Makin mudah aja ni akses... Tp waktu utk blogging jg semakin berkurang *nguap* Arka sudah tidur, saatnya tidur juga.... Mudah2an bisa bangun pagi utk berenang ;p (doubt it! Haha...)

journey with Arka

hohoho...
it's been a very long time that I've not written anything here...
in short, the baby was born on his 37th week through a caesarian sectional procedure. A healthy baby boy!
We had some  problem during our first months because we found out a bit late that he has tounge-tied problem.
Anyway, those stressful days had passed :) we made it through!
He's 6.5 months now. Healthy, cute (if I'm allowed to say it because all babies are cute!), and gaining weight more each day.. I love him! We love him :)
I've spent all those months with him and I was lucky that I didn't have to work (blessing in disguise that the company I worked for was having an internal restructuring and I was released for that reason...)
Now, I'm ready to get busy with the business again ;) we'll see where I'll work next...

week 36 to 37

This is my 36th going to 37th weeks of pregnancy.
It's getting closer and closer... and in my case it's very close because I'm having this so called Placenta Previa, in which the placenta is blocking the birth path. So, the way to deliver the baby is to have a surgery, a caesarian section procedure. The procedure is quite common nowadays and it's not as scary as it used to be as the doctor will only make a small cut to get the baby out

Thing that really needs to be taking care of is that I shouldn't experience severe contraction prior to the operation because it will harm the placenta. This is what's difficult. Why? Of course! Because I won't know when the contraction will happen and how. With the baby getting bigger now and with the age of pregnancy getting older, it's natural that I get some contractions as a result of the baby is reaching toward the birth path and the womb's getting ready to get him out :) but I can't have too much of it... :(

So now, I'm monitoring the move of the baby (he can't move too much as this may also harm the placenta, but he shouldn't move too little as well - so confusing! :D), the contraction that happen, and anything else that I experience. Luckily, I'm already starting my maternity leave so it'll be easier for me to do that because if I'm still working, I tend to forget that I need to monitor the baby - doesn't mean that I don't love you when I'm working baby... ;)

Anyway, I'm enjoying it... and we'll see what happen...
Wish me well!! ;)

mencari nama --- finding ne(a)mo(e)

finding a name for a child is not easy... I knew it already...
but knowing it and actually going through it, is actually give you different sense
all parents wants to give their children good names, of course...
so the search begun...
some start by determining the language... some by origin...
some people look around themselves to see a figure with good personality, heart, etc, and use the name - basically in a hope that the child will follow the footsteps of that good person
some use the internet...
some use the announcement of the "UMPTN" -- this is quite a story itself :)
some ask for their parents advices - or even ask their parents to name their future grandchild

me and my husband? what do we do? what happen to our process?? :p

I didn't really think of a name before last month, but time surely passed by so fast!! so we need to find a name soon...
my husband had already suggested some names, but I still had not given any at that time...
what I don't want is to give the same name as the name of my friend's children - if I obviously know their name, then I prefer other names. It's just that many varieties are better than just one variety, don't you think so? :D
also, I try to avoid that the name can be used as a joke - although, joke can come in many ways, so this is just a prevention that may not succeed... :p
what else, I want to give him a last name -- got it! :p

and I've suggested a middle name now!!! :D he likes the name, so I think we'll keep it
the homework is for the first name... any suggestion?? ;)

with no intention of joking about this process, we do laugh a lot when looking for a name... not because the names that came up are ugly or anything, but if we look at it, it's a fun process despite of its difficulties!

So... let's hope we'll get a good, proper name... that reflects our hopes and wishes for our child :)

For anyone reading this who's also looking for names... Good Luck!!

ngeblog berbobot?

sudah lama saya tidak menulis sesuatu yg "agak" berbobot di sini :p
lack of time.. lack of energy... you named it.. all the reason is available for it :)

kali ini.. sambil menunggu download yang tak kunjung  selesai - belum lagi install dan mengerjakan pekerjaan dari hasil download-an itu, rasanya perlu juga nge-blog :p

so let's get to the next title now.....
"mencari nama"

just found out

that blogrolling is no longger available?!!
well... I guess that will be alright :)

hey it works!

I tried to blog some days ago and did not manage to post anything..
Either there was something wrong with  blogger or my laptop is getting old :p (it is!)
Anyway... it's my 28th week this week... :) time flies... ;)

pitbull

Watched a film about 2 dogs and a cat this morning...
One of the dog is a pitbull and looked like Melan...
I miss her... :)

Goodbye Melan

Just two days ago I lost my dear dog.... Melan...
She was trying to jump over the fences, as she always did... but the leash was too short so it took her to her final resting place...

She's my only dog that I took care of from a puppy...
She almost died when she was 2 months old...
her siblings died, running out of blood because those Necator worms sucked up their blood... She was dying too...
I had her everyday on hand for medicine and food, and promised myself that I will take good care of her if she survive... and she did...

She became a healthy dog of no fear (except of me :p), full of energy and no trace of feeling any pain what so ever... This last one of course because she's a pitbull which is known as dog who understand no pain.
She had a several bloody fight with her big sister, but she didn't feel a thing... And it was just left me screaming seeing all those blood from both dogs...

She's not easy to handle sometimes, but she understood me or any other member of my family when we were sad or not in the good mood...
She seems to try to cheer everyone up every time she has the chance... even my little niece who's not yet 2 years old... Anyone would see it as frightening scene to see a small child with a big dog like her... but she won't ever harm her... it's a proven fact...
I won't cover the fact that she's quite stubborn as well.. especially when it comes to cat... -wonder if this cat vs dog will keep on going forever-
She's also quite naughty and is able to destroy many many things at home... :p
BUT... she's also afraid of the thunder... :)

She'd be 5 years old next year... A grown up at the human age...

I was supposed to take her from my parents home to my own house after the marriage, but there were several reason why we're not able to do it... One of them is that I was not in a good shape to handle an energetic pitbull during my first trimester...
I believe that everything happens for a reason.... even this incident...
I believe that there was reason why she survived the Necators and was there by my side for almost 5 years...
I believe that her presence in my family has given each one of us a memory to remember... a good one... and that we also learn a lot from it...
I believe that it's her time to leave us now...

Farewell Melan... Be in peace....
You know I'll love you always...
And I shouldn't shed a tears again now because I did that on the day you died... endlessly...
I know that you can understand why I'm not supposed to be sad anymore
I'll tell him the story about you when he's born later... I'm pretty sure he'll love you as much as I do...

week by week

Wow!! It's October already... I have left September empty... just like that.. :p

Baby news...
Everything seems to be fine... still copping with the vomiting, although it's getting much better now
Although there are still some days when I just have to vomit so hard that it feels like I'm emptying my stomach, and then collapse the next day - not literally :p, but just feel very weak. The good side is.. it's manageable now... I don't feel weak all day like before because I can always eat better in the afternoon after those bad days..

The doctor said that the baby is moving actively inside.. well, no wonder I feel quite sick.. someone is jumping around inside my stomach and you don't expect yourself to get sick?! please... :D *kiss baby kiss*
I've always been a sleeper... sleeping anywhere and anytime...
but with the baby, it's just getting worse... more and more!! haha... so fun!! :))

Work update...
I can work from home and come to the office twice a week, or more if needed :D this is nice, considering my condition last month ;) I have to admit that I'm a bit slow with work now... but I'm trying hard here...
Not so easy to work and to vomit at the same time :p but I get a lot of support from my husband... (love you!)
He drives me to work and pick me up again if I need to be at the office, and if you may not know, but his office and my office is very far apart... an hour drive if you're lucky... - since my office've just moved to another building which is located in the center of traffic jam!

Gossip update...
hmm... I'm a bit isolated from this one :p
we'll see if I can write anything this October and if anything is interesting enough to be written :p

strong baby

Wow... this is new to me!!
I'm getting myself weak for a baby!
Never thought that I'll be this weak when I have one, but this surely drains up all my energy... So I guess the baby is a strong one... ;)
Please stay healthy dear baby and help me keep up with your needs... :-*

B'day

hey! I missed my B'day on my blog. That rarely happens... :p
I'm 31 years and 5 days old now ;) haha...
With all the things happen lately, I forgive myself for not writing anything on my blog :p
Lack of time, lack of sleep, lack of many things... but on top of those things, I'm very happy :D

If you remember my post about resolution here, it all comes in stages... eventually...
A house, a dog (coming soon), and next one... :p
Let's hope everything is going to work well for me, that I'll always be healthy and strong to take this next one ;)
May God bless us always.. amen...

ps. Chris, I may not able to visit you on April if this one comes through, but wish all the best for me please :)

one by one

this resolution is truly realised..
step by step...
with all the hard works and all the efforts ...

We are now officially married... :) 26 June was our day.....
We now live in a small house, near a water channel (not in front of it though like what I've drawn before :p), and I'll bring Melan soon to our little house... And who knows what will be next... ;)

Let's hope our day and our way will always be blessed by the Owner of the Universe...

mendadak melow

kenapa yaaaaaa....???
it's less than 2 weeks already!!!
time goes by so fast :)
hope everything will be okay...

counting down starts now...
at 10...

menghitung hari

ternyata udah kurang dari sebulan ya...
cepet juga :p
sejauh ini masih lancar...
pusing? pastinya...
berantem besar? kejadian juga... hiksss...
senang dan gembira? itu sih udah ga perlu ditanya lagi ya... :)

above all, I'm happy...
happy that God blesses us always, in all the things that we did...
happy that we have a great family and friends...
happy to know that it won't be another easy journey, but it will be a journey for the best of us together... for both of us to bring what's best inside...


happy to count the days... when it won't be you or me... but it'll be us...

blogging

time goes by so fast...
and I've been blogging for almost 6 years!!! :p
9 days from today, it'll be exactly 6 years.... :)

lots of tears of sad and happiness
lots of smiles and joys
lots of unpredictable things that I didn't know will happen
and those are just tiny trace of my life, as I will embrace a new chapter.... soon.... ;)

what's going on?

haven't blogged for quite a long time...
no time to do it when I'm connected to the internet with my laptop, but my blackberry doesn't seem to cooperate when I feel like blogging... I wonder if it's because of the internet browser version in the device *sigh*

Anyway...
what's going on?

...
....
.....
......

I'm engaged now ;)
as per today, that is...

(never thought that I'll finally get to that stage, huh? :p me too!!)

it's been a while and life's not getting easier... ;)

tu me manque...

beaucoup...
de plus en plus...
mais tu es tres occupe... je sais...

so I'm grateful for tonight...
that you've spent it with me...
and for tomorrow...
that you'll spend it with me again...
and for every time God says it's okay for us to spend time together :-*

and February went by without a trace...
but I know that I'm truly blessed...

reality bites

Have you ever been laid off?

It has never occured to me that I would experience that...
But here I am...
With a news coming from our own COO that our office is going to be closed, thus all employees working there will have their contract terminated.

Hey, I'm a permanent employee here! But if there's no office then permanent or contractual term will only differ in the package. Still... Jobless is the title for both...

It's not the work...nor the money... It turns out that I care more about the friendship that grew in the office.
I'm the kind of person who believe that God will never abandon me (us), so I'm not worry about what I'll do next...there will always be something to do to pay the bills :) I just need to work harder to get it ;)

I spent a couple of days in a very moody atmosphere... Cloudy...and a bit dark...
What I'd miss the most are the colleagues that have become my friends, good friends...
Everyone will split out, find each own way to continue living...
Damn, I'd miss you guys a lot!!!

I'm sure I'll come across you guys in the future, but I'm really going to miss all the laughs, fun, gossips, and the presence...

All starts well should ends well...
So let's give our best for these last days...
And good luck for all of you!!

berhitung

Tambah... kurang...
Kali... bagi...
Banyak sekali angkanya...

Shock!!
Kok bisa banyak?!
Ngomel sejenak...
Gimana caranya bisa berkurang?!

Menyerah...
Berhenti meneliti...
Nanti saja dipikir dan dilihat lagi...

Tapi... Kok pipinya basah?!!
Karena hasil berhitung atau karena alasan menghitungnya?

Jangan sedih sayang, semua akan baik-baik saja...

*for the one*
-thank you-

comment deletion

Remember I said that I'm using a new tool for the comments? Yes it's in here
But after awhile (5 years to be exact), they decide to remove their free services.
I've looked around the net to see if I can import those comments into the new blogger comments, but I found nothing.
So, since I'm deleting the script to that tools, all comments posted will be gone from the blog and you can't check them (I'd still have those though, and I'll import them back someday when blogger give its suggestion :p )

A friend told me that it will be like letting go off the past (she's just deleted her blog).. Maybe she's right :)
One resolution to be done...

Have a great day everyone!

hello 2010

It's more than 2 hours after the changing of the year... And I'm still not able to sleep yet..
Why do I grow the habbit of having insomnia on my holidays?!! Not so fun although I can stay in bed until afternoon..

Resolution 2010:
- hurting less and loving more
- working harder but sleeping tighter
- more patient and less anger
- talk less and action more
- braver and worry not

A bit high on the expectation to get all those things :p but I'll give my best shots!!

Now I need to let go...
All the bind to the past, all the story that shouldn't last, all the hurts and joy that got in the way, all of the doubt and reason that shouldn't be kept...

Welcome 2010, I'm greeting you with my smile... on my face and in my heart...
Let this year and the years to come become the time of happiness, peace and comfort to everyone...

Cheers!!

another birthday of you

With me...

Happy birthday dear...

low battery

2009 sering banget lowbatt...
Tekor power-nya...
Kenapa ya???
Semoga 2010 diberi energi yang berlebih...
Jadi ngga sering lowbatt...kayak sekarang ini :(

natal

Joyeux Noël à vous qui célèbre!! ;)

Resolusi 2010??

Hehehe...
Do you think it's manageable??
We'll see...

In any case, God will only give the best ones in our lives, as long as we keep close to Him and never give up trying... :)

UP (La Haut)

This movie (disney-pixar production) was released few months ago, but I've just seen it... the french version with no subtitle (haha.. you can imagine that I understood very little).
But beside my limitation to get all the conversation in the movie, it was a good movie.. good story... about a dream.. and to get the dream come true... (hmmm, I seem to be keen of this kind of movies a lot)

It started when the main character was just a child and met his "wife to be" in an abandoned house (in which the girl was imagining that she was on a plane).. Funny scene.. :)

Nice smile.. before he was down from the 2nd floor to the 1st...

And this is the book of her dream of adventure... which soon became his as well..

(ooopps.. sorry, this is the french version of the movie.. It said "My Book of Adventure")

The book contains her dream to go to South America and have a house in this place... (at that high edge near the water fall)

When they got married, they bought the abandoned house and make it theirs.. lovely house..

and started a new life together..
they had happy times and also sad time when they found out that she couldn't have a baby, but he stayed beside her and they started their childhood dream again together.. a dream of adventure..
(really love the part when he was there for her...)

In short, no matter how hard they tried to save some money to go to South America, there were always other things to tend to. Until she got really ill and passed away with her dream...

Then... the adventure begun... he chased their dream for her...
and got to the place.... with a house and thousands of balloons...!

and more adventures of course... (just watch the movie if you're interested)

It's touchy, funny and entertaining...


Kind of makes me want to start my own "livre d'aventure" with him... tôt
And make our dreams come true... like they did...

500D

dari masih bermimpi....
akhirnya kesampaian...
dibolehin ber-SLR lagi...
huhuhu...
senangnyaaaa!!

makasih sayangkuu...!!

abis ini nabung lagi untuk yang satu itu yaaaa.... :-*

hop hop hop

1...
2...
3...

JUMP!!

Ease all your worries and fears for it means that you're loosing your trust in Him ;)

and so it is

I knew then that it won't be easy...
I knew then that it'll drain out all the strength I have...
I knew then that I may not have what I want...

But I've given all I've got,
Be as best as I could've been,
Went through all from tears to laughter,
For something that feels right...

But the journey's not ours to have for now...
Not yet, if I may say so...
But let's just wait and let the time tells...

Will it be or not be...

the girls

I should've written this last weekend while the feeling lasts... :p
We had soooooooo much laughs together last saturday!

It started with me wanting to get myself busy by spoiling myself and trying something new for a change...
So I was thinking that I've never been to a spa before :))
Not so surprising as I'm not into that kind of activity much (hairdresser is just for cutting my hair and doing hair spa/creambath is not something that's done once a month - have it done for once every 4 or 6 would be good already :p )

Anyway, as I like to try something new when I have free time, so I thought that I really should go this time
Searching in the net for the nearest natural "branded" spa, well known for its herbal ingredients, I found one quite close to my house
You see, if I'm going to try this, it has to be in a proper place with high quality..
Why?
Because if I don't like it, then I won't think of trying other place as I've tried one of the best and dislike my experience there..

And soon after I got the idea, I've another idea to drag along my best friends to that place :)) - and like or dislike the new thing together :p
We've been friends for ages and although they occassionaly come for hair treatment etc, they're just like me and we are still the "tomboy" girls of our childhood in a way (but I'm the worst of everyone as they've stopped climbing trees while I still do "boys" activities even now).
This time, I'm not asking them to do wall climbing with me :p so I'm pretty sure they'd be interested (either way I'll get them there somehow!! :p)

In short, I've got them poissioned with my idea!!! GREAT!!! :p

Ok, so it'll be girls day after all...
We went to the spa, each got different treatment as preferred which made us not talking to each other.
It was a fun experience (might coming there again when we have cash :p), however the best come after...

All the way since we we're out from the spa place, what we did was just... LAUGHING...!!!
To all our stories, good time, bad time, and worst time...
To all our mistakes...
To trying new thing... (this goes especially for me from the spa :p)
To all regrets and lessons...
Pointing out mistakes that happened for not listening to the other advices...

Basically, just laughing hard at our lives :))

...
.....
...

It's always fun to be reminded of the ups and downs of your life with laughter...

So Thank U girls...!!
Shall we make this "girl day" regular??! (And yes, next time we do it after paycheck is in the pocket :p )

janjimu

Tertunda cukup lama...
Membuatku kesal...sampai akhirnya cuma bisa pasrah...

Will you keep your promise and be true to your words?
Will you fail me or be brave enough to do it?
Are you sure you really want it?
Do you have second thought?

Semua pertanyaan akhirnya tidak perlu dijawab...

All things happen for a reason
All decisions has its own purposes in life
All that shall happen is for the best of life, once you are sure that you've given all you can to gain the best...
So I need only to wait... In patient... (Quite hard if you'd like to know... :p)

....
.....
....

Hari ini janjimu terpenuhi

Was it difficult?
Was it hard?
Did you get cold feet?

Pertanyaan yang tidak perlu juga dijawab

You've done what you've promised me to do, so we'll see what's next...

Anywhere....

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now


-by Evanescence-

converse merah part 2

Memang menyenangkan!

Everything's as estimated yesterday..

Plus... I had a good progress with my project (cross my fingers all will go as planned), I had a lift to go meeting my friends at PP, I had good meals...

Ditutup dengan menyenangkan juga oleh jemputan si pacar...!!

I know u're really tired and extremely sleepy and the traffic was horrible because of the rain, but u still came to pick me up :-*

Sleep tight my dear...

Ce soir, je sais combien que tu m'aime.... Beaucoup!!

converse merah

Rasanya cape banget hari ini...entah kenapa... Udah ngga inget juga kapan terakhir kali berasa cape kayak gini...
Need to lay back and feel my bones crush.. :)

Besok sepertinya akan menyenangkan...mungkin lebih cape dari hari ini, tapi rasanya akan menyenangkan...

I won't be with Cuplis tomorrow... (Kena tilang euuy!! Trus tiketnya ketinggalan di kantor.. Hehe.. Clumsy as I should be :p )

Mau naik bus!!! Senangnya bisa nambah tidur sejam di bus :p semoga alarm-nya masih berfungsi jadi bisa bangun tepat pas di belokan deket kantor...

Will be wearing my red converse shoes...!! Semoga ga dicegat satpam gedung dan dikira anak ilang...

Mau ketemuan sama anak2 Swedia :p hope it'll be fun...

.....

Naaaaah...pulangnya gimana ya... :p
we'll see... Anyhow, it should be fine and fun ;)

.....

Now let's get myself some sleep... ;)

if only I could turn back time...

If my time is not that long...
I wish not of time to be turned back...
I will wish my childhood wish...
That I shall be a good person...
That I shall not be a burden to any of whom I care the most...
That I would able to show my love and attention more...
That I would able to bring happiness...
That I could be one of those good memory...
And finally, that I could be a useful person for my surroundings...

happy people

people are really different...
on how they see their lives or others...
on how they deal with their destinies or consequences...
on how they deal with their past...

I've said "you're forgiven but it's not forgotten" to a friend
and someone special to me said that it shouldn't be like that...
you should really forgive and forget...
I know that... and actually do that... (most likely because I have short memories :p)
but saying that I "forgive and forget" seems to make me a weak person... too soft and easily fooled...

well it's not like that at all...
it takes lots of courage to forgive.. to completely and sincerely forgive... since it means that you should be able to handle your heart very well
and it takes more strength to forget as people tend to remember all those bad things that happen to them... so human.. but it's still not a justification to see that tendency as a good thing

I have my bad time and worst time... but I don't regret them...
Some people did hurt me... but I don't despise them... (I may had hated them for a short while... something so called "human" reaction :p but not too long...)

I know and I believe that everything happens for a reason...
Even when I think it got me to my lowest point... but still... God knows that I have something to learn there so I'll just need to figure that out... with less emotion or anger involved... with cold headed and positive thinking... ;)
Don't you think so?

370 hari

bersamamu...

lama yaaaaaaaa....... ;)

..
....
......
........
..........

let's try to make it to be "for the rest of our lives"....
:-*

masih bermimpi

punya kamera SLR lagi... :'(
turun deh, jadi 500D ga papa...
tabungannya cukup ga ya...??
hmmm....

stuck in KL

was intended for 3 weeks, and I got around to make it only 1.5 weeks... :)
I'm here since last wednesday... so I should be back next friday
but I'm finding a way to make it just one week!!
For a good reason, of course...
My team here is actually going out of town next week for projects, so there will be only one person left in the office... I figure that would be the same as I'm doing the work in Jakarta.
Now, what's need to be done is to check how much will the airlines charge me if I want to change the date... (and hopefully they still have some seats on that date...)
And if I can make it home on that day.. it should be great since it would be our anniversary :p
We'll see... ;)

no sign

I asked for some signs...
If I need to stop...

Nothing

I asked for some signs...
If it will be as bad as I can imagine...

Nothing

I asked for some signs...
If it will be difficult...

Nothing

....

Everything just goes well...
And yet, I'm still searching for those signs...
Just to keep me on the average level...not too high, for I can't handle the fall...not too low, for I may not have the srength to climb...
So just average...
but still with no sign for now...
(Then I should start to think that it's a good sign, don't you think? :p)

never stop believing

This date last year...

I stopped something
...something that was not supposed to take place from the start..
...A mistake I knew would be too difficult and complicated for me to handle...
...A lesson of life I learnt through a hard way...

This date last year...

I knew that I did the right thing...
And I knew that I must pay for what I did...
But above all, I knew He won't leave me with my debt without His help...
I knew He will give me what I need to get through my decision, decision made with full consciousness and straight mind...decision that really was (still is) the right thing to do...

I didn't know what He will give...
I didn't know if I will survive...
But now I know...
I know what He has given me to stay sane...
I know that I've paid some of my debt with that as well...
I know that I'm here and I survive...

...
Just don't stop to believe and everything shall be arranged for you to live in peace
...

lebaran ni...

Maaf lahir batin yaaaa...
Lebaran pendek ni.. Penuh dengan perjalanan jauh...

18-19 sept : perjalanan 15 jam ke Solo
19 sept : bersantai dan belanja di Solo
20 sept : lebaran pertama - sungkeman keluarga Solo, nyekar, berhandai-handai, lanjut perjalanan ke Bandung
21 sept : lebaran kedua, sungkem eyang jogja dan bertemu keluarga besar, pulang ke Serpong
22 sept : bersantai di rumah...

Fuiih... Jadwal padat!!
Tapi menyenangkan bertemu saudara2ku tercinta.. :)

deg...deg...deg...

"Aku mau .............. kamu"
Deg...deg...deg...
Ini sungguhan kah?
"Gimana caranya ya?"
Deg...deg...deg...
Haduh, mana kutahu... Kan blum pernah...

Jadi, gimana caranya ya...? ;)

sabar

Kesabaran itu ibarat obat minuman yang pahit sekali, yang hanya dapat diminum oleh mereka yang berbudi sentosa, tetapi bisa menyembuhkan kesusahan dan penyakit...

Sabar bukan niat yang terhenti pada pengharapan atau tutur kata saja...

(Dipetik dari buku Sasangka Jati, bab Sabar)

besok puasa...

mohon maaf lahir dan batin yaa...
selamat berpuasa teman2ku...

menjelang detik-detik perayaan kemerdekaan

"Bahwa sesungguhnya kemerdekaan itu ialah hak segala bangsa, dan oleh sebab itu maka penjajahan di atas dunia harus dihapuskan..."

Susahnya menghapus penjajahan... :(
Walaupun judulnya sudah merdeka, tapi rasanya penjajahan dalam berbagai bentuk tetap ada...

Walaupun begitu...
"Sekali MERDEKA tetap MERDEKA!!!"
Semoga aku bisa berguna untuk bangsaku... :)

Selamat Ulang Tahun Kemerdekaan Indonesia-ku tercinta!!!

score of 7 or 8

I met one of my bestfriends today...!
We're like bound to each other when I was in college and I haven't seen her for a very long time as she has been living in France..
So it was a very pleasant and fun meeting..
I picked her up at her house and met her mother who's still the usual her, like the old days ;)
She remembers me for sure, I was the one who kept the phone busy back then (either her daughter called me or I called her), stayed over for group study before exam (which usually was full with gossip and "curhat"), and lots of other things.. :p

So for the meeting, we went to PIM together with Maïssa, her daughter... Yup, she's married since around 4 years ago when I was still in Sweden..

As we talked about lots of things back in the old times, we did the same today.. ;) I even lost track of time and practically had to race home to arrive in time before "the carriage turns into pumpkin" again :p but we usually lost track of time anyway (and made my mother jumped everytime the phone bills came :p)

We talked about many things, update on our friends latest news and then about marriage as well (not a new topic of this month, huh?)
As I mentioned to her about some of my friends with their "not so bad" situation and telling me to enjoy my "dating time" while it lasts because it won't be like that when you're married, she said something refreshing...
"Well it will be different and I'm not saying that I don't argue with my husband, I did have a fight with him which got me cried and deeply sad, but on the scale of 1 to 10, I think we have 7 or 8"

I like the sound of it, they are working for their marriage to succeed..and she admitted that it takes both sides to do it..

I would like that please...
With a goodwill to start and efforts to make it last for as long as God granted you the numbers...

things I'd really want..

-- Come to Stéph's wedding in October.
She's a dear friend and we had so much fun in Sweden. Jenny will be there, another dear friend from Sweden. Well, return ticket to Paris, her hometown, is around US$875 to US$ 1050... That's the cheapest... There will be few more € to be spent, assuming staying at least a week is proper and visiting some other friends there is a must... And for gifts and souvenir and fun...

-- Canon EOS 50D
A friend told me that it will be cheaper when the 60D is launched.. I think it won't be in the near time, right? Price of body + standard lens 18-55mm is around Rp 12mill. With 18-200mm lens (that is one of the dream) will be approx. Rp 15mill

-- another event
If this shall occur in this year, it may be 10 times the round ticket...


Pheeew... The wishes are kind of big this year... I had two wishes granted last year... I may be lucky enough to have another two this year :p or I may be blessed by not getting anything.. :p we'll see... I still believe that everything is happened for a reason.. A reason that's best for me, as long as I stay close with The decision maker... ;)

today's topic: marriage

Why?
Because people that said hi to me on YM were bringing that subject along in the conversation..

#1 (out of nowhere)
Friend 1: loe mau merid bulan November ga? Gue mau over dp ni.. Gedungnya ok loh.. Di P****j*** :)
Me : ha? Kejauhan tu buat gue.. :p
(And the conversation continued to catering choice, date, etc.. Hers, of course :p not mine.. Basically because she is the one having a wedding soon and not me :p Hehe)

#2
Friend 2: kapan kawin loe?
(ga pake basabasi-red)
Me : nanti.. :D
how's marriage life for you?
Friend 2: yah, not bad lah..
Me : huh?
(And the conversation continued to differences between dating and marriage, responsibilities, etc.)

*hehe... It's an entertaining day for me.. The subject was brought up with laughter and joy ;) thanks girls!!

I don't think I can take over the down payment for the venue :p but I will consider your suggestion of different places...for later.. ;)

Only "not bad" huh? Well, I think I 'll still keep it as one of my plan though :p

*girls, you're fighters..!! I know you can handle and get through it well ;)

first day after 2 weeks..

Today's the first day I came to work after resting for 2 weeks...
Didn't have too many task to do since I took care of almost everything just before I got sick :p
Still weak, but manageable..
I even drove myself!! (Sorry doc, had to disobey you.. I might gotten sicker if I didn't.. :p)
Anyway, tomorrow..more things to do..
Hope I'm getting stronger by the day, which I have a feeling that I will as I found myself feeling hungry quite a lot now :p A good sign of recovery ;)

today is today

A bit of tradition to write something on my B'day...
I did just this morning, but seems like it's not complete yet..

A good opening of the day with a very pleasent closing...
Love the moments..not all though, a bit less when I was almost fainted after they took my blood sample :p low bad pressure and lack of sleep are held responsible.. :)

Favourite of the day is his present, by mean of really was there...

Je crois que je l'aime de plus en plus... Je sais pas pourquoi mais c'est ça... Incroyable! Je suis amoureux de lui...
Dieu nous bénisse..
Notre chemin est encore plus plus loin...

30

Hey, I guess I'm trully blessed...
Never thought I'd reach that number... ;)
Thank you...

change

...

It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things that seem still are still changing

...


-Still (reprise) by Ben Folds

spending 29

if I'm blessed to reach the day, then I'll be ending my 20's being sick.. :D
got thypoid just last week..
got doctor's order to rest... bed rest.. (how do you think that sounds for me and my whole activities.. totally not good!)
when I felt that I was better, the doctor gave another look.. and yes, I still need that rest for another week! :(

wait.. I'm not complaining here.. (well, maybe just a little bit? :p)
I'm happy that I can have some rest... and it's actually in a good moment where I have completed most of my tasks at the office
but staying in bed and doing nothing is just out of the question...
luckily, nowadays I have lots of means to do something... not like 14 years ago when I got this sickness.. and blogging while you're sick is not forbidden, right?? :p

so... the number is growing in just a few days... I should feel old... but I don't... (LOL)
Or maybe I should start to feel that?? in a way it can make you wiser... well, only for some people though :))

and what have I done in my almost 30 years lifetime??
I think I was a good person....sometime... :))
I think I've made lots of people laugh... (it should be a good thing, right?)

but I've been bad and a jerk as well...
I've broken so many hearts (I really am sorry for that...)... although I was also broken lots of times, but it does not compensate...
I've disappointed some people.. (I think my mom is on top of the list, but I know she's proud of me at the same time. I can't understand how it works, actually.. but maybe I will someday..)
I've made people angry, created chaos, got into a real deep trouble that only God can help (and He did), confused people with my decision... and the list can continue forever...!!

Hmm.. not so good after all... :))
Well, I just hope that I've been a good influence for some, a good memory for some others, a smile for the rest...
And if I've touched any in a bad way that they dislike, please accept my sincere apologies.. never meant to cause anyone harms, but I may have did that...

Let's see if I can do better...
if God is sparing me more times to be a better person...
we'll see... :)

what is going on here...??!?!

What you get when you can't sleep...
Strange conversation with "old" friend from Grad school...

TAK!!! says:
so where r u living now?
RP says:
still in Jakarta
RP says:
you're in mexico city, right?
TAK!!! says:
yeah
RP says:
and you're married now, right?
RP says:
i think i heard that from Hector
TAK!!! says:
well.... yeah
TAK!!! says:
but about to divorce
RP says:
what??
RP says:
i'm not even married yet
TAK!!! says:
lol i wish i wasnt


they've only been married for 11 months... 11 MONTHS!!!
goossh...

Presidential election day 2009

Nope.. I won't be talking about the election process or result here... :p
Everyone has their own opinion and much of those are already in the news
I myself have my own opinion, which fortunately would not be shared here... :)

This election day is a kind of tradition for me and my childhood friends...
Many of our parents still live in the same housing complex and many of us are still administratively registered there, so when it comes to election day, everyone from everywhere will go home to vote (or to have a vacation :p ) and basically will meet everyone else that's there to vote..
A kind of reunion.. where we usually gather at our old elementary school area (as the election usually takes place there...), have some "old" meals that we used to take during daily school break and chat of the old days... then go to some other place together to "continue" the laughs :p
Although with the growing years, we have less and less people that can gather in the "reunion", but it's still a fun thing to do...

Yesterday's reunion was only with 6 people. We went to see a movie (Ice Age 3) and wound up waiting for 4 hours at SMS because the previous schedule for the movie is fully booked... still fun though...
and the laughs continued during the whole movie as well... :D

hope we'll still able to gather and have this reunion again.. 5 years from now...

validation please...

Akhirnyaaa....!!
kekirim juga final revisi untuk technical review...
eh tapi belum final deng, masih nunggu comment lanjutan..
and then to the next stage of technical review...
and then... let's submit the project for validation!! ;)
cross my fingers that the process will be quick and no major comments from the DOE
after that.. hoping the EB to accept everything (unlikely though.. at least not without comments) and get it registered..!!

pheeeww... that would be a long way to go...
some of you might not know what it is about...
well, it's my work... the one I put my biggest effort into for now...
it's the world of CDM.. a never-ending story of the world and environment... ;)

Nice Beat

I wanna ask you -
Do you ever sit and wonder,
It's so strange
That we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care
What goes on in the other one's head?

Things I've felt but I've never said
You said things that I never said
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago:

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

You could have just propped me up on the table like a mannequin
Or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me)
Any face that you wanted me
To be seen.
We're
Damned by the existential moment where
We saw the couple in the coma and
It was we were the cliché,
But we carried on anyway.

So, sure, I could just close my eyes.
Yeah, sure, trace and memorize,
But can you go back once you know

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)

You don't know me at all (at all)
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me

If I'm the person that you think I am (Ah ah ahh)
Clueless chump you seem to think I am (Ah ah ahhh)
So easily led astray,
An errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash, then
Why the f**k would you want me back?

Maybe it's because

(You don't know me at all)
(You don't know me, you don't know me.)

So, what I'm trying to say is
What (What?)
I'm trying to tell you
It's not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you'll only change it.
(Say it.)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)

What?



--You don't know me--
by Ben Folds, feat. Regina Spektor

home alone 1

Kevin : Why don't you call your son if you miss him?
Old man : We had a big fight and I'm afraid that he doesn't want to speak to me again
Kevin : Well I think you should call him
Old man : And what if he doesn't want to talk to me?
Kevin : Then at least you know that and you won't be afraid anymore...

Basically...
It's how brave you are to face others...no matter how hard and difficult the situation... If you truly believe, then you have nothing to be afraid of...
And if what happens is exactly the thing that you are afraid of, then at least you know... And you can stop being afraid (since it happens already)... And find a way to cope with it... Better than being afraid of your own thought, right?!!

Why is this posting?
Because I admit that I'm afraid to do something for I may loose... But I was reminded today that the important thing is that you try...that you give your best effort...and that all the result is up to Him who owns this world...
So, I'll try... Though I may need a little more time to gather the courage, but I'm sure it'll all be okay in the end...

"Don't be afraid of giving, and love might just begin"
(from a song, my childhood song, forget the title though..)

menunggu air mendidih

My life is not perfect.. I know...
My love life is far from perfect.. I also know...
I'm not even close to perfect.. I know that perfectly...
But I would never trade my life with someone else's
I would refuse to experience other's love life
And I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me

Walaupun sekarang sering sakit-sakitan ga jelas, tapi harus semangat!!! ;) ya ga??

Everyone has their own things to deal with, their experience to help them, their friends and family to be happy with, their memories to hold on, their wishes to be granted, their mistakes to be forgiven... And I think everyone also has their faith to God that keeps them sane...

Mulai melantur...
dan airnya sudah mendidih sekarang..

apprendre le français

je dois apprendre le français plus fort, surtout d'ecouter.... :(
quelqu'un veut de m'aider??

seriously (not) joking

Midnite conversation:

+ : Would you like to grow old with me? :)
- : Emang kamu bisa tua? Perasaan dr dl cm segitu2 aja. :-p
+ : Bisa... Bisa tua, makin pelupa, makin nyebelin juga, makin jelek, n bisa jd sakit2an.. :p jadi gmn?
- : Ya gmn lg? Udah mentok.. :-*
+ : Mentok apanya?? :p
- : Mentok cintenye ame eneng ocha.. :-p
+ : Duuuh... Jadi malu aye baca smsnya... :p


That's how it is when you can't sleep... :p
it's a serious conversation after all...
And I bet he's asleep now.. :p

Message 76

Just a few minutes after you left the house...

Kamu tau ga kalo aku sayang bgt sama kamu?!
From: 0813xxxxxx23
9:19 pm 24/5/09

and I asked.. "why do you ask?"
you said.. "because I just want to say it"
then I said.. "it's not because of X-Box or Kawasaki, is it?!?!"
and you laughed... :))
so I said, "nope, you still can't have them for now honey" with a big grin on my face..

I know... it's not because of those...
and the answer is "yes"
because you showed it to me when we said goodbye near the carport..
you had that look in your eyes...
a kind of look that I've been able to avoid all these times for I was not able to return it with all my heart..

but there you were with that look in your eyes...
a look that I now can return gladly...

so the answer is "yes"

-----

and it's true

have you heard that "curiosity kills"???

I have...

I know that it hurts sometimes when you know something that's not as expected
I know that it will make your brows raised for something that you never know it exists
but...
I didn't know that it really can kill...

So curiosity just killed a part of my heart.. for something I may not suppose to know..
but it's something that is actually good to know...
to keep you in balance...
to keep you on track and not being carried away...
to keep you sane when you think you're already sane...

I know now...
and now I pray...
please make my curiosity a good way of finding my way...
to walk on this earth... to stay close to You...
and to come home to You someday...

I have made my promise to him... so please let me keep it...
please show me what should be done... anything but to break the promise...
let me stay with him... until You say I should not be...

21 Oktober

Wah.. ternyata tanggal 21... hihihi.. bener ga ya??
happy belated anniversary honey!!
it's 6 months already.. :p
felt like 13 years though ;)

patient

je compte le jours de se réveiller à côte de toi...
tous les jours...
je sais que maintenant tu fais la même...